Buried Alive
by QuartzApple
Summary: Years after the Itachi massacres the Uchiha clan, nothing has been forgotten. But when Sasuke starts to receive mysterious gifts from an unknown person, does everything have to be the way it is? After all, it's the thought that counts... Ita/Sasu yaoi.
1. Prologue

**Buried Alive – Prologue**

**A/N: So, new project! I figure since I'm a lazy bitch who swears like a sailor that I should force myself to do some work that isn't studying or reading porn, so I decided to write a new ItaSasu fanfiction! This doesn't mean I'm abandoning my other ongoing Bleach fanfiction (insert shameless plug here), which is why I'm still calling it 'ongoing'. Although I think I'll leave the humour for that one. This is my 'serious' story and the other one is my 'fun' story. I don't think getting drunk and making jokes about stuffed mongooses is really in character for either Itachi or Sasuke… Oh, and I'll point out here that I'm going to try to stick to the ages in the timeline: At the massacre, Itachi was 13 and Sasuke was 8(?), during Naruto original series Sasuke is 12/13 and Itachi is 18, and then it all goes to hell in Shippuden. I don't plan on letting it go that far in the first place. I'm sticking within the age group of the pre-time skip. And before you ask – no, this is not shotacon. In America, the legal age of consent is 18 (I think, depends which state you live in?), in England it is 16, and in Japan it is 13. So it's not paedophilia, it's not statutory rape, it's completely legal. However, the fact there will be incest later makes it not so legal, but if you've clicked on this story you probably know that, right? Note on the title, it comes from a song by 'The Used', 'Buried Myself Alive', with the 'myself' dropped 'cuz I'm cool. Ah, and the lyrics below (another thing I'm doing ^^) are from 'Empty Chairs at Empty Tables' ****from ****Les Misérables.**

_This is thinking._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Summary: Years after the Itachi massacres the Uchiha clan, nothing has been forgotten. But when Sasuke starts to receive mysterious gifts from an unknown person, does everything have to be the way it is? After all, it's the thought that counts…**

**Warning: This chapter is pretty much PG, but it will go waaaay up later. We're ramping it up to full out yaoi lemons later on, but I actually have to establish a relationship first, y'know? It's good practise and all.**

**Disclaimer: (Because I really felt like doing one of these ^^) Naruto is the property of Masashi Kishimoto, the lucky bastard, and he's making a hell of a lot more money off it than me. Because I'm not making any money off it. Because I don't own it. Now, if I **_**did**_** own it…heheheh…let's just say it wouldn't really be a shounen series anymore *cough*.**

_That I live and you are gone.__  
><em>

_There's a grief that can't be spoken.__  
><em>

_There's a pain goes on and on._

It was too hot again. Unseasonably hot for Autumn in Konoha, when the temperature should have started to decline towards the Winter chill, the leaves on the trees turning shades of gold and bloody red while animals scrabbled frantically to fill their food stores or eat enough for the months with no food. Then the leaves would fall, deciduous trees interspersed with evergreens, one tree looking bare and frail next to the other. But everyone knew the leaves would grow back in the Spring, and the tree would be stronger for it.

But this year, a hot breeze blew through the trees in and around the empty Uchiha Compound. It wasn't like the winter wind, which whistled through the streets and whipped around corners, making the abandoned houses seem lonelier and more forgotten. This wind felt like it was trying to pump life back into the buildings and streets, remind them that they still had owners, and that they weren't forgotten.

The wind was also just at the right angle to blow Sasuke's hair into his eyes. He pushed it back and blinked, cursing the wind. It was making him take notice of his surroundings, to acknowledge the district as his own. After all, every single street and building and house and shop belonged to him, even if almost every bed hadn't been slept in, the streets hadn't been walked down, no customers had bought anything from the shops, for five years. _Stupid wind._

As he walked into the older parts of the Compound and into the more residential parts, he ignored the wind completely. He wasn't going to look up, no matter how annoying the hair tapping his cheek and eye was. He wasn't going to look at the houses his relatives had lived in. He wasn't going to remember which ones hadn't been properly cleaned, and probably still had blood stains on the walls and floors, and which ones had been returned to their pristine condition. He couldn't decide which was worse. At least the blood was honest.

The house facades were all very much alike. Uniform. Neat. Presentable. Calm.

Behind the houses was the cemetery. It was new; one of the biggest houses had been pulled down to create an open space for Sasuke to mourn. It was big enough for every single family within the clan to have their own headstone, the ashes of each victim buried beneath. There were too many bodies to bury. The edge of the cemetery met with the fence that marked the edge of the Uchiha Compound, where an old guard tower had been torn down to make extra space. It was an eyesore anyway. Nowadays the Konoha border patrol gave that stretch of the village border almost as much care as it did the rest of the fence. Immediately after the massacre, the terrified chuunin would fly past in an effort to get away from the 'cursed' land. Sandaime had quickly found out and put a stop to it, but it didn't stop rumours.

The rumours were what stopped Sasuke selling off most of the land and moving away. No one would buy any property in the district just because it was all stained in blood. No matter how hard the cleanup teams or even Sasuke himself scrubbed, there would always be bloodstains lurking.

That was the best thing about the cemetery. There were no blood stains because it was built after the massacre. It was sacredly clean to Sasuke, and no one would be allowed to defile it. Especially not _him_.

The young trees planted amid the headstones seemed to be in on the conspiracy; they were still green, although they were faded and wilted. It would be a mercy to them when Autumn hit.

_I suppose it's ironic the trees are shown more mercy than my clan ever was._

His feet were silent on the paving stones as he walked towards the bench overlooking the entire cemetery. It was overshadowed by an older tree that had been a part of the old house, now providing shade to anyone who sat on the bench, casting them into gloom.

It was because of the shadow of the tree Sasuke didn't notice the cloth twist. Out of curiosity, he picked it up, weighing it gently in his pale hands, the cloth dark against his white skin. It was intended for him; why else would it be placed in such a personal spot? There were no real rules that stopped other people venturing into the Compound, but it was almost an unspoken law not to go near it. The wounds were too fresh.

_It's probably from a fangirl, _Sasuke thought, his mood darkening, quietly scanning the area for intruders. He found nothing but a couple of birds and a squirrel. Unless the wild animals were getting in on the fangirl act, then whoever had left it was long gone. _So it can't hurt to open it._

Fingers pulled apart the cloth, laying it flat on his palm to look at the contents. A small flat rock with the imprint of a leaf looked back up at him. It didn't seem like a fangirl type gift. It wasn't overly personal or overly distant. It was like a kind gesture to another human being.

Smiling a little, Sasuke slipped the stone in his pocket. _It can't hurt to keep it._

**A/N: Yay prologue! I've been a little obsessed with this pairing all summer, and I have read pretty much every single ItaSasu fanfiction on FF dot net, so I'm doing my own one. Yay for you if you like my writing, yay for me for getting my fantasies (heheheh…) on paper. If you are one of my readers from my other fanfictions or have found me from my profile page or whatever, then you probably know of my very short and very spontaneous writing style. Well, this is my other style – actually thinking a lot about it before sitting down and writing it. As a result, this is probably better. If less funny. Although I will try and make you smile occasionally (like with squirrel fangirls and whatnot). So, review and tell me what you think. I want to know if I have a reader base. Any flames will be used to roast my dinner, but if you want to give me constructive criticism I'm a happy squirrel. **


	2. Just Memories

**Buried Alive – Chapter 1: Just Memories**

**A/N: Yay, chapter two! Giving it to you early because I just kind of wanted to write it. I'm experimenting a little with my formatting and experimenting a lot with my points of view, so you may be getting some weird breakers because my lines don't seem to work. The prologue was in ****third, but from now on it will almost all be in first from Sasuke and maybe occasionally Itachi, and back to third for anyone else I focus on a little. Song of the chapter: Forget It by Breaking Benjamin.**

_This is thinking._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: Possible language, but nothing smutty yet, so we're maybe kicking it up to a 12. (The rating system: U = universal, PG = parental guidance, 12 = 12+, 15 = 15+, 18 = 18+. So U is like a Disney film, PG has some 'unsettling' mentions, 12 may have swearing and small amounts of non-graphic violence, 15 may have a lot of swearing and violence, 18 is full sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. It's the UK movie rating system in a nutshell, and since I don't know the American one it's the one I'll be using…). Will become incest later.**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it, not profiting from it, unlike Masashi Kishimoto who thought of it first. Flames will be used to roast my sacrificial victim's bodies before I throw them in a nearby swamp.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Everytime I get it I throw it away_

_It's a sign, I get it, I wanna stay_

_By the time I lose it I'm not afraid_

_I'm alive but I can surely fake it_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

It usually took me about five minutes to walk from the burial ground to my home, but I ran back and made it in two. The stone in my pocket bumped gently against my thigh as I ran, a subtle reminder that it was there. The air was too thick and heavy around me, too oppressive, and smelled of blood when it blew across from the buildings.

Not that I was going to look at them. Not that I was even going to think about them.

Quickly, I unlocked the front door. There was no real reason for me to lock any one of the houses in the entire Compound, since no one would dare steal something either out of respect for the dead or fear of retribution. Besides, I'd already removed all the most valuable objects; jewellery, money, a few paintings, and a stack of scrolls I hadn't mastered yet. They were all in one of the many disused rooms of my family home, the room carefully trapped and locked just in case someone got past me.

I'd like to see them try.

The house itself was in very good condition. I maintained the outside, trying to make it look clean and dignified but still lived in, like I could pretend that my mother was still just in the kitchen cooking and singing softly to herself and my father was still just in his study working quietly and Nii-san was-

No. Not even going there.

I only really used four rooms, anyway. The kitchen and bathroom were a necessity, thankfully untouched by my parent's blood (except not really because _he_ was still in here, _he_ was still-), but I'd had to have the flooring in the living room replaced. I wasn't able to look at the long bloodstain across the pale wooden flooring were blood had flowed down the blade of the katana to sink into the fibres, leaving a permanent mark to remind me. But the new floor was just as bad. In a way it felt like I was betraying my parents by removing the evidence so I didn't have to remember them every day.

But I did anyway. And there wasn't that much I could do about it.

My bedroom and the bathroom were upstairs on the same corridor. I'd slept in the same room my whole life, and though there were other rooms I could have moved into to reduce the space I lived in, I wasn't about to sacrifice what was one of my childhood sanctuaries. It had changed a lot, though. I had re-painted the room white by hand, erasing all the scuff marks around the bottom of the walls where my shoes had collided heavily after a day's training, erasing the stains left by pins and stickers that had held up childish drawings of my family. I still had some of the pictures, stashed in a box at the bottom of my wardrobe. I sometimes took them out to stare at the wobbly outlines of our figures, tracing the wide smile I always had on my face. I drew them whenever _he_ was happy with me. It was very masochistic.

A large paper Uchiha fan hung on the wall to remind me of my goal and two photos sat on top of my bedside table next to my alarm clock: Team 7 and the last family portrait that only half-fills the frame because it's folded in half. I don't want to see my smiling face as _he_ rests _his_ hand on my shoulder and looks serenely at the camera in that way _he_ always did. Just Mother's softly smiling face and Father's determined and stoic expression are enough.

I toed my shoes off at the door, making a couple of hand seals to dispel the simple traps. Getting caught up in a net or having several kunai thrown at me from across the room would be very inconvenient, not to mention incredibly humiliating if I had to wait for Naruto or Kakashi to find me when I didn't turn up for training. I would never hear the end of it from either of them.

Still, I was grateful to have them, not that I'd ever actually tell them that. They weren't a replacement family, but they were enough. They were something to protect and strive to beat along the way before I invariably outgrew them. I'd_ make_ _sure_ I outgrew them.

My bare feet were silent as I walked down the hall and up the stairs, fingers trailing lightly on the banister, relishing at the smoothness of the polished wood underneath my fingertips.

"_I want to slide down the banister with you, Nii-san!" I pouted, wrapping my little fingers around the banister rail and sliding them up and down a little. They moved quickly; the polish was still fresh._

"_I'm too big to slide down it anymore, Otouto, but maybe you can manage on your own," Frowning, I latched one hand onto the front of Nii-san's shirt._

"_But it's not as fun without you!" Itachi paused for a moment, and then pulled my hand free from the fabric of his clothes._

"_I'll help you,"_

I jerked my hand away from the banister as if it had burned me. Just another innocuous thing with too many memories.

Moving a little faster, I walked down the corridor and into the bathroom, specifically not looking at the bedroom door opposite and slightly to the left of my own. I shed my shirt as I manoeuvred the bathroom door open with my foot, wanting to put as much space between myself and the door as I could. I dropped my shorts, the stone in my pocket colliding with the floor with a dull _thunk_. I turned on the shower and stepped in, not waiting for the water to heat up. My body remained still as I let the slowly warming water cascade over my head and shoulders, eyes pressed shut against the invading streams. I refused to let myself shiver. When the water was warm enough, I quickly washed my hair and scrubbed my body with a little soap.

I hated showering. I hated looking down at my body or looking up and catching a glance of my face in the mirror. I was terrified of looking and seeing _him_ where I should be.

No. Shoving the thoughts from my head, I stepped out of the shower and roughly towelled my hair dry, pressing out every drop of water. When it was dry, it stuck out, but when it was wet and laid flat against my head, the resemblance was uncanny.

I wrapped the towel around my waist and headed downstairs again. The air in the house chilled my damp skin. I didn't bother to dry off; part of me felt like I shouldn't be allowed to feel comfortable in my own home, no matter how long it had been since. Putting dinner on was more important than looking presentable, anyway. Besides, who was I going to look good for? Myself? Not likely. When nobody else was around, I couldn't give a damn what I looked like, provided I looked different to everyone in the photographs. If I looked too much like my parents, I felt awkward. If I looked too much like a younger me, I felt like I was lying. And if I looked too much like-

"Hey, Teme!" A fist banged loudly on my front door. "You in there?"

I raced upstairs, pulling the cotton shorts and t shirt I wore to sleep in on and running back to the door. That was the only downfall of walking around mostly naked – unexpected orange visitors. I could hear Naruto's yelling from my bedroom, letting out strings of half-coherent threats and challenges. Moron.

"-'cuz if you don't open up right now I'll-" I pulled open the door, leaving his fist hanging in midair.

"It's getting late. What do you want?" He glanced down, scanning my clothing in his oh-so-subtle way. About as subtle as a sledgehammer.

"But it's only eight thirty!"

"Late enough, Usuratonkatchi,"

"Heh, you're just annoyed that I caught you nearly naked," he snickered. "I knew Kakashi should have sent Sakura, give her something to-"

"It's called a shower, you idiot. I wasn't expecting a visitor. Now what was it that you want?" I was not in the mood for this. People coming to the house was always like a little desecration of my privacy, like someone walking over the graves. Well, in a way it was a grave. And that was the kind of thinking that kept my eight year old self awake at night.

"Fine, you boring bastard. Kakashi's been sent on a mission, so we get tomorrow and the day after off,"

"And what's so good about a day off?"

"Well, for one we don't have to get up so early, then we don't have to go and train, then we can go and eat lunch at Ichiraku's – ooh, did you know they have a lunchtime deal on right now? Three bowls for the price of-"

I shut the door, cutting off the babble. There was nothing good about a day off. All the distractions that came from a normal daily routine were gone, and I wouldn't have any excuse to go out. That meant I would be either stuck around the training fields, my mind eventually wandering without a good sparring partner to take my frustrations out on, or I would be stuck at home were the entire house seemed to be assaulting me with memories. And having no reason to get up would mean I would probably _dream._

"Hey, you bastard, I haven't finished talking to you yet!" Naruto called through the closed door. I smirked, wandering back into the kitchen to check on my cooking. I made enough for two out of habit; I'd put the other half in the refrigerator for tomorrow. I pulled out plates and dishes and chopsticks and a glass, setting them on the table that was too big for one, resisting the temptation just to eat off my lap on the sofa. It was just a dinner table. I had no excuse for not using it. Eating off your lap was uncivilised, anyway. Or at least that's what Mother told me whenever I didn't want to eat at the table. Then she would promise that I could sit wherever I wanted, and of course I always wanted to sit next to one person.

She was almost always in the kitchen, even though she didn't do all the cooking. Maybe she felt it was her wifely duty to stay there, or maybe she just didn't want to get under Father's feet like I always seemed to. Getting scolded by Father was the worst possible punishment because he always pointed out how I wasn't good enough compared to my infallible big brother.

Irony's a bitch, isn't it?

The timer on the oven pinged, and I collected my meal, dividing half of it onto my plate and half of it into a dish for the fridge. For a moment, a bubble of regret passed through my chest. Maybe I should have invited Naruto in. Maybe having another person around would chase away some of the memories.

I shook my head. No, I didn't want that. Chasing away the memories meant forgetting, and I wasn't allowed to forget my own family. I would be worse than the monster who took them from me if I just let it go.

On that thought, I wolfed down my meal, sloppily throwing the dishes into the sink. I'd do them later. Too much effort right now. Instead, I dragged myself into the living room, pulled the first book from the bookshelf, sat down on the sofa and opened it to a random page. 'A Comprehensive History of Genjutsu'. How fascinating.

I read until my eyes no longer focused on the page. It was past midnight. I was long past actually taking in any of the words by that point. Half-heartedly slamming the book closed and dropping it on the coffee table, I stumbled sleepily to my bedroom. Pulling open my door, in the haze of half-sleep I could have sworn I smelled _him._

I prayed I wouldn't be dreaming that night.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yay, proper first chapter! As this is my first Naruto fanfiction and my first attempt at writing anything from first person for a while, it may be a little rusty…and I don't have a beta reader. But I'm good with grammar and spelling, and I'm good with proof-reading, so unless I feel I really need one I'm not going to look for one. Yes, I have interpreted Sasuke to be more than a little obsessive. I'm hoping I'm not OOC here, if maybe a little exaggerated. And Naruto was a little bit awful, but I'm not good at happy. I'm better at emotionless bastards, mostly because I'm an emotionless bitch, but we all know Sasuke's a ragingly emotional bastard no matter how hard he tries to repress it…unless he's raging obscenely or doing a Leeroy or doing something stupid. [Insert shameless request for reviews here]. Thanks for reading!**


	3. Happy for a While

**Buried Alive – Chapter 2: Happy for a While**

**A/N: I have returned once again! God, I'm updating this story like a beast! I am da boss! *gloat over*. So, new chapter, I thought it was time for a flashback, since childhood is so sweet ^^. Oh, and a note on the word 'Autumn'. It is what we English people like to call 'Fall', denoting the months September, October and November. Oh, and a quilt is a duvet. I'm just incredibly posh and like to use strange words (or words that to you are strange but to me are normal. Blame my parents.). And trousers are pants, but what I call pants Americans call underpants. Two songs for this chapter, one at the beginning and one at the end, our first song will be 'American Pie' by Don McLean, which if you do not know you obviously have no soul because everyone should know it, or at least know the chorus. It seems like a weird choice, but I think the first few lines really make sense for this chapter. Our second song is 'Why?' by Secondhand Serenade, a band I am eternally grateful to Harriet for introducing me to all those years ago (like three ~_~), which basically sums up everything. And it's depressing as hell, so it's very appropriate for possibly the biggest emo of the show and his massive childhood trauma. But we all love emos now don't we? *hides scars* Ahem, moving on…**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Not really any, this is still pretty PG rated right now. Although there will be incestuous yaoi lemons later, but not yet! Still early days, and I'm working up to it.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, guys. You all know that. Totally the property of Masashi Kishimoto, all I own is my word processing software license and my laptop and my plot. Flames are useless and pointless, and will only serve to amuse me. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_A long, long time ago_

_I can still remember_

_How that music_

_Used to make me smile_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_It was morning. The Sun shone bleakly through the clouds, piercing my curtains with a late-Autumn silver. The clouds weren't heavy, but they were clustering together to promise rain later in the day. Wind brushed the treetops back and forth, a few straggling leaves clinging on for dear life even though they were already dead. They'd fall eventually to join their brothers and sisters on the ground, some melting into the damp earth while others scuttled around the streets like plagues of rats. _

_But I didn't care. Today Nii-san had promised to train me, and I wouldn't let the weather get in the way of anything. _

_I threw back my quilt and rolled out of bed, scrambling to dress as quickly as possible so I could get downstairs and eat fast so I'd have more time to spend with Nii-san. Of course I wanted to train, but only so I could be as good as Nii-san and then maybe he'd smile and Father would tell me I would make a good ninja too. Nii-san didn't smile nearly enough, so it had been my duty for as long as I could remember to make him smile. _

_My feet were cold on the wooden floors as I walked ran down the corridor, down the stairs and through the living room, eyes scanning all the way for a glimpse of Nii-san._

"_Sasuke! Stop running in the house!" Father called from his study. I cringed a little at how loud I must have been; ninja aren't supposed to be loud, and I had to become a good ninja. I slowed down, feet barely making a sound. That was better. I crept across the room and into the kitchen. I looked around, spotting mother preparing something at the counter and a cup of steaming tea at the table, but not the person I wanted to see the most._

"_Mother, where's Nii-san?" I asked, wandering over to her. She shuffled a little but didn't look up from her cooking. _

"_I haven't seen him this morning, so he might still be in bed. Why don't you take that tea to him and wake him up?" She suggested, her voice calming the turmoil bubbling in my chest. I really wanted to spend today with him. I'd planned it and everything, like he'd told me to. We were going to go out to one of the training fields and he'd teach me how to throw shuriken better. Then we'd have lunch, and then-_

"_Alright!" I smiled, cutting my own worrying off. He just overslept, that's all. Don't worry over nothing. _

_Taking the warm cup, I walked back upstairs careful not to spill a drop. The steam was warm against my face as it rose, clouding my vision a little. What if Nii-san didn't want to train me today after all? What if he'd been sent on a mission and wouldn't be back until next week? What if he had to go to a meeting today? Yes, it was definitely steam clouding up my vision, because good ninja don't cry about such silly things. _

_I stopped outside Nii-san's bedroom door and knocked softly with my free hand. No-one answered._

_I knocked again, a little louder this time. Still no answer._

"_Nii-san? Are you awake yet?" I called, resting my head against the doorframe. _

_He wasn't there. He'd been called away and didn't tell me, and once again I wouldn't get to spend any time with him. It wasn't fair! I-_

"_Why are you crying, Otouto?" The door clicked open and Nii-san knelt down to take the tea from my shaking hand. He tilted my face up a little, taking in the streaks of tears that had crept down my face, moving a thumb to gently brush them away. Frowning a little, he scooped me up and carried me further into his room, shutting the door so Father wouldn't see him carry me like a baby. Father hated that. He set me gently down on the bed before retrieving his tea to sit down beside me. _

"_I-I-I thought you weren't going to train with me today," I sniffed, scrubbing my eyes with my fists. _

"_I promised I would, didn't I?" He ran his free hand up and down my arm, comforting me with his touch. I leaned in closer, resting against his side._

"_Yeah, but sometimes you get called away and I don't get to spend time with you," I looked away, feeling a little guilty over how petty I sounded. It would make sense if he didn't want to spend time with me. He was older than me, and probably had more important things to do, and I was just his kid brother. I wasn't that important. Feeling tears welling again, I let myself topple over so my head was buried in Nii-san's warm lap, fingers twisting in the soft cotton of the loose trousers he wore for training. A cold hand carded through my hair as I lay still. I could lie in Nii-san's lap forever. Just being close to him was enough._

_After a short silence, I heard Nii-san's teacup being set down and the hand pulled free of my hair. I wiggled my head a little, missing the cold feeling on my scalp. Instead, the hand relocated to my shoulder, pulling me upright. _

"_Do you want to eat before we train, Otouto?" Nii-san said, his hand never leaving my shoulder. I smiled widely, leaping up and heading for the door. "Oh, and your shirt is on back to front,"_

_I blushed a little, tugging at the hem of my shirt, pleading non-verbally for Nii-san to help. I liked it when he touched my skin. I didn't really understand why, but I liked feeling his hands against me. His face remained impassive, but his eyes twinkled a little with unheard laughter at my childish antics. He stood and pulled the shirt over my head, fingers tracing lightly up my sides leaving trails of goose bumps. _

"_I think you're old enough to dress yourself," His voice was a little warmer as he handed the shirt back to me. I smiled to myself; I'd made him happy. Whatever I had done had made my Nii-san happy, and that made me happy. _

_After scarfing down my plate of breakfast, and impatiently watching Nii-san eating his at a normal pace, I ran all the way to the training fields, shouting for Nii-san to catch me if he could. Of course, I knew he could without really trying, but that wasn't the point. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time, which was almost as good as holding his hand and walking the whole way there. I didn't feel his hand tapping my shoulder in the universal sign for 'gotcha' until I was two metres from the training grounds. _

_Then Nii-san watched me throw shuriken he produced from his weapons pouch, and then showed me how a proper ninja throws shuriken, then I raced off after them and handed them all back, giggling. He stood closely behind me, his body pressing against mine as he guided my arms into the correct position, drawing them back just enough before letting me snap them forward and throwing the star into the middle of the target. We completely forgot about lunch. I was too busy revelling in the fact my beloved Nii-san was right behind me, so close, all his attention focused on me. There were no distractions, no meetings to attend and no parents to tell me off for doing something wrong. It was just us, Nii-san staying in basically the same place while I ran back and forth collecting stray shuriken (all mine; his were all perfect), always retreating to the warmth of my brother's arms. _

_When we finished, the sky was getting darker with clouds and Nii-san insisted we get back before the rain fell. As he looked up, a single raindrop fell onto his cheek, running down it and dripping onto my head. I reached up to brush it away because ninja don't cry. I felt his cheek muscles twitch and almost smile at the touch of my fingers._

_We didn't make it home in time. Soaked through, we ran back through the forest hand in hand. I was wrong before; holding hands with Nii-san was definitely better. Despite the cold seeping through my skin and into my bones, I was warm and happy on the inside because I was holding his hand and we were running together. He'd kept his promise, and trained me all day, and I'd caught him nearly smiling several times. _

_And that made me happiest of all._

I woke up with a start, my face mouth hanging open slightly and my eyebrows drawn together to obliterate the last expression on my face. I wasn't eight anymore, I wasn't allowed to dream stuff like that. And when I did, I wasn't supposed to enjoy it. I was supposed to be disgusted by his traitorous face, wake up angry, feeling the driving determination stir within my chest to go and train that bit harder to kill the bastard.

Not wake up happier than I had in weeks.

I glanced at the clock on my bedside table. It was just past ten. I'd really overslept.

I felt too sick with myself to eat. Dressing sloppily with maybe a little too much force, I walked briskly outside towards the cemetery. If nothing else, I needed the reminder of what he did to stop myself feeling so-

Happy? A sneaky, defiant voice spoke from the back of my mind.

No. Definitely not happy. I wasn't allowed to be happy about things like that anymore. Acknowledging that that man made me happy meant letting myself remember all the lies he fed me, which made me feel-

_That searing pain where my heart used to be before he left me here to deal with stuff I was too young to handle and made my entire childhood feel like a lie and-_

No. Not that, either. I dug my fingernails into my palm, punishing myself for having such a pathetic thought.

I rounded the last corner and made my way quickly to my bench overlooking all the graves of all the people he made me bury. _That_ was why I wasn't allowed to feel happy or that other thing, because he murdered my clan. My own emotions didn't matter in the face of cold-blooded killing. I was just one person who really didn't matter compared to an entire clan.

I sat down heavily, letting my hands fall either side of me. One finger brushed something soft. I reached out and picked it up. It was another cloth twist, bigger than the one I had found yesterday, but wrapped in the same dark fabric. Not sensing anyone around me, I opened it out of curiosity. Shiny metal twinkled in the sunlight, polished silver peeking out through the cloth. Two small shuriken lay on the fabric, one slightly larger than the other. I pressed my finger to the edge, drawing blood. Not ornamental then, but oddly polished for weapons usually scrubbed dull. I picked them up, finger poking through the little hole in the centre, twisting them around my finger as I stared over the headstones.

It wasn't much, but it diverted my attention. And it was useful, too, maybe after sandpapering the faces.

Whoever left them for me to find knew me, knew I wouldn't want something generic or pointless. The shuriken was useful and the stone was interesting. They were clearly from the same person, having the same wrapping. Probably not a fangirl, who would stick around to watch me open them and be unable to contain her squeals of glee as the dreamy Uchiha Sasuke _touched_ her humble gift, and rumours would start the second she came into contact with another living being. Then would come the hordes of depressed girls, clamouring even harder for my attention to the point of assassinating the lucky girl whose gift I'd picked up. Sakura would probably take out a few herself.

Whoever it was had me in mind, and for some reason that made me happy.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Why do you do this to me?_

_Why do you do this so easily?_

_You make it hard to smile because_

_You make it hard to breathe_

_Why do you do this to me?_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Well, that was done quicker than I was expecting. See, I gave you a cute flashback of kiddies being cute. Do I get cookies for that? And on to the plot, yes, it clearly has something to do with the little gifts wrapped in dark ** cloth. And I gave you a taster of what's to come, minus any actual sexual stuff. Just touching, pressing, etc. I just literally today have gone back to school, so writing speed will probably slow down a bit. But I'll still update! You know what keeps me updating like a boss? Reviews! Heheh, I am so shameless…**


	4. Heaven Ain't Close

**Buried Alive – Chapter 3: Heaven Ain't Close**

**A/N: Instead of doing my English Lit reading or prepping for Biology, I'm writing the next instalment of Buried Alive. For you. I hope you appreciate this. Just kidding, I'm writing it for me too, and I appreciate it Anyway, the song of the chapter is Somebody Told Me by The Killers. Not my usual style, but I have reason! This chapter is half in third because it would be confusing otherwise. And it sort of makes sense when you think about it, heheh. I don't like switching point of view, but it's necessary. So, without further ado:**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: Not anything dodgy happening, give me time. I'm throwing a language warning out there for swearing, but nothing sexy. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, so don't try and sue me. I just had to buy a whole pile of books for school that I didn't expect I'd have to, so I'm broke again. However, a person who isn't broke and isn't in school is Masashi Kishimoto, the owner of Naruto, who could certainly afford all my books many times over.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I said Heaven ain't close in a place like this,_

_Bring it back down, bring it back down tonight,_

_Never thought I'd let a rumour ruin my moonlight._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

[Sasuke's point of view]

My early morning was uneventful. I had been barely able to sleep since I dreamed about my childhood, thoughts of my own smiling face and the smile in _his_ eyes keeping me awake into the early hours of the morning. I confess I was terrified of dreaming it again, or worse, dreaming something better. One dream I could maybe forgive myself for. A whole series of dreams was unforgiveable. So I didn't let myself dream. When I couldn't sleep, I would recite the official Konoha Ninja Code, over and over in my head until I practically passed out from boredom.

I didn't dream.

I didn't wake up each morning with a strange feeling in my stomach and a weight lifted from my chest. I didn't wake up with the remnants of smiles or tears on my face. And I certainly didn't wake up with that name on my lips.

As a result of not sleeping, I was exhausted, or as exhausted as any ninja was who lost a few hours sleep before routine training. The only good thing that came out of losing sleep was I could train on even more limited energy, making sparring with Naruto more interesting. Sparring with Sakura was barely worth lifting a finger; she wouldn't move to hurt me no matter what I did. Just watching a blush brighter than her hair snake across her cheeks and her lips curl up in a sickly sweet smile made me want to knock her out cold, or at the very least refuse to spar with her. If she wasn't going to be useful, she might as well go away.

Despite Kakashi's temporary absence, we met for training in the early afternoon. I arrived first, about an hour early. I had skipped lunch. I wasn't hungry. Sakura arrived second, at first looking a little dejected that she hadn't been able to be there first to greet me. She quickly recovered with a simpering apology for making me wait, and spent the twenty minutes we stood waiting for Naruto casting sideways glances at me, blushing whenever I bothered to look back. I was not in the mood for her. My feet were itching to walk away, to run through the forest until I collapsed and just lie there, still, away from petty annoyances like Sakura. And not-so-petty annoyances like my subconscious and its delusions about happiness.

After receiving the shuriken, I was a little apprehensive about returning to the cemetery. I hadn't let myself have a moment of peace to think in amongst the quiet headstones, which was why I was so early. I didn't want to think. If I gave myself too much time to think, I was sure my brain would track back to the dream, and then I'd have to process why I saw what I saw, why I felt what I felt, and why I was so-

"Sakura-chan! Sasuke-teme! I'm over here!" Naruto's voice called from a way back from the tree line. I chastised myself mentally; I was too preoccupied to notice his chakra signature moving towards me. "I'll race you to field five!" And then his signature was moving off towards the field, and my feet followed automatically, responding to his challenge. At least that wouldn't change; Naruto would always be an idiot.

Naruto was more of a challenge when I was sleep-deprived. One day made little difference; we were still fairly evenly matched, the advantage swapping between us as we ran through techniques in our minds and executed movements.

Or rather, I thought of techniques and executed movements. Naruto just charged at me headfirst with a dozen kagebunshins. His tactics were so predictable.

After two days, my brain wasn't working as fast, but I didn't make many mistakes. Naruto made far more with his lack of planning.

When the Sun began to set behind the treetops, Naruto picked himself up out of a small crater in the ground and I hauled myself out of a tree and we began the evening routine.

"No, Naruto." Sakura said firmly.

"But Sakura-chan! It's the last day we can go together before Kakashi-sensei comes back and we have to work harder!" Naruto whined, pouting. The cute effect was ruined by streaks of mud and dust and a tear in the shoulder of his jacket.

"All the more reason not to go. We should catch some beauty sleep before he comes back, so we're refreshed in the morning,"

"But if we look all refreshed he'll test us again!"

"The answer is still no, Naruto."

"But Sakura-chan, I-"

"Shut up, both of you," I snapped. "Look, Sakura's right. We need sleep before Kakashi comes back because he will probably want to make up for lost time, so unless you want to be tripping over your feet with tiredness tomorrow, I suggest we-"

"-All go out for ramen! Yay!" Naruto cut in. I glared at him. There was no way in hell that I was going to be conned into paying for however many hundreds of bowls of the disgusting stuff he wanted to cram into his face again. At least Sakura could pretend to be on a diet – I had no such excuse. Fortunately, I didn't really need one. I was always the second choice, and I had usually disappeared by then.

"Maybe if Sasuke-kun came..." Sakura said quietly, her eyes drifting over to me. I resisted the urge to turn around and walk away for the sheer sake of diplomacy.

"Yeah, that's a great idea! Then Sasuke can pay for all our food!"

"No way," I folded my arms across my chest.

"But Teme-"

"I also have to agree with Sakura on this one," another familiar voice said from above us. "Because if you don't all go home and get some rest, you're going to die tomorrow." Kakashi leapt down from a tree to land neatly in front of us. "Sakura, go home and eat a proper meal before you go to bed. Naruto, eat something other than ramen and go to bed. I expect you to be at full strength tomorrow. Sasuke, I'll walk you home. I want a word." He pulled the little orange book out of his weapons pouch and leaned against the tree.

Naruto groaned and departed, Sakura left with a little more grace. Good. Maybe now I could go home and do something to keep myself awake.

After the other two had got a suitable distance away, I started to walk slowly back to the road. Kakashi followed silently, eyes glued to the porn but still quietly observing me. I returned the favour. He was too clean to have just come from a mission; his uniform was straight, except for the odd twig. He'd probably been watching us train from the trees. I briefly wondered if he'd had a mission at all, and this was just some random test of responsibility. If it was, it was annoying.

"You don't need to walk me home," I said, eyes on the road.

"I think I do," the book went back in the pouch. Something serious was up if _Icha Icha_ was going away. "You're off. You haven't been sleeping or taking care of yourself while I've been gone, and you've been borderline depressive for a while. What's up?"

"Nothing's wrong. I just had a bit of trouble sleeping last night and the night before, but I'm fine. Don't concern yourself with my business," I picked up my pace. Stupid, prying, annoying, perceptive sensei. There was no way he'd let this lie.

"Fine. I'll drop it. Just pick your performance back up. That last attack was practically pre-genin standard."

"What do you-!" I whipped around to face empty space. Coward. Now I couldn't take my frustrations out on him. Well, at least he was off my back, for now at least. I could get home, shower, procrastinate, read, mope, clean, procrastinate more, and do other pointless things. Just so long as it wasn't sleeping. It may have been a little petulant, but now I wanted to sleep even less.

I took off at a run, reaching home quickly. Tonight was going to be incredibly dull.

***POINT OF VIEW CHANGE TO 3****RD*******

Kakashi followed Sasuke all the way to the Uchiha Compound. The majority of the journey was spent in trees, hiding his chakra the way only ex-ANBU could, occasionally gracing the ground when the trees were too thin or when it would have been too obvious to stay up there.

He reassured himself that it wasn't stalking. It was concern for his student. Sasuke was possibly one of the most unstable people he had ever met; the others were all either dead or were hastily retired from duty after seeing some extremely disturbing things. Everyone needed a rest, and they either found it in death or forced retirement. Sasuke had seen and been through more than most thirteen year olds should ever have to go through in their entire life, but retirement was not an option. Like he'd even accept it if it was offered. And he was too young to die.

After the massacre, he'd been damaged. The Third had done his best to fix it, providing him with all the psychological help he could ever want, but it was all refused. Sasuke was an Uchiha; he was too proud to accept the help. It meant admitting something was wrong, and that was always worse than the actual problem.

Naturally, working as a part of a team had helped. Kakashi had watched Naruto's constant happiness and optimism leak into Sasuke a little, and even Sakura's influence had been somewhat useful. In turn, Naruto and Sakura had matured with Sasuke's influence, although it was somewhat doubtful if Naruto would ever act like an adult. They had all grown up so much since that first survival training exercise.

Kakashi drew himself out of the memory and focused on his student again. Instead of entering his house, Sasuke continued on down the habitually empty street. He was so wrapped up on whatever was occupying his mind Kakashi was willing to leave the cover of the trees and risk the more exposed rooftops. After all, there was no one inside to complain about the noise. From his vantage point, he could see where Sasuke was heading – the open space covered in headstones. There was a tree large enough to conceal himself in. Moving cat-like across the roofs, he leapt into the trees. Sasuke didn't notice a thing.

He watched as Sasuke approached a bench situated a little way from the tree, and leaned down to pick up a small, dark parcel. A small smile crept across Sasuke's lips as his fingers fumbled with the wrapping, letting it fall to the floor to reveal its contents. A delicate cowry shell sat in the palm of his hand, the brown contrasting starkly against his pale skin. His fingers closed around the shell, and he sat on the bench.

For two and a half hours, Sasuke stayed on the bench. His face was blank and emotionless, but he was clearly deep in thought. His index finger would stroke across the top of the shell every few minutes. Kakashi resisted the urge to read. His student's lives were more important than his daily dose of porn, but they didn't have to know that.

When he did leave, the sky was pitch-black. Clouds obscured the stars and moon, though Kakashi knew it was waxing at the moment. As soon as Sasuke had gone back into his house, Kakashi dropped from the tree onto the floor next to the bench. He knelt to pick up the cloth. He risked a small illumination jutsu to get a better look, and almost dropped it in shock. A small section of red was woven into the corner, and although it was small the pattern was distinctive. It was the edge of a cloud. Only one organisation wore black with red clouds.

Akatsuki.

No, he couldn't make that assumption yet. He needed to do more research, establish whether Sasuke was in danger or not, form a plan, and tell the Hokage.

But it would explain why Sasuke was getting worse. Why he couldn't sleep. His brother was probably the worst thing for him, if he could ever hope to be nearly normal.

Ironically, at that moment Sasuke was lying on his sofa with a book over his face and fist closed around the cowry shell, happier than he had been all day.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yay, another chapter done. Please note that I don't like changing points of view, but I couldn't think of a decent way around it. I don't like writing in third person anyway. And I don't think I did too bad of a job. But next week, we get to meet someone really interesting, wink wink. Little bit later than I would have liked, but I just got a ton of work thrown at me, once literally, by my teachers. Sixth form is great! Please review, updates soon, bla bla. Thanks!**


	5. Imagine a Place

**Buried Alive – Chapter Four: Imagine a Place**

**A/N: New chapter yay! So, after the practically bipolar mood swings of last chapter, we get something a little more solid. And I get to play around with one of my favourite characters! You guessed it, this chapter is all about Itachi. It's also from his point of view, because I really hate third. Our songs of the chapter are 'A Promise' by Dead by April, which is pretty cool. I don't really have anything witty or amusing to say, so I'll just hand over the chapter... **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Possible swearing, and incest. Not full-blown sex or anything, just mentions of it. After all, this is an Uchihacest fic. If that makes you uncomfortable, don't read. If you are ridiculously young, also don't read. This fic is rated M for a reason, and it's not just because I felt like it.**

**Disclaimer: Clearly, I do not own Naruto or any associated products yadda yadda yadda. If I did, it definitely wouldn't be appropriate for its intended audience. Don't sue me.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I have lost the will to fly_

_With broken wings I can't even try_

_I have lost my belief_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

An assassination mission. It was nothing new, nothing I hadn't done before. Nothing any of us hadn't done before. Whatever our roots, we all completed our missions without a shred of remorse, some of us enjoying the fight, the kill, the aftermath or the opportunity to throw what we had at the target. I confess I was used to killing. It didn't affect me emotionally any more.

The first time it did. I stood over my first corpse, little more than a child, with the bloodied kunai hanging loosely from my fingertips. And then I was running, because there were others like the man I'd just killed chasing me, and I wouldn't let them catch me. I was prepared to kill again.

That was my attitude up to kill three hundred and ninety six. Then came the turn of my cousin, my best friend Shisui. It was nothing short of premeditated murder. I'd had everything planned for weeks; the exact method of the kill, how to make it look like a suicide, the faked note, how to react, what to tell my parents and the police and Shisui's parents and Sasuke.

The night after I murdered my best friend, I locked my bedroom door for the first time. I knew my mother had told Sasuke to give me some space, so I was guaranteed a night alone. I paced for hours, thinking about what I had done. Was it really my fault? Yes, it was. Although I had been pushed into doing it, I was still the one who struck the final blow; I was still the one who had gained from it. And what a gain it was.

At that thought, I let my mind slacken, letting the emotions ravage my body. I had been instructed that it was the emotional impact of killing your best friend that triggered the change, and I had held back the way only murderers can until the last possible moment. After all, the change was pretty hideous.

I sank to my knees, palms plastered over my eyes as they ached and burned inside my skull, Sharingan activating and deactivating sporadically, blood dripping between my fingers and running down my forearms. It was like nails digging into my eyeballs as the simple symbols of my Sharingan melded together to form the Mangekyou Sharingan.

Then the pain stopped. I pulled my hands away from my face, feeling the blood continue to drip down my cheeks in ghastly imitations of tears. They snaked into my open mouth as I stayed on the floor, shoulders slumped. Bitter iron, just like the cold metal of a weapon. Even my blood didn't lie; I was just a weapon.

My eyes continued to bleed for another four hours. I heard Sasuke outside my door several times, and I silently begged for him to knock, plead to let me in to comfort me. But there was no way I could let him see me like that. Although I could probably have told him anything and he would have believed me, but it would break my heart to abuse his trust.

It didn't break my heart to kill Shisui. Although it was cold-blooded murder on my part, it was necessary for the greater plan. If I didn't kill my best friend, I would never obtain the Mangekyou Sharingan, so I would be unable to show Sasuke every detail of the next murders I committed. For seventy two hours straight, we watched the members of our clan, every man, woman and child, fall under my blade. Being the prodigy I was, not even the clan heads stood a chance against me. I especially focused on the deaths of our parents. After all, they were supposed to be the ones we respected and loved the most. Not each other. A very small part of me hoped forcing Sasuke to watch the life drain from our mother's eyes would drain away his soul, and the child I loved would die with the rest of them. But he didn't. He was still trapped in there behind all the grief.

It was intensely foolish to hope something so fanciful. Which was why I fled into the arms of my new sensei, letting him take from me what he would in exchange for training my upgraded Sharingan. The first few lessons, where he taught me the torture technique I used on my beloved brother, went unpaid for until after I killed my clan. I had hoped that allowing my ancestor to strip away my virginity and the last of my naivety would make me forget, but it didn't. All I received was pain where there should have been pleasure, new ways to end lives, and membership in a notorious criminal organisation to provide me with as many victims as I could ever hope for to practise on.

My target for the mission was not a challenge. Yoshino Satori was the guardian of a small library of hidden forbidden scrolls near the border of the Land of Rivers and the Land of Fire. We had no specifics on which hidden village she was associated with, her strength or her fighting style. Kisame and I were to kill the guardian and retrieve the scrolls. We weren't told exactly what was in them, but it was fairly safe to assume they were unlikely to be vital to Akatsuki, considering the lack of security and location. It was probably overkill, sending two of us, but it was standard.

"You think this bitch will be fun to kill? I haven't had a real challenge for a while and Samehada is itching for some fresh blood," Kisame said from a tree slightly to the left of me.

"Hn." I replied, tucking my chin further into my cloak. Mindless babble.

Despite my apparent disinterest, it was sometimes comforting to have someone babble at me. It reminded me of Sasuke a little, although I often had the tendency to see him everywhere and in everyone. My dreams were full of him. It wasn't healthy, but it was no less healthy than his obsession with me. Any time I was in the Land of Fire I would detour to risk a glimpse of him. I may have done the unforgivable, but it didn't mean I was that much of a cold hearted monster. Even monsters want to watch their little brothers grow up.

I hadn't been disappointed. It seemed Madara knew of my obsession, and Kisame and I always managed to get missions in or around the Land of Fire. I wasn't about to complain, even if I felt a little uncomfortable knowing he knew. Whenever I infiltrated Konoha under cover of darkness to see Sasuke, it was worth it. At first, I watched him grieve, even though no one had ever taught him how. I watched him learn to survive on his own, cutting himself off emotionally from his classmates at the academy. I was there the night of his graduation. I got to watch his face lose some of its childish roundness, although it was still porcelain doll like in its perfection. His skin remained the same creamy white, his eyes as dark as coal, his hair was still blue in certain light and styled exactly the same. When I first saw his activated Sharingan, I smiled. He was getting taller with each passing year, his body growing toned with physical training, becoming more and more the objects of my dreams.

I wiped my mind of Sasuke's body as we approached the target's location. A small stone cottage was the facade of an underground library cut into the rock of the ground beneath it. Tall trees sheltered the house from the elements. The guardian's chakra signature wasn't hidden at all.

We slowed to approach the cottage from the front. Our hats covered our faces, also conveniently acting as sun visors. The Sun was uncomfortably bright, despite the month.

A woman emerged from the house, and dropped into a loose stance to defend the scrolls. She was tall, her hair pulled back from her face, which was set in a grimace. She clearly knew her odds.

"Show me your faces, Akatsuki cowards!" She called across the open space between us. A symbol for Tanigakure, the hidden village of the Land of River, was sewn across her shirt. Her voice was strong, high pitched and feminine, laced with the abandon of one waiting to fight to the death.

"Knew this one would be a bitch," Kisame grumbled. "Hats off or on?"

"Off. We might as well oblige her last request." I pulled off my hat and let it fall to the ground. Kisame threw his a little way behind us, where it snagged on a low shrub. The target's eyes widened a little as she identified us. The Land of River had few if any strong shinobi, but we were still clearly in their Bingo Book.

She charged. The fight lasted maybe three minutes maximum. Her water jutsu was good, but Kisame outclassed her easily. I barely lifted a finger, letting my partner enjoy his kill.

When her corpse lay cold on the ground, we entered the library, wary of any traps. Although there were a few, most of them were easily broken and passed through. The passages were cold and winding, leading past doorframes without doors. We passed what had been the guardian's room. A low bed with rumpled white sheets, and a desk covered in photographs of her family were the only furniture. The picture with the proudest frame was of the target holding a child's hand. The child looked almost like a smaller clone of her, looking up with wide, adoring eyes. I tore my eyes away from it. It looked like monsters weren't the only ones who cared for their siblings.

The scrolls were old, but we didn't look at their contents. We weren't going to risk Leader-sama's wrath over something trivial.

The trip back to a small hidden Akatsuki outpost within the borders of the Land of Fire took barely any time at all. I set the pace, anxious to get to the outpost. Konoha was within a good half a day's run, so I'd have the chance to watch Sasuke and drop him another small gift. Watching his first reaction, that tiny smile, had made me happier than I had been since I left. He had accepted my present, and although he didn't precisely know it was from me, he had accepted it all the same. I was constantly on the lookout for a new object to wrap up and leave for him. But it had to mean something. A fossil imprint of a leaf for Konoha, a pair of polished shuriken for two out-of-place living weapons, a cowry shell for the summers we spent at the lakes scraping dirt and algae off freshwater snails. Or at least that's what I thought of when I found them.

Leaving them for Sasuke was always a little challenge. The perimeter defence was a little thin around the Uchiha Compound; I ensured that much. It was just a matter of hiding my chakra and slipping past the guards over the wall. The Compound itself was uninhabited, save for Sasuke, who was easy to avoid. I could leave the gift with a summon as a deliverer, or I could leave it myself. I liked to be more personal, and deliver it personally. The knowledge that I was the last one to touch it was poetic.

But I didn't set out for Konoha yet. I didn't have anything to leave, and I didn't have time to observe for long without Kisame becoming overly suspicious. Nothing and no one would come between me and my visits.

I admit I was fairly despicable, stalking and desiring my brother as I did, but I was too far gone. Even monsters have their limits, and I'd crossed mine long ago.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Done! Review! Send me a line, anything will do!**


	6. Sleep Safely

**Buried Alive – Chapter Five: Sleep Safely**

**A/N: New chapter! Bla bla, song of the chapter is 'Kids in Love' which sums up the content of this chapter (and the first part of the story, really...) and because it's a pretty cute song. Oh, and it's by Mayday Parade, a band I can't get enough of ever. So my taste in music is kinda emo, so sue me. Oh, and it's applicable to both Itachi and Sasuke here. Take note of the lyrics I put in, they're relevant *wink*.Because no one reads these, I'll keep it short. Back to illegally cute kiddie Sasuke's point of view because no matter how interesting Itachi is to write, this story is more about Sasuke. Sorry!**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Kicking it up to M right now! No full lemons or anything, but since this is incest and the characters are definitely underage when it's happening, it's being rated M. **

**Disclaimer: Well, I own about twenty copies of the manga, a DVD box set and a Kakashi plushie, but I don't own the series. That's Masashi Kishimoto's. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Closed lips, she was never one to kiss and tell_

_Those trips in the summer never went so well_

_Young love is such dumb love_

_Call it what you want, it was still enough_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_The river water was cold around my legs. It reached over my knees and halfway up my thighs, but it was barely halfway up Nii-san's shins. The water was quite fast, and I clung to my brother for support. He would definitely catch me if I slipped._

"_Remind me what you wanted to find, Otouto?" Nii-san said patiently from above me. I looked up. The summer Sun was bright through the trees that bordered the river, shining through the trees to make a halo around his head. That made me smile. Nii-san really was an angel, after all._

"_I wanted to look for fossils by the river where there are lots of rocks. At the academy sensei told us how they were made and I really want to find one!" I paused, scanning the rocks under my feet, made wrinkly and wavy by the surface of the water. "But then I wanted to paddle, but I figure I can do both at the same time,"_

"_Silly Otouto," he said, bending down to pick up a hand of flat rocks from by his feet and handing them to me. I eagerly rifled through them, discarding each slimy stone when I didn't find what I was looking for. _

"_There aren't any here, Nii-san," I pouted, dropping the last rock back into the water to land with a splash, soaking my shirt. I pouted a little harder, quietly looking for Nii-san's guidance on the matter. He was a genius, after all._

"_Take your shirt off or you'll get a cold," fingers were tugging at the hem of my shirt before I could point out that it was summer, and suddenly Nii-san's hands were all over me. His fingers, chilled from the water, brushed over my sides and caressed my chest, leaving trails of shivers wherever he touched. I leaned back into his touch as one hand swept almost accidentally over a nipple. His head descended to rest his lips against the junction of my neck and shoulder, pressing very gently against me. One hand dipped lower, tracing over the edge of my shorts, then gently tracing the line of my thigh._

"_N-nii-san," I whimpered, reaching back for support. Instead, the hands left my chest and gripped my shoulders, spinning me around so we were face to face._

"_You're going to hate me for this one day, Otouto," Nii-san whispered before leaning down to capture my lips in a chaste kiss. We were frozen for a moment, eyes wide open and staring at each other too close to focus, so everything was a cream and black blur. His lips were warm on mine, just a brief contact of pink on pink before he pulled away, hands still on my shoulders. "Now. Let's find you a fossil."_

"Fuck it," I mumbled as I pulled myself back into consciousness. I was distinctly uncomfortable. I peered through the darkness at my alarm clock. 3:28am. Oh, joy.

There was no way in hell I was going back to sleep. I usually only dreamed when I had a really good night's sleep, so if I was dreaming during a regular night, then I just would go back to not sleeping at all. I'd manage somehow. After all, it was a realistic simulation of certain missions, not sleeping for days on end accompanied by physical and emotional stress.

But I wasn't going to think about that last dream. I had worked hard to block that day from my memory. I ripped the covers off me and stalked into the bathroom for an icy shower. Being _touched_ by that bastard didn't affect me one bit. It was just another reason to hate _him_.

Teeth chattering, I scrubbed at my scalp and body with my nails, erasing the lines I could still feel his fingers tracing. I wasn't innocent and eight anymore, I was thirteen. I knew what touches like that meant. Normal brothers don't borderline grope each other. And the recipient certainly doesn't get aroused, and if they did they'd go and shower to get rid of-

No. Absolutely not.

By the time I had finished with my shower, I was covered in red lines. Blood leaked from a few of them where my nails had cut deep, turning the water around them rust coloured for a second before washing away. Most of the deeper scratches were on my chest and stomach, were I could still feel _everything. _They would be covered by clothes easily, unlike one or two on my arms. I'd have to improvise. Getting pulled from missions and being housebound awaiting help from a shrink, who would ask me to talk through why I'd done what I'd done. That conversation would go well, especially once I let slip that I was having sex dreams about my own brother-

Didn't I just say I wasn't going there?

I towelled my hair dry again, using just a little too much force. The towel came away spotted with blood and covered in hairs I'd ripped free. I wasn't gentle on my body, either. Pain was a far preferable sensation to ridges of goosebumps, tingles and light breaths caressing my neck as hands trailed down to-

Damn, I'd need another shower if I kept that kind of thought up.

I had to take my mind off everything. I couldn't train because it was half three in the morning. I couldn't read a book without my mind wandering to _other_ _subjects_. I could probably recite the Ninja Code over and over again, but then I'd just fall asleep.

Walking briskly back into my room, the answer struck me. The stone with the leaf, the shuriken and the cowry shell were set on my bedside table. I would write a note to whoever was leaving them for me, asking to meet them. Whoever they were _thought_ and _cared. _Being jaded at thirteen was not healthy, and my mysterious gift-giver was cracking my wall. I wanted to see their face, to attach a name to the blank outline in my mind. To thank them.

I collected a pen and several blank pieces of paper, and sat on the floor to write.

How should it start? 'Dear sir/madam' was far too formal, as was 'to whom it may concern'. 'Hi' was horribly out of character. I experimented a little, scratching out failures and blotting out awkward words, until deciding I'd just write something vague on the top of the letter when I'd finished. Keeping it vague left it open for a little interpretation, and if anyone else found the letter they wouldn't think I was crazy.

Knuckling down, I started the body of the letter.

After four drafts, all annotated and littered with crossings out and mistakes, I settled on the final version. Impersonal enough, and direct. I wasn't about to spill my soul to a complete stranger on a piece of paper.

'Thank you for your presents. I greatly appreciate your gesture, and the subtlety of the objects has not been lost on me. I would like to meet you, face to face. Would you meet me at the bench in the cemetery? Please respond to this note.'

I didn't sign. They knew who I was.

I left the carefully folded note on the bench, and returned to my house.

I got more sleep that night than I did in the last few days combined. I didn't dream.

The next morning, I practically skipped to training. I had woken ridiculously early, a newly formed habit from waking up so early after my disturbing dreams, and arrived almost two hours early. But it was no matter, because I would receive a reply today. I was sure of it. I could feel it in my bones. I wasn't even annoyed when Sakura turned up to pester me, or when Naruto started jabbering inanely about pointless things. I admit I was a little irritated when Kakashi was late, but that was only a combination of Naruto and Sakura grating on my nerves for three quarters of an hour.

Training was fairly routine. Kakashi half-threatened, half-bribed Sakura into fighting me properly, which was almost interesting. I hadn't fought her properly before. But towards the end she kept pulling her punches, deliberately missing kicks and relying on the most basic jutsu. I easily defeated her when she stopped trying to damage me.

A mildly annoyed Kakashi let us go a little later, holding Sakura back for a moment to lecture her on appropriate responses to threats. Even gorgeous Uchiha-related ones.

I forced myself to walk home. Running would look anxious and suspicious, and I didn't need anyone on my trail. I took a different route, making sure Naruto wouldn't try to bug me on the way home, even if it took slightly longer. Rounding a final corner, I walked into the district. Only then did I let my pace pick up. I didn't bother going home for a shower. I strode towards the cemetery, eyes locked on a slip of paper resting where my own had been. I snatched it up and scanned it quickly.

'We should not meet. It is unsafe for both of us. It is out of concern for your safety that I choose not to reveal myself.'

My heart sunk. Had I honestly believed this character, who thrived on anonymity, would voluntarily meet me? Yes, and it had been a foolish misjudgement on my part.

I would have to catch them in the act.

I began to wander slowly through the graves towards the fence. If they wanted to drop me another present, they'd have to cross the fence somehow to get to the bench. A small part of my mind pointed out that they were unlikely to come immediately after rebuking my idea of meeting, but the other part ignored it. I was running on emotion, not logic.

I approached the base of the fence. It was a long stretch of brick and wood, stretching up towards the canopy of the trees beyond it. I had had some small shrubs planted around the base to try and disguise its defensive purpose, but it was still obviously an outer wall. The patrols would come by soon, hunting for intruders. But I'd make sure I was long gone by then.

Settling down near a low bush, I looked over the note again. What did they mean, 'dangerous'? Dangerous just for me, or dangerous for both of us? But if it was dangerous for both of us, why would they risk themselves in performing such a menial task? Maybe they had a method of delivering the gifts remotely. Maybe they were good enough to get past the chuunin wall guards. Maybe-

I cut myself off. There was no point in thinking too hard. I leaned my head back into the soft leaves, listening to the soft crinkling noise as they brushed and rubbed over each other. It was comforting the way a pillow was. I barely realised how tired I was.

I had the oddest dream where a man in a cape jumped down from the wall, pressed an object into my hand, and kissed my cheek before leaping back over the wall.

But when I woke up, there was another cloth-wrapped object in my palm, so it must not have been a dream. I could still feel the tingling pressure on my cheek, almost like what I felt all over from this morning when I was dreaming about-

I unwrapped the object. A polished black pebble lay almost indistinguishable from the cloth it was wrapped in. I closed my fist around the pebble. Now I had some kind of dreamy impression of what the person looked like.

I just had to wait.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: I'm not sure about this chapter, I think it moves too fast. I tried redrafting it, but not a whole lot goes on, and I didn't want to bore you with endless details of boring things. So, reviewers will receive internet chocolate, and they will also brighten my day. Do a good deed, and review!**


	7. This Damage

**Buried Alive – Chapter Six: This Damage**

**A/N: Six chapters in two weeks? I am the boss. Or not. I just have too much free time. Or actually, I don't, but I make free time by having no social life and skipping hanging out with my friends at school to get my prep done so I don't have to do it at home. I can literally talk at you for an hour about myocardial infraction and atheroma. I'm bloody interesting, no? So, because I'm kind of stuck for the song of the chapter, I'm going with 'Faint' by Linkin Park (or Lunken Prak, if anyone gets the obscure reference). You have to squint to see what angle I'm coming from here. Anyhow, let's get on with it, baby, yeah!**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: None. Back to just swearing. Nothing sexy. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own, bla bla. Flames will be used to heat my freezing bedroom. Masashi Kisimoto owns, not profiting, support the official release, et cetera.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I am what you never wanna say but I've never had a doubt_

_It's like no matter what I do I can't convince you for once just to hear me out_

_So I let go watching you turn your back like you always do_

_Face away and pretend that I'm not_

_But I'll be here 'cuz you're all that I've got_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

The mission was a complete waste of time. Nothing interesting was going to happen. It was guaranteed to be boring, slow, and pointless. Well, not pointless exactly, because some old lady was paying us to scout through the forest for a particular clump of trees that were some rare species used in some kind of vague old lady potion no one else cared about. Still, Konoha took her money and sent Team 7 out for the day.

The whole day. Stuck in a forest with a moron, a fangirl and our designated adult.

It could have been worse. It could have been a twenty four hour mission. Sharing a tent with a bright orange idiot who smells like sweat and ramen and sleep-rants about becoming Hokage and eating ramen is less than ideal. Sakura gets her own tent because she's a girl, and Kakashi gets one because he doesn't want to be kept up by Naruto's rambling all night.

We ran through the trees, moving closer to the supposed destination of the trees we were looking for. It had been seven hours already. We had to be close. Both Naruto and Sakura had already suggested just taking back any old leaf, and I had come close. But Kakashi had insisted. So we had to keep looking.

I let my mind wander a little to that odd half awake dream I'd had by the fence. The black figure standing over me, pressing the pebble the exact colour of my eyes into my hand and kissing my cheek. The pebble and my eyes couldn't be a coincidence. They had to have seen me up close to know exactly how dark my eyes were. Dark and shiny like tar, iris barely distinguishable from pupil-

"_Is our eye just one big pupil, Nii-san?"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, Otouto."_

My forehead prickled a little in the memory of the playful poke that followed that little exchange. I scratched at it roughly, replacing tingles and the soft impression of a finger with burning.

"Naruto, Sakura, I want you to scout the area directly to our East. Sasuke, come with me," Kakashi's bored voice came over the headsets we'd taken for the mission.

"Can't Sasuke-kun come with me instead, sensei?" Sakura whined, her voice too high pitched with the poor signal.

"No. Go now. Sasuke, wait where you are," I stopped on a tree branch, leaning against the trunk. Great. Time for a little heart to heart with my sensei over – what? I hadn't been overly depressed recently. I'd concealed my showering injuries well. I was even sleeping a little better. There wasn't really anything the matter.

_Except all these dreams you've been having, especially the more than slightly erotic ones, about your murderous bastard brother? Yeah, that's _certainly_ not been reflected in your mood._

I growled at myself a little, digging my fingers into my palm.

"Now, now, none of that. It's just me," Kakashi said, landing on the branch in front of me. "No need to look so angry."

"Can we just find this tree and get back to Konoha already?" I sighed. Anything to avoid another pep talk.

"I wanted a private word-" that much was obvious "-about the presents someone has been leaving you."

I froze. How did he know about that? No one ever entered the Uchiha Compound, so no one could have spotted me and told him. Had he been spying on me? Was I really that much of a terrible ninja that I let my guard slip so much? True, I had been letting my guard down when I was in the cemetery, but that wasn't an excuse. Damn. Damn.

"What presents?"

"Oh, just little objects wrapped up in bits of black cloth left in your burial ground. Left on your favourite bench, usually during the early evening or before dawn. Not worth much in value, but probably have some sentimental value. Ring a bell?" his voice was oddly flat, like he was reading from a report. It didn't do anything to pacify me.

"So what if I have? What is it to anyone else?" I crossed my arms tightly, my body language as defensive as my words. I couldn't help but be a little childish. The presents were the highlight of my day, and I wasn't about to let anyone ruin it.

"The likelihood is that the person leaving them is Itachi Uchiha." Kakashi's voice was deadly serious, his visible eye boring into mine.

"You're lying," I whispered. "You've got to be lying. There's no way that bastard would be so- Would do something so-"

"I retrieved one of the scraps of cloth and had it analysed. I called in a favour, got it confirmed. It was definitely from an Akatsuki cloak,"

"No."

"I traced a small amount of unknown chakra when I was investigating, with an almost identical signature to Itachi's,"

"No."

"Who else has motive to stalk you like this? No one else has a real grudge or real connection to you, much less the means and the motive. He's already inflicted massive trauma on you once, it isn't a stretch to say-"

"No! Shut up! I don't – I don't want to hear it. Just. Keep quiet for a minute,"

"You know I can't do that. You're my student; it's my job to keep you safe. And as a ninja of Konoha-"

"Fuck Konoha! Fuck Konoha and its fucking rules! I'm not about to give up my one source of happiness because it might be my bastard brother, based on some very flimsy evidence!"

"Calm down. Stop accepting the gifts. It's what he wants. Just ignore it, and come to me if you are contacted by him," he sighed, looking away for a moment. "I don't want to see you hurt, that's all. What kind of sensei would I be if I let my students get kidnapped and murdered under my nose?"

A pretty average one, considering we're ninja.

"Fine, I'll do what you want." _No, I won't._ "I want that bastard dead." _It can't be him_. "Konoha is my home, and I'll avenge my clan." _I wouldn't let it._

"Good," Kakashi said with an upturned eye, but I could see the doubt there. I'd just have to be careful. I wasn't giving up for anyone.

"We found the tree! And it's _tiny_!" Naruto's voice squeaked through the headset.

In silence, I followed Kakashi through the forest towards Naruto's location. I didn't dodge twigs like I should have, instead letting them scratch across my arms and legs and whip against my cheeks, letting the pain distract me from thinking straight. It's very hard to have an internal debate when you're in pain, and an internal debate would likely lead to crying on the floor. I had more dignity and more pride than that, and there was no way I would let anyone comfort me. I wouldn't let myself be weak like that.

I tried to think positively. Kakashi was just trying to protect me. It was natural. He was a kind of father figure, not that I'd ever really had a particularly good one, and he was my sensei. It wasn't hard to justify obeying him either. If it was a dangerous criminal trying to lure me out for whatever sinister reason, dying would seriously put a limit on my goals. As would be being kidnapped. I wasn't vital to Konoha, and I didn't really know any big or important secrets. I suppose my wealth might be attractive, if I sold all the property and all the furniture and emptied my accounts. I'd inherited all the money my clan had owned by default. It's not like there was anyone else to claim it.

Other than money, what was I worth? My eyes, I supposed. The Sharingan were deadly, and only three people in the world had them, only two of them naturally. As the weakest of all three – I repressed a shiver – I was the most obvious target.

Yes. That must be it. They must want my Sharingan, and were trying to woo me into handing my eyes over.

But then why would they refuse to meet me if I was handing them an opportunity to kidnap me on a silver platter? That didn't make sense at all.

I knew Kakashi would be watching over me now. That should have been comforting, having my ex-ANBU sensei looking out for me only on suspicion of danger, but it made me feel violated. Like he'd found out some kind of big secret and was abusing it. Technically, he had, although I had never made the gifts explicitly secret. I had just neglected to tell anyone about them. Either way, I would be under observation. I wouldn't have the chance to look for gifts, let alone accept them or write another note.

No. I'd be stuck in my lonely, empty house, looking out of the window at an empty sky with nothing but the sporadic wildlife and Kakashi's chakra signature on the edge of my conscious to keep my company. Maybe I could take up a new hobby? Knitting? Needlepoint? Writing poetry?

I'd have to stop going to the bench for a while. Just a while, just until Kakashi lets the whole thing go and I can be alone with my dead family again.

My chest grew tighter as I realised what I had agreed to. I knotted my hands into fists to keep them from shaking. My breathing became a little irregular, but barely noticeable with the fast pace of running. Had I really let it all affect me this much?

Yes, I had.

"Oi, Sasuke-teme! Kakashi-sensei! Over here!" I heard Naruto yell, only half registering. Good. Now I had something semi-normal to focus on. The mission. The old lady's trees. Then I could go home and do whatever it was I did before.

The trees, it transpired, were rare and did have some kind of medicinal property. Sakura said something about mild anaesthetics, but no one was really listening. Sparing the trees, we hacked off a few of the lower boughs and strapped two to each of our backs. We could have carried more, considering how small and light the branches were, but the trees didn't look like they could take too much more with the approaching winter. It was probably best just to leave them to regenerate their missing parts in peace.

I paid close attention to Naruto and Sakura's babble on the way back. I even let them talk me into eating ramen with them, and paying. Only Kakashi was a little suspicious, but I didn't care. As long as I didn't have to go back to the Compound for maybe an extra hour or two, I didn't care about anything.

I vaguely wondered if either of them would understand. We were the same age. We had attended the Academy together. We were on the same team. We were friends – at a stretch. But no. Our upbringings had all been different, our life experiences too different, our approaches to situations too different. Naruto would probably charge head first into whatever potential danger faced him and manage to survive through some miracle, and Sakura would probably just faint at the idea of someone as hot as my brother giving her presents.

Great. So I was back to thinking about sex. With possibly the most inappropriate person possible.

My life had gone from looking up to dropping off a cliff in a matter of hours. I just had to wait a little while. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, and all that. Or maybe I'd just forget it all, and I'd be back to normal in a week.

Whatever normal was.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Another chapter done in day! Not entirely happy with my dialogue, but that's just because I'm out of practise. Shit goes down and someone gets all emotional next time, so stay tuned! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, if I didn't message you back. I always appreciate it. **


	8. Keep Me in Your Memory

**Buried Alive - Chapter Seven: Keep Me in Your Memory**

**A/N: Another new chapter, another speedy update. I don't have much to jabber about today, so I'll cut to the chase. Both the title and the song of the chapter are from Linkin Park again, 'Leave Out All the Rest'. You'll see why. Pretty applicable to everything that happens in this story, actually. And depressing as fuck. Not really good for like, half my characters, since most of them are in dire need of therapy. But since there are no therapists, there's just me, and I love to inflict a good bit of torture! There is a reason angst fics are the best...heh...Forwards!**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Language, mentions of not-so-healthy feelings, Sasuke being emo, the standard. I have the juicy stuff planned out, but I have to get them there first! As much as I would like Itachi to jump out from behind a wall and pin Sasuke to it and fuck him half to death, it wouldn't make much sense contextually. Though it would be hot.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything Naruto-related, it's all Kishimoto's. I just make them do perverted things and screw around with their lives. But it's not in any way affiliated, so I'm not making money here. Damn.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I'm strong on the surface_

_Not all the way through_

_I've never been perfect_

_But neither have you_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I crawled into bed, dressed in cotton that felt soggy against my skin. My sheets were cold all the way through, and they didn't warm up no matter how much I turned. I couldn't find the right angle to rest my head at, or the right way to position my body, or how tight to wrap the quilt around me. I slowed my breathing, only to realise my eyes had been wide open, staring at the ceiling the whole time.

I wasn't going to be able to sleep at this rate.

I tossed the covers back, kicking them to the end of the bed with a tad too much malice. The cold air hit my body like a cold shower. Maybe my bed was warm. Maybe it was just me that was cold.

My feet were silent as I dragged myself into the bathroom, feet cold on the tiled floor. I gripped the sink tightly, head down, and turned on the water all the way up to hot. I let out a breath and plunged my hands under it, feeling the momentary chill-burn from the near boiling water, before yanking them out and scrubbing at my face. Then I did it again and again, until the water began to cool and my skin was pink and raw from the heat. I blinked a couple of drops of water out of my eyes and stared into the mirror. My skin was pink from the scrubbing and my eyes were pink from water that had got in them. I hated pink. My hair looked as dark as my pupils in the low light, the strands at the front plastered to my face. I looked like a mess.

Maybe if I looked like a mess, someone would do something. Anything.

_What, send you to a therapist? Have you locked up?_

But what was I expecting? Unless there was some way to reverse time, go back five years and stop the massacre from happening – _how? Kill him?_

I shivered involuntarily.

No. Just stop him. Lock him up for a while. Talk to him. Find out why.

I turned the cold tap on and stuck my head under it until water streamed over my open eyes and into my mouth, soaking through my hair and the back of my shirt. None of this was conducive to sleeping, which was what I had to do if I didn't want anything to happen. Normal teenagers sleep at night. They don't stay up and ponder things they can't change.

I let my feet fall more heavily returning to my room. Telling myself I would think about it in the morning, I drew the blankets around me comfortingly and slowed my breathing. The voice that wanted the debate was quiet, and I managed to sleep.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I woke up breathing hard, my gasps echoing around my bedroom. My fingers dug into my sheets, and I sat up. _

_I dreamed that Nii-san...that Nii-san-_

_I drew my knees up to my chest and rested my forehead on them as I let the tears roll down my cheeks. _

_It was just a dream. I hadn't really watched Nii-san die. I hadn't really seen anything like that. It was just in my head, just an illusion. _

_But it didn't stop it from hurting. I couldn't breathe through my sobs. I was too hot under the quilt. My chest contracted tightly, cutting off my air. My head and my heart lurched, remembering snippets of Nii-san falling to the floor, blood everywhere, and I couldn't do anything._

_I couldn't do _anything_._

_I had to see him. I had to make sure I had just dreamed that, and it wasn't some kind of horrible memory or premonition or something, and that Nii-san was in bed, sleeping, not dreaming of death and blood and being useless. _

_I couldn't stop the tears, but I got to my feet and shuffled out of my bedroom, not caring if I was being a bad ninja by making a noise. Nii-san was more important. I crossed the little stretch of corridor that separated us, and looked through the crack in his door. He always left it open for me, just in case._

_That settled it. Nii-san was alive and well, and I shouldn't disturb him. I should go back to bed and go back to sleep. I had to go to the Academy in the morning, and I had to get up. And Nii-san probably had something important to do. _

_My body overrode my brain, pushing open the door and shuffling into the room. Nii-san instantly stirred, turning to look at me with eyes I could barely see in the dark. _

"_You had a nightmare, Otouto," he whispered. _

"_Y-yes," I croaked, my throat thick from crying._

"_Come here," he slid over to the side of the bed, making room. I almost ran into the warm circle of his arms. Never too warm, never too cold. Always just perfect. I snuggled down beside him, nuzzling closer into his chest under the blankets. His arms drew a little tighter in response, and I sighed. His lips pressed once to the top of my head. "Sleep, Otouto."_

_I didn't dream of Nii-san dying that night. I didn't dream of it the next night, or the one after that, or the one after that. It was weeks before I dreamed something so horrible again, and Nii-san let me back into his bed for that one too. He never asked what they were about, and he didn't seem to mind letting me in. _

_And that made me happiest of all._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I woke up elated. Then intensely guilty.

I ripped the covers off and stormed across the hall into the forbidden room.

It was untouched. The bed was perfectly made, a spare weapons pouch rested on top of a dusty dresser, a full length mirror standing forlornly next to it. A window with the curtains pulled back let a little moonlight in. A pair of shoes rested next to the door. A small book rested next to an empty glass on the bedside table.

It could have been any anonymous room. But it _smelled like him._

My knees gave out. I slapped my palms to the floor, then balled them into fists and pressed them over my eyes.

"I don't fucking need you!" I hissed at nobody. "It's been five years, and I don't fucking need you anymore!"

I caught my reflection in the mirror. Something about the angle, something in the lighting, warped my appearance just enough so it was _him_ staring back at me. My stomach lurched, and I fell forwards. Instead of retching, I started sobbing. My breath caught in my throat, choking me like it did in my dream. But I couldn't lift my head because I'd see him again, and then I wouldn't be able to resist crawling into his bed and just lying there, surrounded by a pale imitation of his embrace for days until someone noticed I was missing and found me.

"Why do I still need you, you bastard?" I half-screamed, my voice thick with tears. I needed someone, something, to cling on to. I'd had the mysterious person giving me random gifts, and then that had been shattered. But I didn't feel as angry and betrayed by that as I should. Instead, I was disappointed.

_That he hadn't come back for me sooner._

"Fuck!" I yelled, fist colliding painfully with the cold bedroom floor. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!" I slammed my knuckles down, over and over, letting the pain comfort me. Yes. Pain was good, I didn't have to think about anything as long as there was pain.

_Yes, I do. Pain doesn't mean anything as long as I have him._

But I didn't have him, and it was killing me.

I pressed my fist into the floor one last time, holding it there for good measure, before letting myself keel over sideways. My shoulder landed awkwardly, but I didn't care. I just stayed there, eyes half focused and nose full of his smell, straightening out my emotions. I had to be normal tomorrow. If I wasn't, I was doomed to spend years in some kind of mental institution, or with constant supervision, or spill everything to a shrink who wouldn't help. I'd go crazy.

If I wasn't already crazy.

I was awakened from my trance-like state by a strange tapping on the window. I looked properly, my eyes bleary with unshed tears. A crow tapped the window pane with its beak three times before dropping a slip of paper onto the window sill and flying away.

Well, that pretty much confirmed everything. I roughly wiped my eyes, shoving away the remnants of tears, and walked slowly towards the window. If I accepted the note, it would mean something. I wasn't entirely sure what yet, but it had to mean something. My head wasn't working right yet.

I slid open the window, revelling in the cool breeze, and picked up the scrap of paper.

'The moon tree at midnight.'

If he thought I was actually going to-

Wait, the moon tree? Nostalgia snaked into my guts. We played there as kids. It was an old, dying tree a little way outside the wall, just a few minutes run from the very edge of the Compound. We were forbidden from going there because it was outside the protection of the village, but we went anyway. It was like a secret, special place. The moon shone directly through its branches.

A part of me hoped it had been torn down. Another part of me hoped it still stood. A third part of me hoped desperately Kakashi hadn't noticed anything odd last night, any chakra signatures, or had watched me cry my eyes out on the floor. That would be humiliating.

But now I had a full day to decide what I would do, complete with training, being bothered by my team, shaking off my sensei, and killing time. Although a part of me already knew what I was going to do.

I tried to justify it. It was just going to settle an old score, a part of my revenge, to finally get some kind of closure. The person I would meet was not the person in my dreams. They weren't the same teenager with the aged eyes who lived in this room that I'd spent the night in. The smell still caught me off guard a little.

I crumpled the note into a ball and left the room, carefully shutting the door behind me. If it weren't for the slip of paper, I'd forget all about last night. It would be just another night I erased from my memory. I'd had enough of those to last me a lifetime, but I knew I would have many, many more.

I burned the paper with matches. I didn't know why I owned matches, but it felt good to burn the paper manually, then wash the ash down the sink. I watched as the inky smudge wound its way down the drain into the sewers beyond with a kind of morbid fascination. Was that what I was doing? Letting myself wash away from one torture into another? I didn't know what would happen at the moon tree at midnight. I could demand a fight. I could fall down and weep.

Whatever would happen, I would go, the future be damned.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: It's emo time! And I can't believe I got this out in one day! I took a huge break in the middle to watch TV and try to finish off my sampler, but I managed to finish this too. The sampler isn't finished, by the way. It's been ten hours and it isn't done. Urgh my sewing speed is way too slow. Reviews make me a very happy bunny and a very speedy writer :3**


	9. World Stopped Turning

**Buried Alive – Chapter Eight: World Stopped Turning**

**A/N: What's the time, Mr. Wolf? It's yaoi time! Raaar! So, I'm updating like a boss again due to everyone's support I couldn't do it without you guys. Seriously. I have another Word document with the plot in, and there are seriously chapters where all I've put is, 'there is sex'. Seriously. Others are more detailed, and plotful. Although the sex is definitely plot related! I'm not the type for random screwing! The song of the chapter is 'Hearts Burst Into Fire' by Bullet for My Valentine, because I've used way too many Linkin Park songs now. In general, spontaneously combusting is not a good reaction when you see someone, but I can confirm right now that won't happen to Sasuke, as much as he might it to. I love Bullet for My Valentine far too much. Oh, alert for PoV switching, because unconscious characters can't narrate.**

_This is thinking/dreaming_.

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: Swearing, mild violence, not really much. No sex, consensual or otherwise. Although unadvisable decisions are made in this chapter, and I do not recommend you take Sasuke as a role model in life. **

**Disclaimer: Mashashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, and there is nothing I can do about it except fuck around with his idea and not make money from it. If I did own it, it would be hardcore and uncensored, like yaoi is supposed to be! No more pussyfooting around the pairings, dude! We all know most of the characters are as gay as the fourth of July!**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I'm coming home,_

_I've been gone for far too long_

_Do you remember me at all?_

I'm leaving

Have I fucked things up again?

I'm dreaming

Too much time without you spent.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**[Sasuke's point of view]**

I had survived training. I had survived Naruto's jabbering and Sakura's babbling. I had saved myself from another dinner of ramen. I had managed to pass the day somewhat normally.

Except I couldn't shake Kakashi off me. Nothing I said, no matter how many hints I dropped, no matter how explicitly and with as many expletives as possible, he wouldn't abandon his vigil. So I'd have to be fast.

I had put the lights on in my house and went about the usual routine, actions not too deliberate, but just enough to make the point that everything was normal. That I was normal. That I wasn't planning to meet with an S-class missing ninja, mass murderer and international criminal. I hid a set of normal clothes underneath my quilt so I could change without having to get out of bed. I had placed an extra trap on the back rooms, just in case.

But actually getting over the fence would be an entirely different kettle of fish. I had to coordinate myself so I didn't cross the border in a place that would alert the patrol while evading Kakashi's radar. I got the distinct feeling the second part would be harder.

I considered the options. A distraction would be good. Draw him away from the Compound, or even the one area of the Compound the wall was nearest, and slip away under cover of darkness. But I hadn't had time to prepare a decent distraction, and nothing short of Hokage's orders would stop him protecting his student. A more local distraction, like setting one of the houses on fire, was also out; I had no way of setting the fire without it being obvious deliberate arson, and if I suddenly looked like a suicidal pyromaniac I would be shipped off to a mental ward.

Tunnelling under the wall was out. Attacking Kakashi directly was out.

My best option was looking like doing a Naruto and just jumping over the wall and running, hoping Kakashi wouldn't catch me before I got to the moon tree. Regardless of how I pulled this off, it wasn't going to be one of my best strategies ever. If I'd had more time, maybe another day, I could have organised a distraction, or proved I was stable enough to be left alone, or even agreed to stay with Naruto or something to ensure my safety. A little more time, and I could have pulled it off flawlessly.

But I couldn't. It was ten minutes to midnight. Under my quilt, I squiggled out of my pyjamas and pulled on my proper clothes. I even put on my shoes, making a mental note to wash the sheets in the morning. I pocketed the kunai under my pillow and the three from under my bedside table. Even if I didn't actually use them, it would be comforting to be armed.

Wait, wait, wait. You're arming yourself with kunai to go and meet a ridiculously powerful criminal bastard? Why aren't you arming yourself with half the ninja of Konoha and watching them smash his stupid handsome face into the dirt?

Because, I replied to my somewhat annoying inner voice of reason, if I was crazy enough to agree to go and meet the bastard in the first place, I deserved to be unable to fend off whatever he could throw at me. It was natural selection in action. Although it's not like I particularly wanted to breed.

An uncomfortable sliver of uncertainness worked its way into my chest. I could tell if a girl was pretty, but I didn't want to have sex with her. But that didn't matter. If I was going to restore my clan, then I had to have a wife, regardless of whether I was attracted to her or not, and only the most beautiful woman would do. She'd have to be a great ninja, have accomplished many fascinating things in her life, be intelligent, speak little but with great meaning, have eyes as dark as coals and hair as soft as silk, be-

I very nearly got up to smack my head against a wall. I was sick. I deserved to be murdered for my own stupidity. If there were two Uchiha left, one who clearly wasn't breeding and one who was too stupid to live, then the line would die out with me. No more Sharingan. No more Uchiha.

Nine minutes to midnight. I slipped out of bed, letting my feet land a little heavier than I would have liked, and wandered towards the bathroom. Instead, I opened the door to the forbidden room. I steeled myself against the smell and the presence, and climbed out of the window.

Clinging to the window ledge, I let myself take a deep breath before dropping and sprinting towards the wall. Buildings shot by, trees and bushes and gardens merged into one streak of green as I propelled myself forwards. I smothered my chakra the best I could, although I hadn't really mastered it as well as I should have. I should have been undetectable. But if I was cut down here, then it wasn't anyone's fault but my own.

I vaguely felt Kakashi's chakra spike on the edge of my conscience, but I was just a little way from the wall now. Breaking my own rules, I leapt over the headstones of the cemetery, silently mouthing my apologies to those that lay beneath. I hoped they understood.

The wall loomed ahead of me, its wood and bricks suddenly seeming more like a mountain than a wall. I didn't slow. I felt suicidal as I ran headfirst towards the solid surface, waiting and wincing up to the very last second, bending my knees and springing upwards. I twisted in the air, gripping the top of the wall with my hands and vaulting over, giving myself an extra burst of speed. Kakashi's chakra spike melted away as I landed, still running.

I had done it. I had gotten out of Konoha without being caught. I suppressed a smirk.

Three minutes to midnight.

There was just enough time to get to the moon tree. I slowed my pace a little, still running on the addictive burst of adrenaline. Trees loomed like pillars of shadow, shed leaves crinkling under my shoes as I trod heavily. I wasn't bothering to be stealthy.

The escape plan didn't get this far. It was all, 'run, get over wall, run'. But then what? Did I just stand there and wait? Did I pace? Did I sit down? How would my body language be interpreted? Why the hell did I care what I did? More to the point, what the hell would actually happen? If _he _wanted to kill me, I wouldn't be able to stop him, though I would put up a bloody good fight. But if we just talked, what did I do? There was no way I was allowed to cry. Crying in front of him would be like giving a baby antelope to a hungry leopard to look after for a day. Especially if the baby antelope had three kunai in his pocket and was more likely to cut his own wrists than let the hungry leopard get to him like that.

Dying a dishonourable death is preferable to humiliation. I wouldn't let myself be humiliated by _him_ ever again.

The moon tree appeared through the scant foliage._ He_ was already there.

I approached cautiously, although I was pretty sure he already knew I was there. I bit the inside of my lip, then quickly let go again. I had let that nervous gesture go long ago. Around about the time he murdered my family. Yes, get angry. Just don't get nostalgic, or happy, or sad, or excited. Just feel the righteous fury.

But it didn't come. I walked numbly towards the figure by the tree, taking in the black cloak with the red clouds, the pale profile, the face half obscured by the collar of the cloak, the black hair pulled back. Taller than I remembered, but then, so was I.

The tree itself was collapsed and rotting. The moon was obscured by clouds.

"Forgive me for this, Otouto," a voice whispered in my ear, before something struck the back of my head and my vision faded to black. Hands caught me as I fell, and I felt warm. Perversely happy, I let myself sleep.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**[Itachi's point of view]**

"Forgive me for this, Otouto," I whispered, my strike connecting with the back of Sasuke's head. His legs began to fall out from under him, and I leaned forwards to catch him. I let us sink to the floor, my little brother in my arms for the first time in years. I let a small smile grace my lips, hidden beneath my high collar, as I ran my fingers through his hair. So soft, I wondered if it was still as comforting to him as it was all those years ago, or if it turned his stomach and made him reach for a kunai to slide through my throat.

I imagined he would say it was the second.

In many ways, it would be better for him to despise and hate me beyond reason. Rage was such an easy emotion to manipulate. I more than deserved his hatred, and I deserved to die on the end of his blade. I had given him every reason to hate me. I had taken away everything that he held dear, his family, his friends, and his chance at a normal life. I had also apparently taken away a section of his sanity, if he thought for some reason meeting me was in any way a good idea.

A highly irrational part of me hoped that he loved me. But that wouldn't make sense.

I picked him up and carried his limp body like a ragdoll. Once Konoha noticed Sasuke was missing, there would be a search party sent out, and I couldn't risk being caught. Being executed would really inhibit most of my plans, although it might appease Sasuke.

No, it wouldn't. He would want to kill me himself; the bastard who made him dependant on me for so many years then tore it all away.

If I hated him, it would make things so much easier. I could just rape him, slit his throat, and escape back to the safety of an Akatsuki base before anyone realised. But if I hated him, nothing would be worth it anymore. I would never have had the motivation to do what I did if I hadn't loved my brother so forcefully. I loved him as a brother, but I loved him _more_ than that.

Sasuke could love or hate me as much as he liked, but now, we were the same: tools in someone else's weapons pouch, and our lives wouldn't be our own for a long time. Weapons were only free once they were discarded, and we were far too useful for our own good. I learned that too late for my own sake and neglected it too long to save Sasuke.

And I hated that most of all.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: More chapter! With added action sequence! And added Itachi! My little brother very nearly found this story, since he thought it would be funny to hack my laptop files through our home network thing and post loads of My Little Pony things all through my files, then moved on to my documents, which are full of coursework and fanfiction. If he knew I was writing this stuff, I would be off to therapy. Again. Yaaay therapy...So, reviews make me a happy, fast-updating bunny, and actual interaction will happen next time! So stay tuned, drop me a line, and have some internet chocolate!**


	10. I Swear

**Buried Alive – Chapter Nine: I Swear**

**A/N: I'm still the boss! I'm actually writing this even though at this time (01:38am, Sunday morning) I haven't actually got any reviews. Or anything at all. Still, as we are coming up to the tenth chapter, I thought I would tease the crap out of you by telling you there will be a lemon in the next chapter! If you can guess who it's between, then you get the glory of being awesome. Lemons are something I will feel perpetually awkward writing, but they turn out okay. Basically, if I think it's hot I write it down and then go say ten Hail Mary's and recite the Creed in Latin because I'd never admit something like that in confession, even if that's what it's for...Song of the chapter is 'Take This To Heart' by Mayday Parade. I would have put an MCR song here, but I generally can't listen to it without crying because I'm just that lame. I actually cried at one of their concerts when they played it. It was really awkward... Oh, and this may get a little confusing, but in case you haven't twigged yet, when I refer to '**_**he**_**', I mean Itachi. Most of the time. Only if it isn't obvious, or if it's at the start of a section about him, or if he's just been introduced or something. Sorry if this isn't all that clear in this chapter!**

_This is thinking/dreaming_.

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Cursing, some implicit stuff, lemons next time. Oh, that will be so fun to write ;)**

**Disclaimer: Considering what's happening, it's pretty safe to assume I am not Masashi Kishimoto and I do not own Naruto. If I was profiting from this, I would probably mention it, but I'm not. The only way I'm profiting from this is the lovely reviews that make me happy **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

'_Cause I'm a mess and you know that I can't help it_

_The drive home never seemed this long before_

_Killing time just a little bit faster_

_And I swear we'll make it_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I woke up in a bed. I got a glimpse of an unfamiliar ceiling, then pressed my eye shut again, forcefully willing myself back into my own bed in my own home. Cracking one eye open, the ceiling was still the same. Without moving my head, I looked around a little. The bed I was on was pushed up against a wall, and there was no furniture except for a small table and chair against the opposite wall. There wasn't room for anything else. The walls were painted white, put had clearly seen better days. There were no windows, and the door was shut. It was pretty safe to assume it was locked.

So the bastard was dragging this out? Why not just kill me and have done with it? The longer I was alive, the more opportunities I had to escape and alert Konoha.

But what had I expected? This was the same man who had forced me to watch my parents die over and over again for three days in my own head, and then turned around and walked away. There was no way I would get a mercifully quick death.

I patted my pockets for the kunai. Gone.

I got up, my head spinning and the edges of my vision blurring, reminding me of my head wound. I wasn't about to do anything about it, though. If I died of some kind of aneurism, at least I would die by anyone's hands directly.

Wobbling across the room, I grasped the door handle. As predicted, it was locked. I held on to it for a second, knuckles whitening around the metal as I tried to steady myself. The room span around me, the walls at random angles that shifted every time I moved my eyes. I took a deep breath and launched myself at the bed, landing awkwardly on my side.

I heard footsteps approaching, deliberately loud. I struggled to sit up, to face my probable death with what dignity I could muster. I was an Uchiha; it was the least I could do. The door swung open silently, and _he _walked in.

The cloak was gone, leaving his body uncovered. I was a little surprised to see him wearing normal clothes. Then I mentally chastised myself; of course he wears normal clothes. Besides being a murdering bastard and criminal, he's a pretty normal guy. With the high collar gone, I got my first look at his face for five years. He took after Father, his features more masculine and defined than I remembered. The shadowy lines running from the inner corners of his eyes alongside his nose had grown more pronounced. His Sharingan were activated. I flinched a little, cursing silently for looking into his eyes.

"I have already captured you, Otouto. What would be the purpose of trapping you in a genjutsu as well?" I bristled a little at his words, but remained silent. Unless he was going to say something useful, I wasn't talking.

He pulled out the chair from the desk and sat gracefully, eyes fixed on me. His face remained perfectly emotionless, and I tried desperately to mirror it. I couldn't look anything but blankly impassive. As long as I was unarmed, I was pretty defenceless. I figured it wasn't suicide if I tried to fight back, considering my death was pretty much guaranteed.

"Don't you want to talk to me?" I narrowed my eyes. "About our parents, perhaps?" My fingers twitched into fists. "Surely you have something to say. You clearly haven't forgotten me,"

No, I hadn't. Especially when he was using the same tone of voice he used to talk to me in when I was doing something stupid as a child. A small burst of anger shot through me. Was I still just a kid? He honestly couldn't believe I wouldn't have to grow up a hell of a lot just to get by after he-

"'You cannot defeat what you do not understand'. How many years ago did I teach you that? Six? Seven?" His voice was soft, slightly nostalgic. Actually, it was eight, but I wasn't going to say it.

I wasn't going to say anything at all.

I bottled it all up. Every urge to stand up and punch some life into his face, to jump into his arms and nuzzle against his chest, to crawl onto his lap and just _sit there_, all locked away. Stupid, useless impulses. Not appropriate at all, considering I was doomed here.

"So you're going to be silent?" I didn't even dignify it with a nod. He paused for a moment, before standing up and replacing the chair. "I will be back in a few hours." As he turned to walk out of the door, I silently begged him to turn around and do something, anything that would provoke some kind of reaction in me. To turn around and throw a weapon, to threaten me, to tell me something I didn't expect, to _smile_.

_Gods, I wanted to see that smile again_.

Two hours passed uneventfully, the only break in my brooding being a tall man leaving food on my desk, briefly introducing himself as Kisame, my brother's partner, before leaving quickly. I didn't touch the food, half out of suspicion, half out of spite.

After another hour and a half, the door opened again. I sat up quickly, expecting _his _return, but it was someone I hadn't seen before. Not surprising, really; I didn't know how many people were in this building, and I certainly didn't know their names or faces. This man was wearing the black Akatsuki cloak, hiding his body shape, and an orange mask covered his face. I didn't have much to go on.

"Hello, Sasuke-kun," he said, tipping his head to the side a little. He walked further into the tiny room, bringing him closer to me. There was something off about this person, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Aren't you going to say 'hello' back?"

My silence spoke for itself.

"Alright, I'll introduce myself. I am Madara Uchiha, ancestor of the Uchiha clan, co-founder of Konohagakure, although I currently go by Tobi. You can call me Madara-sama when in private, but around other members of Akatsuki you should call me Tobi, Itachi excluded. Itachi knows very well who I am," his tone of voice was bizarre, switching between playfulness and arrogance and a strange insinuation. Combined with the uneasy feeling he gave off, I immediately didn't like this guy. "Still not talking? How about I tell you a little story about Itachi-kun?"

My eyes widened a little. Maybe he would tell me something useful, or let slip how to escape, or tell me how to defeat my brother. I lifted my head a little in consent.

"Well, five years ago, the Uchiha clan were planning a little uprising. Your father and all the other important people wanted more power for the clan, and, your brother being the prodigy he is, was allowed to listen in on the meetings. As an ANBU, he was duty-bound to inform the Hokage of this planned uprising. He was ordered by the village elders and the Hokage to kill every last man, woman and child in the Uchiha clan, but he begged to spare your little life. Meanwhile, he met me and I taught him a couple of neat tricks with his eyes, which he used on you to make you hate him so much. He killed the clan, traumatised you, then came running back to me and joined the Akatsuki. Was that a good story? Did that answer a couple of your questions about your Nii-san?" I flinched a little at the name, bottling everything he said away. I had to think, but I couldn't while his freaky aura was almost physically oppressing me. "Now, how about we-"

"Madara-sama!" _He_ burst through the door, his voice quiet but his urgency still leaked through.

"Oh, hello, Itachi-kun. I was just introducing myself to little Sasuke-kun, here. I can't believe you never told me how adorable your little brother was! He's much cuter than you, you know. I really think we could-"

"Madara-sama, could you please come with me for a moment?"

"That's the second time you've cut me off today, Itachi-kun, and you know how much I dislike being cut off,"

"I apologise, but I came to inform you that your presence is requested elsewhere,"

"Ah yes, I had almost forgotten about you, what with your delectable little brother here. Still, I suppose I shouldn't neglect my duties and I should collect my due," with a nod to me, he turned to my brother. "We should be off then. I'll see you later, Sasuke-kun!" He sing-songed.

I shivered. There was something dodgy about that man – Madara Uchiha, he said his name was. But that was impossible! He died years and years ago. There was no way that it was possible for him to be walking around. And what hold did he have over my brother? A strange feeling crept into my belly, one I vaguely recognised from my childhood. No, there was no way I was jealous of something as simple as that. It was probably just from refusing to eat. Probably.

If Madara was who he said he was, then there were three Uchiha left. And the only way someone could have that kind of authority over someone as strong as my brother was by being even more powerful. Could he have some weird way of keeping himself alive? What did he want with me? And was I really cute?

No, I wasn't cute. I was definitely male, therefore I couldn't be cute. I hadn't been cute since I was a little kid, and I hadn't been a kid for years.

If what Madara had said was true, then there was a reason for what_ he_ did. Instead of anger or tears, I felt relief. There was a reason, a real reason, other than just pure malice and the intent to harm. Of course it didn't excuse what he did, but there was a _reason. _It was like a weight was lifted from my chest. I wouldn't go as far to say it wasn't his fault, or to justify the murders, but at least there was a reason. Obeying orders was part of being a part of ANBU, and disobeying would be treason. In fact, it seemed cruel of the Hokage and elders to make an Uchiha wipe out his own clan.

Something new shifted inside me, a new flame of hatred. There was a reason, and that reason was an order. An order someone shouldn't have given.

I felt like I could honestly face Itachi for the first time in years.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: So, it's sex time next chapter! That will be fun to write. Kind of. I found it incredibly difficult to get anything vaguely resembling Madara's characterisation – how the hell do people do it? That's possibly one of the few things I would congratulate Kishimoto on, his ability to create villains that freak me out. Madara – creepy as hell, coming close in behind Orochimaru, who makes me want to crawl under a rock and hide. But seriously, writing Madara Uchiha is super duper hard. Tell me if I did okay, because I'm not so sure I got the character right. I tried a kind of playful/evil/dominant tri-polar type thing. Hell, I even went and read the Narutopedia wiki page on him. Urk, tell me if I did good or not reviews make my day!**


	11. Punish Me

**Buried Alive – Chapter 10: Punish Me**

**A/N: So, here it is. The first lemon of the fic. And I deeply apologise for it not being Ita/Sasu, in case you didn't get me heavily implying that last chapter. I tried to work on this immediately after I finished writing the last chapter, but visions of seriously creepy shit started running through my head and I found it really hard to write...didn't help that my dream was one long voyeuristic session of watching Madara do Itachi...and then being forced to think about it all through chemistry...then all through double biology...then all through my frees and lunch break...God, I'm so sick. But please, I know this is not the main pairing, and I'm very sorry if this freaks you the hell out or if it majorly squicks you. You can probably just skip a whole bunch of this chapter if you're not comfortable with it. Song of the chapter is Bestrafe Mich by Rammstein, because we're getting masochistic! The lyrics are translated by me :P because my German's good. Kinda. **

_This is thinking/dreaming_.

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: Graphic man-on-man sex. Mostly sorta consensual, technically a kind of prostitution/coercion. But dude, would you willingly have sex with your probably very insane ancestor? So if that freaks you the hell out, you can skip the sexy parts and you won't miss too much plot. Oh, and swearing. But that's the standard for this fic.**

**Disclaimer: At this point, it should be obvious that I do not in any way own Naruto because people are about to have sex, which we do not see in the actual series, manga or anime. I am not profiting from it. In fact, I think the distraction it provides actually made me work slightly less hard in class. But I love you all so much I did it anyway. Don't kill me!**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Your size makes me small_

_You may be my punisher_

_Your size makes him small_

_You may be my punisher_

_The Lord takes_

_The Lord gives_

_But he only gives_

_To those he loves_

_Punish me_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I practically begged him out of Sasuke's room. It was more than a little humiliating, but it was Sasuke. No one was allowed to touch him. Especially not this man.

I lead the way down the corridor, away from my little brother, and towards the living quarters for the members of Akatsuki. All the rooms were roughly the same size, each with their own shower room attached. Partners didn't have to share in this base. Whoever had constructed it had obviously had the forethought to separate partners; spending too much time with one person can drive you a little crazy. My door was the last one on the row, but the corridor seemed to shrink, brining me ever closer to my bedroom, to my penance.

"Anxious, are we?" Madara's voice cooed from behind me. I grit my teeth and remained impassive. Not even my great ancestor got to see my panic.

For a moment there, I felt utterly powerless. If he chose to take Sasuke, there was nothing I would be able to do about it. All I could do was draw him away, satisfy his desires myself, and try and keep him as far away from my brother as possible. I tried to pretend it was no great sacrifice, but it was. I_ hated_ this man, and I hated what he did to me. I hated that I let him touch me, that I let him see me at my weakest. But it was for Sasuke. It was all for Sasuke.

I opened the door, stepped over the threshold and held it open for him.

"Please come in, Madara-_sensei_," if my intentions weren't clear before, they were now. I only called him sensei when we were intimate. It seemed to encourage him.

My bedroom was as bare as Sasuke's. A bed, a desk and chair, and a wardrobe were the only furniture I kept. There had been a rug at one point, but it had been stained beyond repair when Madara took a liking to my pale skin against it one night. I never really liked it anyway. I had no pictures or paintings to decorate the plain walls.

After he had stepped a little deeper into the room, I fully turned my body to face away from him as I shut the door, displaying a kind of submission. I would never turn my back to him otherwise; one of three remaining Uchiha or not, I didn't trust him not to slip a knife between my ribs.

_I'm completely defenceless, sensei. Please..._

Gloved hands seized my wrists and pinned them above my head to the door. Holding them there like a vice, one hand snaked down to yank my head back by my ponytail. Lips descended on mine, hot and crushing, teeth biting and chewing roughly. It hurt. But I responded, moving my lips back against his subtly and gently, playing my role perfectly.

_Yes, sensei, even with all my power, you're still the greatest..._

The grip on my hair tightened, as did the hands around my wrists. I ground my body back against his, imitating an escape attempt. He pressed his hips hard into mine, and even through our clothes I could feel his desire. I parted my lips, feeling his tongue slip into my mouth, claiming every slick surface it touched. Running over my lips, my teeth, my gums, forcing my own tongue to submit. I licked back a little, playing the shy, inexperienced virgin. He liked that one.

_Oh sensei, I love it when you tongue-fuck me..._

The pace of his hips was getting faster, pressing my body into the door. I desperately prayed Kisame and the others were in another part of the building. The hand in my hair pulled my hair tie out, letting my black locks stream down my shoulders. Fingers tangled in it tightly, drawing my head back for another painful kiss. The hand around my wrists let go, trailing over my face, down my neck, over my chest and began to fiddle with the waistband of my trousers.

"I want to hear you moan for me, Ita-kun," Madara growled into my ear, breath hot against my overheated skin. My breathing was rapid from the kiss, and my body was reacting to him exactly the way he wanted it to.

His hand slipped into my trousers, a single finger tracing the line of my own hardening arousal. I let out a low moan, pressing forward into his hand. His own grinding sped up, and the hand left my hair to hold my hip tightly. I would have bruises in the morning. My hands slid down the wall as his fingers gripped me, slowly pumping. I didn't have to fake any moans as I silently cursed my own body for being so compliant.

_Please, sensei, more..._

His mouth latched onto my ear lobe, chewing a little too hard, perversely sending sparks of pleasure through my body. I tried to buck into his hand, speed him up, heat coiling through my body as I got closer and closer. For a second, I didn't care who he was, or who I was, it was just my body and his body, and there was nothing else. Just physical pleasure.

Then his hand left, and pulled my trousers down to my thighs.

"Please, the b-bed, sensei," I said, gasping for breath.

"Not a chance, Ita-kun. I'm going to take you against this door,"

One hand retreated briefly, before reappearing, slick with some kind of lubricant, at my entrance. I forced myself to relax, trying to control my breathing. His free hand fisted into my hair and pulled back painfully, forcing me to arch my back and push myself onto his fingers. I gasped at the sudden intrusion, feeling fingers forcing their way deeper and deeper, then pulling out, then pressing in. A third finger joined the other two, splaying apart and stretching me further. I longed for that old burn, the proof I wasn't used to any penetration, but it was long gone. I hadn't felt it since I was fourteen. The fingers hooked, and probed a little, brushing against a spot that sent waves of intense pleasure through my body, making me push back against the invading digits to find it again. Through half-lidded eyes, I watched my body fuck itself on his fingers.

_I'm ready for you, sensei, whenever you want me..._

"Enough," he said roughly, pulling his fingers out and pushing his own trousers down a little. His member stood to attention, swollen and flushed, ready to fill me. He wasted no time, rubbing the remnants of the lube up and down himself, wasting no time. Other times, he'd made me get on my knees and suck him off, or held my hair and fucked my mouth. He liked to hold my hair. He quickly positioned himself and began pressing in, drawing a long keen from my lips. In a final thrust he was fully inside me. It didn't hurt anymore, like it did at first, but it was never a feeling I wanted to get used to. Being abused like this made me forget, and forget was something I wasn't allowed to do.

Without waiting for my consent, he pulled back and thrust in, brushing over the spot inside me that made me dizzy with pleasure. I restrained my moans, biting into my lip. He thrust harder and harder each time, our skin slapping together, until I wasn't able to contain myself and I was almost screaming.

"Sensei...!" I gasped, the hand in my hair pulling my head right back. I was so close, my own hips jerking back erratically to meet his, my mouth wide and breathing fast. I looked the perfect picture of wanton desire. One final thrust brought me to completion, and I stifled a yell, spilling myself over the wood of the door, leaving a small reminder for what we did even after I cleaned up. The psychological impact was always greater than the physical, a fact I knew all too well.

Madara didn't stop. I purposely tightened my muscles around him, trying to force his orgasm or at least speed him up. My body was over-sensitised from my recent climax, and the movement of his member inside me was making me harden again. I fucked myself back onto him, letting a small groan escape me. Finally, he released. I felt his seed fill me as he forced himself to be still for a moment, claiming me from the inside.

"Sasuke will join Akatsuki, and he will join you and Kisame in the capture of the Kyuubi. You will train him in advanced techniques with the Sharingan. He will become a part of my organisation, and you will assist me in making it so. Are my orders clear?" He whispered into my ear, pulling on my hair for emphasis.

"Y-yes, Madara-sama," I said, my voice weak.

"Good. I'll see you later, Itachi-kun," He released my hair and let me drop to the floor. I crawled out of the way of the door and collapsed against the wall, letting the self-loathing commence.

Once again, I swore I would never let him take me, and once again, I had let him without any resistance. I had no excuse for enjoying it. I wasn't supposed to like it. But I did. My own body betrayed my heart and my head, yielding to his dominance. At first, it was payment for his training. I was still paying. And now, it was to keep him away from Sasuke. Perfectly justified.

I stayed slumped there for another ten minutes, before picking myself up and cleaning the door and changing. I brushed my hair, but it never felt the same after he had had his hands in it. I felt soiled, impure, even though I didn't have a right to because I had initiated it.

I hoped Sasuke could forgive me for this, because I couldn't.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Itachi, you whore! Arg, I feel violated! Dude, it's not often that I feel like I could get off on my own writing, but the combination of hair, masochism and certain things makes this horribly appealing to me...Uh...I think I need to go lie down...or have a stiff drink. Tell me if you want to shoot me, hug me, or pass me the vodka. In a review! Reviewers get their choice of free gift: smelling salts, a bottle of vodka, or brain bleach. Thanks ^^**


	12. You Know Me

**Buried Alive – Chapter 11: You Know Me**

**A/N: My laptop is up the creek, but luckily for all of us I've got access to the clunkiest and crappiest computer ever as a backup, so after using my super slick (word ruined FOREVER) and smoothest laptop ever with a sexy widescreen this seems epicly lame. Still, we all get our dose of Buried Alive, so it's all good :D Glad to know everyone enjoyed/was freaked out by the lemon last chapter. Just for the record, I spent six hours sewing a bible verse as penance (another word I have ruined for myself FOREVER) into a tiny sampler for a friend as a gift. I believe it was, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it", which is part of Psalm 118. I am a good little Catholic girl really (well, not good, but I am Catholic). No sex for a while now but we're back to focusing on the main pairing! Yay! Song of the chapter is 'Don't Wanna Think About You' by Simple Plan. For obvious reasons. You'll see ^^.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warnings: The lemon's over, so we're back to the obligatory swearing. Sorry guys, nothing juicy for a while. If you skipped the lemon, you didn't miss too much, but if you did I recommend skipping right to the bottom of the last chapter for the final bit of dialogue. It's relevant.**

**Disclaimer: *Sigh* Don't own Naruto, and I don't own any of the guys…I just make them do whatever I want…heheheh…and then post it to the internet for everyone to see. I'm not making any money off this, and the only reward I'm getting is all of your lovely feedback.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I don't wanna think about you_

_Think about me_

_Don't wanna figure this out_

_I don't wanna think about you_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I was getting to be an expert at bottling. Not bottling liquids, although some alcohol might be useful at some point. Bottling emotions. Instead of feeling the intense anger, betrayal, sadness, uncertainty and shock that I should have felt, I stored it all in the 'do not go there' part of my mind. It was the same part where I kept the visions of my parents' death. It was nicely and safely locked away behind mental barriers that were starting to crack under pressure.

First, I thought I should feel angry. This Madara person had to be lying about something. Was I honestly supposed to believe he was my ancestor? I couldn't even confirm whether he was an Uchiha based on our physical traits or Sharingan, since he wore a mask. The power he held over my brother was uncanny – no one I remembered from our childhood had ever held that kind of respectful sway over him, and fewer still had elicited some kind of panic from him.

What exactly was that, when he was trying to pull Madara out of the room? Why would he want the man away from me? Was Madara really needed elsewhere, or was it a lie? If it was a lie, what price would Itachi pay?

I rolled my eyes at myself. Why did I care all of a sudden about _him_?

Something had snapped when I'd heard the story. Until I had a direct confirmation from Itachi himself, I wouldn't believe it. But I could think of my brother as Itachi again, not just a nameless face I associated pain and perverse longing with. It was like a weight lifted off my chest. I hadn't even _thought_ of him as Itachi for years.

I was supposed to feel betrayed, if the story was anything to go on. It was Konoha to blame, not my brother. He was under orders, and ANBU don't disobey orders. Death is better than refusing to carry out a mission, and being directly ordered to kill every Uchiha would have been the only way to force him to obey.

Then why did he spare me if he was going to abandon me? He might as well just have killed me, rather than leave me to an empty house, stained in blood and memories. That was the one emotion I couldn't bottle up because I had been bottling it up for years, and it was overflowing.

Then there was uncertainty. If I had been lied to about the motives behind the murders for so many years, what else had Konoha been withholding? There had been many opportunities to tell me, make my life a little easier. Who decided it was a good idea to heap so much grief, so much responsibility, on a newly very fragile child? I hoped they were dead, whoever they were.

"Otouto," Itachi's voice spoke quietly from across the small room. I jumped, a little irritated at myself that I hadn't noticed his entrance. I looked up, looking into his face, looking for any signs of what might have happened in the time he was gone, but his face was blank and impassive once again.

"I still hate you," I said. I mustered every piece of hatred I had felt over the last five years and summoned it into my eyes. I felt my Sharingan flare, but I suppressed it. I wasn't about to start a fight, or at least start a physical one. Instead, I felt compelled to force emotion out of my brother, to bring back some of what I saw in that moment of frantic apology when he drew Madara from the room before. "Tell me what happened. Madara told me a story, and I want to know if it's true."

"What he told you was true,"

"I want to hear it from you,"

"No, you don't. You don't need to hear it from me. You just want an excuse to stop talking to me, to dig yourself a little deeper into your hatred," He paused, considering something I couldn't fathom. "It won't work. Hatred will get you nowhere unless you can take action." A fleeting regret passed his face, but it was quickly swept away.

"Fine. But were you ordered to do it?"

"Yes."

"Did you beg to spare my life?" I could scarcely imagine Itachi on his knees in front of the elders and the Hokage, speaking in pleading, respectful tones. It was such a wrong image on so many levels.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because you're my precious little brother."

"Then why did you leave me?" I didn't mean to say that. I didn't mean to say it with such emotion, either. It was like the bottle cracked, and all the pain at being abandoned for so long came rushing out in one sentence. Five years flashed before my eyes; making funeral arrangements for every single member of my clan save two, even though I had never been taught how, forcing myself to set foot in houses still stained with blood to retrieve scrolls or valuables, graduating from the academy with no one to greet me at the gates, going home alone, cooking alone, cleaning alone, living alone, _being_ alone.

I was always alone.

I took a deep breath, waiting for his answer. He had paused, watching my inner turmoil with a kind of examining yet knowing look in his eyes, even through his activated Sharingan.

"Because I joined Akatsuki after I left. I could hardly raise you in that environment,"

"I could have gotten used to it. You would have shielded me from the worst," The pain crept back in, slipping through my shaky control.

"I had already shown you the worst,"

"And I'm still alive, still sane,"

"We're both damaged," It was undeniable; we were both damaged beyond repair. If I had stayed with Itachi, would I have broken completely? Would we have stabilised each other? No, there had to be other reasons. Other reasons why, though I was supposedly so precious, I was worth nothing in the face of escape.

"You could have fixed me," It was a lie, and I was almost certain he knew it, too. "Stuck the broken pieces back together. I wouldn't have cared how when I was eight."

"You wouldn't have learned not to depend on me if I hadn't left you. You've grown into a strong young man, you've proved you can survive on your own, and you have been doing so since you were just a child. You went from complete dependence on your Nii-san to independence overnight."

There was a pause. We just stared at each other, eyes to eyes, bloody Sharingan to jet black. He hadn't changed as much as I had hoped. Some small, childish part of me had hoped he had grown an extra set of arms and a tail. An even more childish part, but the part that seemed to dominate me, saw him exactly as he was, a thirteen year old with eyes that were too old that never smiled. But here he was, older. Taller. More mature.

I was different, too. I was also taller and more mature. I had got my Sharingan. I was a genin. But in my head, the most childish part retained a tiny body, huge eyes and hands that clung to their Nii-san at every opportunity, only to be gently pried away by patient fingers and told that proper ninja don't do that kind of thing.

Yes, we were different, but we were painfully the same. He had few words, and I had questions. The type of question and response had changed, but the foundation was still all there. I still wanted to crawl into his lap, let him run his fingers through my hair and over my sides, innocent of everything but us.

But we were hardly innocent. Or at least, I was innocent. Itachi had been exposed to death and violence for much longer, and much younger than I had. He knew what we were doing was wrong, but he didn't stop us. I had let myself enjoy it.

The silence stretched on a little, becoming more and more comfortable as we sat and analysed. There was little tension, only our words held tension. That was why the silence was so comforting. I didn't have to think, to assess, when we were quiet, but I had to. Not wanting to do something never stopped me before.

"Our relationship was never healthy, when we were younger," I broke the silence.

"I won't deny it," The touches, the kisses, the presence, the atmosphere, the words, they were there, burned into my memory, recalled only in dreams and when my mind was at its weakest. They were in another section of my mind, the 'please don't go there, please' section, because every time I thought of it I felt intensely uncomfortable.

"Then why did you…?" I couldn't say it out loud. It was taboo, not only two men together, but two _boys_, blood related boys at that. It wasn't a law, but it was an unspoken rule, as black and white as murder. If you did it, you were dead. Maybe not literally, but socially. And Itachi and I had come short of committing the ultimate sin.

"Because we were never normal brothers,"

"That's not a good reason. I was too young to know what you were doing,"

"But you never resisted me,"

"I was eight. I didn't know what you were doing,"

"But you haven't been able to stop thinking about it in years. Don't lie. I haven't, either." No. There was no way I would think about _that_, and there was no way he would think about _that_. Because it was wrong. Because it was the stuff of my nightmares. He was older, he should have known better, but it still happened.

"I still hate you," I echoed, at a loss for what to say. "I think I understand you better, but I still hate you,"

"You don't hate me, Otouto. You wouldn't be empathising with me, or understanding my motives, or even talking to me if you did,"

"That isn't evidence! You can't assume that!"

"Yes, I can. I know you."

"No, you don't."

It angered me to know I was so easily read. My protests felt futile, even to me. We had grown, but we were still the same.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Exhausted! Wrote this flat out, and it is kind of a little bit not so interesting, just establishing some boundaries, before we really kick off next chapter. Shit gets real next chapter. Oh, and for the record, there will be no sex in the next chapter. I'm just reiterating this. Sasuke still isn't too keen (or won't admit it, really) on Itachi right now. Bla bla bla review!**


	13. Watch Me Fall

**Buried Alive – Chapter 12: Watch Me Fall**

**A/N: Hooray! More Buried Alive for you to read! I am the boss at updating! It's what, one a day now? I'm basically just ploughing through my school work, then ploughing through my prep, having a nap, then writing this. Except today, I haven't had a nap yet so my typing speed is reduced by my shaking wrists. But no worries, it's all for a worthy cause: The pursuit of delicious Uchihacest. This chapter's song is 'I Caught Fire (in Your Eyes)' by The Used, mostly for the second part ^^**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: No sex, no drugs, just violence and language. And I apologise to everyone in advance – I do martial arts (tae kwon do) and therefore, if the weird language of TKD starts to leak into the story, I am sorry. Because it's weird. Obviously I'm not about to put a whole bunch of Korean in here, but just in case! I don't think it's too bad, but just in case.**

**Disclaimer: Ooh, new thing to not claim ownership of! I don't own Tae Kwon Do, because it was definitely not invented by me (it was started by General Choi Hong Hi in 1955…my instructor makes us recite it after every class…) and I'm not that great. Blue belt in two and a half years isn't exceptional. I still don't own Naruto, and I'm not making any money off you or anyone else by writing and posting this to this site. Yay.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Could we dim the sun_

_And wonder where we've been_

_Maybe you and me_

_So kiss me like you did_

_My heart stopped beating_

_Such a softer sin..._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

Every movement was sleek and precise. Not a single ripple of muscle or sweep of an arm was wasted. When he leapt, he soared through the air like a magnificent bird, and landed as soft as a cat. When at first he wore the cloak, it fanned out behind him like a pair of wings, but I liked it better when the cloak fell to the floor, discarded. Without the cloak I could see every muscle twitch beneath the surface of his flawless skin, see the lines he drew with his body, blurring in and out of my vision.

And then he was behind me, and I didn't think to move. It was like a dance, but I had forgotten the steps. My arm was twisted painfully behind my back and a tensed palm was ready to strike at my throat.

"Again," Itachi's voice was calm in my ear. There was no indication he had been doing something so strenuous, no trace of fatigue or weariness. No sweat clung to his hairline, like it did to mine. His hands didn't shake, half with anticipation, half with genuine fear. No. We were worlds apart.

He took his position a few paces across from me. The clearing we were training in was close to a small village, where we had relocated for a short period of training. The inn and the village tolerated ninja, didn't discriminate between one headband and the next, and didn't know enough about the ninja world to identify what the black cloak with red clouds meant. The clearing, like the surrounding area, was bland with occasional uprisings of life on the borders. A few yellow flowers peeked up through the grass, tentatively reaching towards what sunlight they could find. The surrounding trees weren't as dense as the forest around Konoha, letting light filter through in uneven patches. The leaflitter left a patchwork of browns and golds where the Autumn leaves had yet to rot away.

I tensed. There was nowhere to run for cover in this clearing. Itachi could do serious damage to me if he tried, but I was pretty sure he wouldn't.

He launched himself at me again, making the first move when I didn't. I jumped to the side, not half as graceful as him, dropping into a low crouch to avoid a sweeping kick that just missed grazing the top of my head. Using that momentum, another kick I could barely dodge swung inches from my nose. I threw myself backwards, then feinted forwards, throwing a punch with no real power to bring a kick aimed at his back. By the time I had realised I had missed, he was behind me with an arm around my throat.

"Again," he said, his deep voice echoing through the air. He turned his back to me as he paced away, hair swinging gently in the breeze. I was tempted to attack while his back was turned, but that was cowardly. I would prove I was not a coward.

This time, I propelled myself forward as he took his place, brining in my arm to strike at his head. He dodged, bringing his leg up at an impossible angle to block the strike and knock my head under my chin. My head snapped back painfully, and I tasted blood. Letting myself fall to the ground, I poked around with my tongue; I had bitten through a part of my lip.

"Let me see, Otouto," he crouched down beside me, his hand moving slowly towards my face.

"No, no, it's nothing. We can keep going," I jerked back, a little afraid of his touch. The fighting was okay; it was almost good to feel his fist raised against mine, but casual or caring touches sent shivers down my spine. It wasn't a feeling I could get used to.

"Alright. Once more, then we'll return to the inn. It's getting dark." It was just an excuse. His normally blank eyes were tinted with concern. It was ironic that he cared so little when inflicting damage on me when I was a child, but was worried enough for it to manifest in his eyes five years later. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I took my position, and he took his. He flew at me, and I dodged at the last minute. He landed in a crouch, rising smoothly to his feet to move silently towards me. He was like a phantom, a ghost moving across the ground. His feet barely seemed to touch the grass. I threw a punch towards his gut, and he recoiled back, turning on the spot to sweep over my head with a spinning kick. I ducked, and kicked his leg out from under him, but he recovered quickly, rolling and rising again before appearing behind me to wrap one arm around my throat and another around my waist.

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, slumping a little against him. I was more tired than I thought. The knowledge that our bodies were pressed together sent a small jolt of electricity through my body, but I repressed it. It was nothing. Just more training.

We walked in silence back to the inn on the outskirts of the village. Itachi had donned his cloak, and I stood next to him, refusing to trail like a lost puppy despite the obvious association people would make if either of us were recognised.

The woman at the inn desk didn't give us a second glance. She mumbled something about funny types coming through the village more often, and handed us a room key, announcing that breakfast would be available until mid morning. A small gathering of villagers sat around a fireplace towards the back of the ground floor, glasses and bottles in hand, quickly returning to their gossiping once the innkeeper finished with us.

The trek up the stairs was accompanied by the quiet mumble of the villagers and the creak of the old wood of the building making a soothing backing music. When we were alone, there wasn't anything to say. Every topic seemed to lead back to the ones we couldn't talk about; our family, our childhood, our present and our future. There wasn't much besides.

Itachi pushed open the door to the room and pulled off his cloak, draping it over a chair. I stopped just inside the room, letting the door shut behind me. There was only one bed.

"We are on a budget," Itachi remarked, noticing my glances. I raised an eyebrow. "Don't worry, I won't do anything. We're merely brothers."

He retreated to the ground floor to bring up some food. We ate in silence, and prepared for bed in silence. Even though it was early, there was nothing else to do. There would be more training tomorrow, and I needed energy.

I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I ran into the Compound, realising something was wrong. There were no people leaving; by this time there were usually other Uchiha ninja leaving the compound to meet for missions overnight, or going to visit friends for dinner, or spend the evening out. I was the only child going to the Academy, so I returned alone. _

_But I couldn't see anyone. _

_I sped up a little, the feeling in my gut twisting like a knife. Something was wrong, but I couldn't see it yet. _

_I ran down roads that were longer than I remembered, my feet slipping in pools of blood, specks of red splashing up to stain my pale skin. White limbs hung limply out of doors and windows, blood streaming down them in dark rivers to drip off fingers and toes. Gaunt faces, often missing eyes or with blazing red Sharingan activated, stared out of windows. _

_But I took no notice of them. I needed to get home, because something bad was happening there. _

_I turned the final corner, to where my house stood in between two other houses. The dead walked in those houses, stumbling to greet me at the doors with blood dripping from between torn lips and half-severed limbs that dragged along the floor behind them. The little girl from down the road walked too, her screams echoed through my own lips when I walked into my own home._

_For the first time, I neglected my parents. My mother and father lay sprawled on the floor, their throats slit. Blood pooled around them, dark and thick, sinking into the wood beneath them. But they weren't what was wrong with this picture. There wasn't a dark figure standing over them with a katana in hand, blood dripping from the blade. _

_I knew it in my bones that the figure was upstairs._

_I raced upstairs, abandoning the corpses I had cried over so many times, taking the steps two or three at a time. My thighs ached as I raced down the corridor, pulling open the door to Nii-san's room._

"_I'm sorry, Sasuke," he whispered, before blood poured from his mouth and his eyes and he collapsed in front of me in a pile of white skin and red blood. Everything was white and red and black. Blood bubbled as he breathed his last, his Sharingan fading to stony black. His eyes glazed over, and he didn't see me anymore. _

_I fell to my knees and screamed. No one else mattered. Nii-san was dead, and so was the rest of my world. Tears fell across my cheeks and I clawed at my arms, drawing streaks of blood to match those my beloved brother bore. There was too much blood. Blood everywhere. Death. And Nii-san was dead. _

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I jolted awake, sobs accumulating in my throat. I was cold, shaking, and I couldn't breathe. I was choking. Tears ran down my face as I let out my breath in a sob, hands clawing into fists over my chest.

"It's alright, Otouto. It was just a bad dream," Itachi was at my side, petting my hair and looking at me through the darkness with his dark, dark eyes. No Sharingan.

My lip wavered a little, before I broke down and started crying loudly against his chest, falling forward to bury my face in his shirt. His arms curled around my back, rubbing soothing circles into my skin and pulling me closer and closer. He was warm and still, his very presence calming me like I was a little child again.

"N-nii-san," I croaked, squeezing my eyes shut, burrowing a little deeper into his chest, pressing my body against his. His arms drew tighter, like he was trying to meld us into one being. I felt safe and protected within that circle, and as his lips touched the top of my head I started to calm down. But I didn't move away. I just stayed there, curled against his side.

For a moment, I thought I had lost him, and that hurt most of all.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: It's cute! And I'm exhausted again! Writing that dream sequence had me looking over my shoulder for a moment there, with the creepy zombie people. I don't like zombies…but see, Sasuke really does need Itachi after all! And they've taken another big step in their relationship! Give me cookies for that? Still, if you can't manage cookies, a review would be lovely, too! **


	14. Be My Tourniquet

**Buried Alive – Chapter 13: Be My Tourniquet**

**A/N: Update my fanfic (like a boss!). Write some yaoi (like a boss!). Answer my reviews (like a boss!). Collapse from exhaustion (like a boss!). So, I'm back! Yet again, it's been less than twenty four hours and I'm updating, because I am just that cool. I was sitting in English Lit and I just had this sudden brainwave of an awesome plot, so you guys will be tortured and appeased in equal measure once it actually happens, which it doesn't for a while. I was reading through it and going, "woah…that's like, hardcore, dude!" (because I speak like a moron). Sorry 'bout that! Our song for the chapter is 'Champagne's for Celebrating (I'll Have Martini)' by Mayday Parade because I'm a closet emo, but my characters are not so closeted *heheh*…well, I suppose they haven't come out as such, but we all know they're gay as the fourth of July. **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Swearing and violence. Oh, and please don't kill me for last chapter! Yes, I could have slipped a lime or maybe a lemon in there, but it would have been a little too gratuitous. This is not a PWP, this is a proper story. I can't really just have random sex. Just wait a couple of chapters, and you'll get your lemon. Sasuke makes some very…questionable…decisions in this chapter, so seriously, use your common sense and choose a better role model for life. Murder is bad, kids.**

**Disclaimer: I clearly do not own Naruto. Why I still have disclaimers this late in the story, I do not know. If I was making money from this fanwork, then I would be able to provide myself with a little extra spending money for my work experience in France…as it is, I'm not doing so great for spare cash. Laptop repairs are expensive ;_;**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_So why'd you have to go?_

_Is there something I could say to make you turn around?_

'_Cause nights like these I wish I'd said don't go_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

When I woke up, Itachi was gone. For a moment, I thought he had left me, gone back to a hidden base I would never find, and left me like he did before. Panic raced through my veins as I recalled the dream from the night before, until I felt his chakra flare a little on the stairs as he approached the room.

I breathed deeply. The warm feeling from the night before I felt within the circle of Itachi's arms was still with me, letting me breathe a little easier. I could still feel the stiff salt trails from my tears on my cheeks, but the tears were worth it to feel a little content.

"I brought breakfast," he said as he entered the room, two bowls in hand. The cloak was gone, replaced with the tighter black clothes he wore for training. His hair was darker, damp with water from a shower, making his activated Sharingan blaze a little brighter and making his skin a little paler. We would be doing something again today; one little breakdown wasn't going to win me any days off.

I nodded and climbed out of bed. I didn't say anything, but the silence was more comfortable. It wasn't stifling or awkward, like yesterday. His calm voice still echoed through my head, the thirteen year old Itachi and the eighteen year old merging into one in my mind's eye. I wondered if I was doing the same for him.

"Leader-sama has assigned you your first mission for Akatsuki," Itachi's voice was neutral, letting no detail escape through his words. It came from his ANBU training, to be emotionless as possible on missions. It worked – until the ninja started to become desensitised to normal emotions and ended up emotionally crippled and unable to function. The best ninja learned to turn off and on, as easily as Itachi could activate and deactivate his Sharingan.

"Who's Leader-sama?"

"You haven't met him. He is the leader of Akatsuki,"

"But I thought it was Madara's organisation," I felt a little colder, remembering his oppressive presence.

"Madara-_sama_ prefers to work from behind the scenes," His voice was blank, almost bitterly so. "You are to retrieve a box from a small temple close to this village, and kill every person inside. I will watch from a distance and assist you if necessary, although I doubt you'll need it. Consider this a training exercise. We will return to the Akatsuki base immediately afterwards, where you will meet Leader-sama, and depending on the outcome of the mission be inducted into the organisation as a junior member."

In truth, I was terrified. I had probably killed before, from inflicting wounds on enemies but never actually standing over them and watching them die. And if I had, it was another ninja and in self defence or defence of another. It wasn't assassination, and it wasn't murder, like this would be.

But the consequences were worse. If I didn't do this, I would have to go away and abandon my brother. I couldn't do that; I couldn't lose that feeling I hadn't felt in so long. A few lives were worth nothing in comparison. It was a mission. I was just the weapon. I wasn't the murderer, whoever ordered the mission was. I could be like Itachi, and turn on and off my emotions like Sharingan.

"Alright, Aniki."

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I observed my target from a tree a few metres away from the temple. The temple was dedicated to a small, obscure local goddess of fertility. It was a single story high, the walls thin and the roof coated in a dark covering of slates. The land around was neatly groomed, but remote. There were no guards, only the three elderly priests who shuffled about the inside inanely.

I slipped down from my tree and entered the building through a back window, treading silently, Sharingan activated. The world took on a familiar sheen, and I drew a kunai.

I first came across the oldest of the priests, sitting calmly on the floor facing me. His eyes were milky white, but not the in the same way as the Byakugan was; these were white with blindness, and my steps were too quiet to be heard by the sharpest ears. Exhaling, I threw the kunai with deadly accuracy into his throat. He fell backwards, the life slipping from his wrinkled face.

I didn't feel anything. The Sharingan were on, the emotions were off.

A second priest came in, saw his dead companion, and began to pray quietly. Another kunai met his mark. It seemed like the men of this goddess knew no fear of death. I hoped that would make it easier to deal with once this was over and my emotions returned.

The final priest was in the shrine room, where the box was. He stood and calmly turned to face me.

"You can take what you want and you can kill me, but you will never be happy, young man. No murderer and no thief is truly happy." A third kunai found itself buried in his throat, and he fell to his knees, the name of his goddess on his lips as he breathed his last.

I stood in awe of what I had just done, Sharingan fading from my eyes. A pool of blood began to form around his body, spreading across the floor towards my feet. I stepped back instinctively, but it was a lost cause. The room was too small, and I had to cross his body to retrieve the box. Grimacing, I stepped into the bloody puddle. I could feel the blood still warm between my toes as it soaked through my shoes. Walking around his body, I picked up the box.

It was covered in mirrors. My own face stared back, unmarked by blood, but white as a ghost. Behind my black eyes, I could see the Sharingan waiting to rise again, and the faces of people I had yet to kill. Guilt crept into my heart. I had just killed three men. On orders from a criminal organisation. If Konoha or any other hidden village found out, I would be tried for murder. If I escaped, I would be a missing nin.

I hadn't thought this through. Why did I accept the mission in the first place? Wait, I was never even asked if I accepted or not. Was it assumed I would do it just because it was Itachi asking?

Yes, it was. And I did it.

My eyes stared back, and the guilt faded. If it was for Itachi, I could do it. It didn't matter, so long as I didn't have to be alone again.

I tucked the box under my arm and walked out of the front door, the blood adorning my shoes like a medal.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

The run back to the Akatsuki base was silent. It was still comfortable, but we were both processing what had just happened. I had taken my first, second and third lives, and walked away intact.

I wasn't expecting to just walk away from murder. Murderers were supposed to die. Surely if any gods existed they would strike me down. Why didn't the goddess of the temple strike me down when I killed on her land? Something was wrong. I had killed, but I wasn't going to be punished for it.

No, I was going to be _praised_ for it.

Itachi's face was blank as ever when he met me outside the temple, internally processing what his kid brother had just done. Was he proud? Was he disappointed? The contentment in my chest remained, and I was still alive. My brother hadn't abandoned me, I hadn't been the subject of divine justice, and I hadn't had a mental breakdown on the spot. Things were actually looking up.

Itachi stopped by a boulder and made a complex series of hand signs. The boulder disappeared, revealing a small entrance between two neighbouring stones. A cold draft wafted out, bringing the smell of damp earth and mould with it. It was like a tomb. Was it my tomb? Did Konoha think I was dead? Would I die down there? Did I deserve to die down there?

Probably, hopefully not, and probably. The world had become horribly grey, but all the answers were still the same.

We began our descent, stepping carefully down steps carved into the earth, the ceiling low with roots occasionally breaking through into the passage. There was no real lighting, save for occasional spots of light coming from side tunnels or luminescent burrowing insects.

Eventually the path widened, opening out into a proper room with plastered walls and a flagstone floor. In the middle of the room, the shadowy figures of a man and a woman waited, surrounded by more shadowy figures. The only fully present person was Kisame, the man who had introduced himself as Itachi's partner before. But I didn't recognise anyone else.

"Leader-sama," Itachi spoke.

"Itachi. Did Sasuke complete the mission?"

"Yes,"

"Did he require assistance?"

"No,"

"Did he kill every person within the temple?"

"Yes,"

"Then it is decided. Sasuke Uchiha will join us in the capture of the Kyuubi vessel, assisting Itachi and Kisame on their mission in any way they see fit,"

"But he's just a fuckin' kid," one of the figures protested.

"Shut up, Hidan," another replied.

"But-"

"My word is final. You will leave within the week."

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

A/N: I am a bitch; Sasuke is now officially a moron, now knee-deep in doing stupid shit, because apparently loving your brother is motive for murder. Yeah. Wrap your head around that one in ethics class, dudes. I call it 'moral fail no jutsu~'. So now you know (part of) the plot, shit happens next week! And I apologise in advance. You'll see why. Just don't kill me, because if you kill me you'll never get a lemon. So I'm warning you way in advance, you probably won't like what will happen. Especially – censored – which happens. Heheh. Reviews = chocolate, cookies, strawberries, smiley faces and rainbows.


	15. Nothing's Ever Built to Last

**Buried Alive – Chapter 14: Nothing's Ever Built to Last**

**A/N: I somehow just signed myself up for Chinese classes, in addition to my stupidly big workload, and my probably EPQ…I am actually going to die of exhaustion. Oh, and I just arranged to do twenty weeks of voluntary work in a hospital on the cancer ward, so I get to go and watch people die. Yay. I'm going to be emotionally dead by the end of the year. Song of the chapter is '21 Guns' by Green Day. And it's relevant. If you can feel how deeply depressing that song is underneath, we're on the same page here. **

_**IMPORTANT A/N2: **_**I deeply apologise for this chapter. Not the writing or the quality or whatever. I apologise for what you are about to read, if you in any way like a certain character. I am terribly, deeply sorry. I feel very guilty myself here. Please don't throw your chair through your computer screen in anger. Just take a deep breath, and remember that their soul is in Heaven and they have gone to a better place. It's all for the greater good.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Language and violence. No lemons here, but instead I'm giving you a major character death. I'm deeply sorry if you like the character, but I'm afraid they have to die. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, because if I did I would have killed Sakura off long ago (although she isn't the fatality of this chapter, if you're wondering). No, if I did own Naruto and I did this, then my editor would make me go back and change it. I'm not profiting from this fanfiction, and just in case, flames will be used to roast my dinner. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_When it's time to live and let die_

_And you can't get another try_

_Something inside this heart has died_

_You're in ruins._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

"What's the Kyuubi?" I asked as Itachi walked me to my room. The base was too big, full of winding tunnels that lead to dead ends or places I wasn't allowed to go, and I didn't have a hope in hell's chance of finding my room otherwise.

"The Kyuubi," said Itachi calmly, "is the nine tailed fox demon unleashed on Konoha thirteen years ago. The Fourth Hogake sacrificed his life to defeat it. That is the official story. However, there is more,"

"Yes?"

"The Fourth Hokage was unable to kill the demon; a demon is a part of nature, and therefore is impossible to simply 'kill'. Instead, he sealed it inside his infant son. Their fate is now linked; if the boy dies, so does the Kyuubi."

"So who is the son? Do I know him?"

"The boy is a Jinchuuriki, a demon vessel. He has extraordinary healing powers, an endless supply of chakra from the demon, and distinctive markings on his body that mark him as the vessel of the Kyuubi." I tried to picture a boy with fox ears and a tail. No one like that really came to mind. Were they hidden away for safety?

"So who is he?" I asked, expecting some obscure name of a random civilian. Someone I had never heard of, had never interacted with. Someone, like the priests from the temple, I could kill without feeling serious remorse.

"Naruto Uzumaki."

My world stopped for a second. Naruto. The target was Naruto. This was different. I knew Naruto, knew about his childish crush on Sakura, his love of ramen, his determination and excitable personality. How could he be a jinchuuriki?

"Are you sure?" I said. My voice was the same monotone, emotionless drone as Itachi's mission-voice. I could deal with it, if I just shut down. I didn't have to think on a mission. I was just the weapon. The target was just the target.

"You don't have to kill him. You're just the bait to lure him out. Konoha have been searching for you since you disappeared a week ago, and you're the perfect person to attract his attention. Apparently he's been rather _anxious_ to have you back. We need him alive to extract the demon,"

"Will he still be alive after that?"

"No,"

"Will it hurt him?"

"Yes,"

"How long will it last?"

"Three days and nights, continually."

See? I wouldn't be actively killing him. I'd be handing him over. That wouldn't be murder, that would just be coincidentally helping Akatsuki.

_Yes, to be tortured for days_, my conscience replied.

No. I refused to think about it. I flared my Sharingan, reminding myself what was supposed to happen. I would activate my Sharingan, and I would switch my conscience, emotions and all, off. Then I would lure Naruto away from the rest of the Konoha nin, and Itachi and Kisame would swoop in and collect him. Then my involvement ends, and I can switch the Sharingan off and my emotions back on. Then I can process it. There would be no point in deliberating and stalling, pondering over the implications of doing this. I would do it because it was an order, and good ninja follow their orders.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I stepped out into the wide clearing and completely unmasked my chakra. Naruto was near, his chakra signature flaring and dissipating as he bobbed and weaved through the trees towards my location. It was lucky he wasn't sticking close to the group.

I activated my Sharigan, and stopped the emotions.

My hair whipped about my face in the breeze, not strong enough to be considered harsh but not weak enough to ignore. But I didn't raise my hands to my face or blink the hair away. I let it prod my eyes, a little subconscious penance for what I was about to do.

Itachi was in the trees nearby, his chakra expertly masked, while Kisame kept track of the party of Konoha ninja Naruto was a part of towards the north. I couldn't find my brother if I wanted to, but I knew he was there. Itachi's presence was a little comforting; even emotionless, I still found the support of my brother somewhat calming.

"Sasuke!" Naruto broke through the trees, panting and grinning. "I found you! Where have you been, teme?"

I launched myself at him, throwing a series of shuriken as I flew through the air. He paused in shock, before jumping to the side, but too slowly. A sharp edge cut through his clothes and into his skin, blood colouring the orange with a darker red for a second. But then the spread stopped, like the wound had healed.

"What the hell, Sasuke-teme? Why did you do that?"

I didn't reply, and moved forward again. My strategy was perfect; I couldn't hope to beat him through chakra exhaustion, so I had to outmanoeuvre him. It was exactly what Itachi had been training me in before my first mission.

And so the dance began. We changed from two boys fighting into a series of streaks of colour, turning and ducking and jumping and diving across the green space of the clearing. I left no space for any more questions. More questions and my emotions might fade back in, and that would seriously jeopardise the mission.

The fight culminated in my pinning Naruto to the ground, waiting for Itachi to move in and knock him unconscious for transport back to the base. But Itachi didn't jump down from the trees. Instead, Naruto looked up at me through his wide, blue eyes.

"Why are you doing this, Sasuke?" He breathed. I shifted my weight a little, taking pressure off his chest.

"I-"

Something broke. My Sharingan faded. Itachi wasn't there. And I could feel everything again. If I didn't do something now, Naruto would die. Naruto, one of the few people in Konoha that I didn't really mind, my teammate, my _friend_. Was I about to hand him over to die? Could I live with myself knowing that?

No, it wasn't just death. If it was just death, it would be different. Akatsuki was going to _torture_ him. For _days_. Then let him die. Being an instrument of death was one thing, but torture was another. I had felt torture, been tortured by the person closest to me in the world. It was a betrayal greater than death, to let someone be tortured. At least in death, there was no pain, or at least only momentary pain. In torture, there was minutes, hours, _days_ of continual suffering. Could I let that happen to my friend?

Steeling myself, I made my decision.

The cold edge of the kunai bit through his skin as I shoved it under and up into his ribcage, piercing the heart.

Fingers gripped bruisingly into my flesh, and his eyes widened further, filling with shock and tears. I saw it all. I was supposed to let him go, and go back with him to Konoha where we could live happily forever after. We were supposed to go back to Kakashi and Sakura, become chuunin together, maybe jounin, meet someone and fall in love, maybe have children, and die old and happy. We weren't supposed to be here, my kunai in his heart and my own on the verge of stopping. It wasn't supposed to end here.

"I'm sorry, Naruto," I whispered. His fingers relaxed, and I removed my hands, leaving the kunai in place. I gently shut his eyes and moved to the side. "I'm sorry."

I felt Itachi's presence again.

Pain stabbed through my eye sockets, but I fought to keep them open. Was this my divine punishment for being a murderer? It wasn't enough. I pressed my fists into my eyes, trying to feel the pain deeper inside. Then it stabbed through again in a painful jolt, drawing a small whimper from my lips. My fingers and palms became slick with blood, but I couldn't manage tears. Yes, this had to be divine punishment, being unable to cry for a dead friend.

"We have to leave before the Konoha nin realise he is missing," Itachi spoke from behind me, but I didn't hear him. "We can go away for a while, Otouto. Just you and me for a little while. I can't claim to understand, but you need it."

I nodded, letting a dry sob wrench itself from between my lips. I pulled one hand away from my face, smearing my own blood across the ground next to Naruto. My blood, perfect, divine Uchiha blood, was as common as dirt and worth as much. The pain returned with extra force, and I fell forward again. Itachi's cold hands gripped my shoulders, gently guiding me up. A hand gripped mine, and I closed my eyes. Blood trickled down my cheeks and dripped off my chin. I could smell it, metallic and sweet and bitter, laced with a hint of impurity and unworthiness.

I couldn't do it. I couldn't be like Nii-san. I had failed.

When I fell forward this time, he caught me. We just stood there, my only support being the cold hands and warm body of my brother. I wanted to pull him closer, pull myself tighter into the embrace of his arms, but my body wouldn't respond. Instead, his arms tightened.

"I'm s-sorry, Nii-san," I whispered.

"I know, Sasuke, I know,"

"What's happening to me? Am I going to die?"

"It's the Mangekyou Sharingan, a more powerful version of the basic Sharingan. The emotional response to the death of a best friend triggers its initial activation, which results in heavy bleeding from the eye sockets for a number of hours, accompanied by a great deal of pain. But it can't kill you. It will make you stronger, the way any other death will,"

"I don't want it,"

"I know you don't."

Nii-san picked me up like a child and ran. Through a bloody film I watched the surrounding forest race by, changing to river, then back to forest. The smooth movement of his body was soothing, like a mother rocking a crying baby. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because he stopped beside a small cottage, falling into disrepair.

Briefly, I wondered if they had found Naruto's body yet. I imagined Sakura's and Kakashi's reactions, wondering whether they would fall to the ground and cry or try to stand tall and silent. Either way, what I had done hadn't just affected me. Naruto was Sakura's friend and Kakashi's student, and the friend of so many others. He was like a beacon, attracting people to him in droves from the darkness, but now the light was extinguished, and he couldn't be replaced.

Konoha would mourn him, maybe search for his killer, and then he would be forgotten like almost every other fallen ninja. Weapons that break might be remembered fondly for a time, but are always discarded and forgotten eventually.

Itachi set me down and led me by the hand into the cottage. It was tiny and damp and dark and it smelled like mould. A bed with no sheets and a straw mattress was pushed against the far wall, making space for a table and three chairs, all mismatched, two with wonky legs. A thin divider separated a sink and a bucket from the rest of the cottage. From the inside, it was more of a shack.

I was set down on the bed, Itachi bending down over me to lay me comfortably.

And then everything was okay.

He kissed me.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I just killed off Naruto! Sorry! And I made it a cliffie! There will be a lemon next chapter as a kind of make up for being so…so…so…evil! It looks like it's a repeat of moral fail no jutsu~, except it isn't nameless innocent bystanders dying, it's the titular character. Oh god, Sasuke is so fucked up. In many ways, I feel sorry for this guy…I keep fucking up his life harder and harder. And it's only going to get worse! So, now you've finished throwing sharp objects at a photo of me, I would like some reviews :3 although no number of reviews in the world will make poor Naruto come back ;_;**


	16. Rather Feel Pain

**Buried Alive – Chapter 15: Rather Feel Pain**

**A/N: So here it is. The long awaited Ita/Sasu lemon. Itachi and Sasuke have sex. Proper sex. Together. With each other. It happens. No more random side pairings/dodgy dubcon/noncon stuff (at least for a while). Back to the main pairing for their first lemon. To answer a couple of possible questions, yes, Sasuke is a virgin, and no, Itachi is not (we all know he's totally not a virgin if you read the first lemon of this story…kukuku…). And no, Naruto is not coming back. He's definitely dead. The first law of resurrection is, 'if the author wants the character to come back, they will come back'. However, I don't really want him back, so he's staying dead. Song for the chapter is 'Pain' by Three Days Grace. It's pretty epic, and extremely masochistic…a few things the Uchiha brothers have in common. And I'm sorry if pain isn't your thing, just in case. Yeah. **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warning: It's lemon time! Two guys, two directly blood related guys, brothers, are about to have sex with each other. This is incest, kids, and I really don't recommend you trying it in real life, much like murder. Most societies tend to frown upon it about as much as cannibalism. If that makes you uncomfortable, you can skip to the next chapter. Ooh, I had such a good prompt for this chapter…teehee. Props to you if you can figure out what it is. The Marquis de Sade ain't shit.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto…well…there would be a lot more sex. Specifically between the guys of the show. And Sakura would be dead. And Itachi wouldn't be dead. And all the hot guys of Akatsuki would be alive/functioning, too. Clearly, I do not own Naruto because of what is about to transpire, which is two characters about to commit incest. Just in case you didn't get that from the warning or the author's note right above this disclaimer. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_This life is filled with hurt_

_When happiness doesn't work_

_Trust me and take my hand_

_When the lights go out, you will understand_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

It was chaste, but it said so much. There were no words, but the message was clear: I'm here if you need me. And I did. By the gods, I did.

His warm lips pulled away, but I rose up and pressed my own against his, one hand gripping onto his shoulder to hold him there, to pull him closer to me. The fabric of his cloak annoyed me. I wanted skin, not clothes.

I confess I had no idea how to kiss. The constant, irritating advances of every girl my age from Konoha put me off every practising on a girl, and the unspoken laws against it stopped me kissing other boys. Not that I hadn't thought about it. I had done what probably every single male under the age of sixteen had done, and disguised myself with a henge to buy porn. I knew how sex worked, but kissing? I had seen it done, but I didn't know how to do it myself.

I pulled on Nii-san's shoulder, crushing my lips into his until the insides of my lips tasted raw and bloody. Then his lips parted, and a tongue swept across my closed lips, teasing first the corner of my mouth then moving to pry it open. I breathed heavily through my nose, mouth slightly open, as his arms came down to hold me and prop me up, giving him better access. His tongue danced across the planes of my mouth, tempting my tongue into action. Tentatively, I titled my head and moved my tongue in synchronisation with his, slowly but heavily licking against his wet muscle.

It wasn't what I expected, but it was erotic. A line of saliva trailed from the corner of my mouth, proof of my inexperience. Nii-san pulled away, a silvery string connecting our mouths until he reached up to wipe across my lips.

"What do you want, Otouto? Do you really want this?" His eyes were heavy with lust, his breathing a little deeper. "You never get a second first time."

"I don't care. I want this. I need you," I coloured a little, a combination of kissing and embarrassment. Even if I did want it, it still felt strange to say it out loud. To request to have sex with your own brother.

"What we're about to do is reprehensible. We can never be open about it,"

"We're not open people. And I don't care if it is i-incest, it's because it's you that I want to do it,"

His lips descended on me, but on my forehead, kissing a trail down my nose and towards my lips. I met him with an open mouth, and he sucked my tongue into his own mouth, encouraging me to explore. He tasted a little odd, but I didn't really know what to expect, so I didn't mind. One hand reached under my shirt, and for the first time I couldn't claim ignorance of his actions. I knew exactly what he was doing, and I wasn't about to stop him. I wanted him, I_ needed_ him. Being held wasn't enough anymore.

His cold hands trailed up my sides, my skin rising in goosebumps to meet his touch. One held me in place while another crept up higher to sweep over a nipple. I pulled back, and tore my shirt over my head. I wanted to see everything, to give myself proof that this was really happening, and it wasn't just a dream. When I returned to my position, his hand moved away. I pouted a little in disappointment, but gasped when his lips replaced them. My hands found his shoulders, pushing back the black of his cloak, letting it slip down his back. All that remained was the two layers underneath, his shirt and the net undershirt.

He bit down gently, and a squirmed a little in pleasure, the sensation slipping down to my ever-increasing arousal. Scarlet Sharingan eyes found mine, a small smirk in the red iris as his free hand slipped under the waistband of my shorts.

We had never gone further than this, even as semi-corrupted children, and I had never wanted it so much. I wanted to feel his hands all over me, his flushed pink lips, I wanted everything. I wanted a connection, to physically feel him inside me. I didn't even consider the other way around. He was my Nii-san, the mark I compared myself to. It was logical for him to dominate me, when he was clearly superior.

He began to stroke me, mouth unlatching from my chest, all his focus on the area between my legs. I moved them apart a little, giving him better access. Fingers moved lightly, sending teasing shivers of pleasure up my spine. If kissing was erotic, then this was on a completely different level. He paused for a moment to pull down my shorts and underwear, and I bit back a little groan of frustration. I wanted to feel that hand again, doing the things that made me forget about everything, things that made me closer and closer to Nii-san.

But he was being too gentle, too considerate, when I didn't deserve gentleness and consideration. I was a murderer. I shouldn't be allowed to feel so good for nothing.

I lost my train of thought when his hand closed into a fist around my hardened flesh and began to pump. My hips arched into the touch, breathing heavier with each stroke of his fist. I began to feel hotter and hotter, the heat concentrating low in my belly, my head pressing back into the straw mattress beneath me. I felt alive, revelling in the sensations I was being given by my brother.

When I didn't think it could get better, it did. My Sharingan involuntarily flared, and I let out a loud moan and came into his hand, the sensation of orgasm staying with me as I exhaled sharply, propping myself up to look at him.

"I want to g-go all the way,"

"It will hurt. I don't have any proper lubricant,"

"Your first time is supposed to hurt." A small trail of blood leaked from the corner of my eye in an imitation of a tear. I swiped at it angrily, pressing the eye shut and letting myself feel the pain. I wanted to feel pain, after all the pain I had inflicted, and was going to inflict.

"Suck," he commanded, tapping three fingers against my lips. I opened my mouth, sparsely covering the digits in saliva. It _had_ to hurt; I was going to make sure it hurt. I blushed a little at what this looked like an imitation of, and imagined the fingers were something very different. The thought went straight to my reawakening member. He pulled his fingers out of my mouth with a wet pop.

I spread my legs a little wider, focusing on the expression on Nii-san's face. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing a little deeper than normal, lips a little darker and plumper from kissing. His eyes were full of arousal I couldn't see, hidden by his clothes. He wanted me, and I loved that. I wanted to be wanted.

One finger pushed inside me without any warning. It didn't exactly hurt, but it wasn't comfortable. Slowly, that finger began to move, the meagre lubrication aiding it a little. A second pressed in beside it, drawing a choked gasp from my lips.

"Relax, Otouto. It's easier if you relax," I did as he said, feeling his fingers begin to thrust shallowly in and out, spread apart to stretch my entrance, all while I watched his face. His eyes were a shade darker, his normal irises casting a shadow over the Sharingan as he lost a little control from our actions. The darker Sharingan was beautiful, perfectly complimenting the light flush across his cheeks.

The third finger hurt. It was a burning, stinging kind of pain, but I grit my teeth against the whimpers that strained to come out. If I looked hurt, or made noises like it hurt, Nii-san might stop, and then I would probably never have this chance again. I had to have this. We had to do it.

His fingers hooked, searching for something, the burn still present. I didn't let myself relax too much, not wanting to get too used to the sensation. I gasped a little, violent shocks of pleasure streaming through my body.

"W-what was th-that, Nii-san?" He just smirked, and withdrew his fingers. That hurt more than their presence. I moaned a little, wiggling my hips, trying to be enticing and seductive. _I'm right here, Nii-san, and I'm waiting for you. You can use me however you want because I need you and I deserve whatever pain I get. _

I watched everything. I watched as he pulled off his shirt and net shirt, his skin almost the same shade as mine. His trousers followed, falling to the floor as he freed his erection. He spat into his palm and wiped it over his member, then aligned himself with my entrance.

I screamed as he thrust himself all the way in in one go.

Three fingers were in no way comparable to his entire length. I could feel myself tearing, my Sharingan activating in reflexive response to the pain, my tears mixing with the blood from my still damaged eyes. I looked up at Nii-san, the world still looking a little strange through the Sharingan, to meet the concern in his eyes.

"It's not supposed to hurt that much, Otouto. Now, let yourself get used to me. Relax, or we go no further. Deactivate your Sharingan before you do any further damage to your eyes," he spoke softly, one hand reaching down to brush a stray strand of hair away from my eyes. His lips descended on mine, kissing me sweetly and chastely, in complete contrast to the rest of our bodies. He gently nipped down my jaw line, leaving a trail of sweet pleasure down my neck, where he began to suck lightly. I moved my hips a little, testing the waters. It still hurt, but not as badly as that first thrust.

"You c-can move now," I said, my voice still thick with tears.

He drew out a little, before sliding slowly back in. It still hurt, but not so much. I had a nasty feeling that my own blood was acting as a lubricant instead. His hand found my limp member again, and began to stroke it gently, teasing me back to life. Even through the pain, it was deeply erotic to know it was my Nii-san buried inside me, to know it was his member pumping in and out of me, to know it was my body giving him the pleasure he couldn't help but show across his face.

He changed the angles of his thrusts slightly, and pleasure completely replaced the pain. I began to move my hips to meet his thrusts, driving him deeper and deeper into my body. In combination with the hand stroking me, I forgot everything. It was just me and my Nii-san, moving together, plain pleasure written across both our faces.

The sensation, a little familiar from before, began to rise again inside me. I came almost without warning, his name on my lips as my whole body tightened and I spilled my seed across my own body. After a few deep thrusts, Nii-san came too, filling me with his essence. I just lay there, trying to catch my breath.

"I'm sorry for hurting you," he whispered, fingers tracing over the bloody tear tracks across my cheeks.

"Me, too," I replied, pulling him down on top of me. Sighing, he pulled out completely, and drew me into the circle of his arms. Back in that ring of protection, I let myself face what I had done, sobbing into his chest for the rest of the night.

I deserved worse.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Dear Lord. I think that succinctly sums up how I feel after writing that. That actually took me three hours of pretty much continual work to do, because I kept stopping to hit my head against hard objects, steal alcohol and look over my reference material. Do I get cookies for this? I think I was a really horrible bitch, not letting Sasuke enjoy literally anything. I have really fucked up his life so bad ;_; But still, Itachi deflowered his foolish little brother, and they're both still alive. So, let's see what happens next…Reviewers get internet chocolate/cookies/lollipops/rainbows/unicorns/teddy bears/porn. So review, and let me know how much you hate me :3**


	17. Something I Can't Know

**Buried Alive – Chapter 16: Something I Can't Know**

**A/N: So, did you enjoy Sasuke's first time? Did you hate Sasuke's first time? Do you want me to pass you the brain bleach? Either way, it happened, so we can get on with more actual plot. And we can have more than three active characters this chapter! Yay! It seems my little brother has found out that I write uh, erotic fanfiction, and is now trying to find what I write. This is very bad. So if you know either of us in real life, then please refrain from telling him. I want to be shipped off to therapy about as much as Sasuke does – not at all. The song of the chapter is 'Summertime' by My Chemical Romance. I am generally avoiding MCR for this fic because many of their songs have a tendency to make me cry, like I did once at one of their gigs…that was horribly embarrassing, yet deeply depressing. And potentially dangerous, had I been moshing at the time. Still, themes are applicable to this chapter.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warning: We've had our two lemons, so you'll need to wait a little bit for more sex. But what I do have here is swearing, and many implied pairings because I love the guys of Akatsuki far too much. As much as I would like to throw in a lemon for every pairing (except Pain and Konan…I don't write het, and I don't ship Zetsu with anyone because shipping a plant is creepy), I can't really do that here. Because none of them get to narrate. When I finish this, I'll possibly do one of those pairings – there are hardly any long ninjaverse-based Kakuzu x Hidan fics on this site at all! And there aren't too many really good SasoDei ones either!**

**Disclaimer: As denoted by the fact I am a mere shipper, I do not own Naruto in any way, shape or form. I just like to pair characters up and go make them do kinky things to each other. A lot. Or end up completely dependent on their own brother, make a lot of stupid decisions, and get more than a little psychotic. Hell, at the moment Sasuke is borderline completely self destructive. Hell, I could probably get away with slipping some self harm in here, but I don't feel like it…right now. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Terrified of what I'd be_

_From a kid from what I've seen_

_Every single day_

_When people try_

_To put the pieces back together_

_Just to smash them down_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I was dragged into the world of consciousness by a pair of voices. I wasn't cold, but I couldn't feel the warmth that I had let myself fall asleep in last night. Last night. I closed my eyes a little tighter, willing myself back to sleep.

"…on one condition, of course…"

"…you know how much I hate it…"

"…_care_ how much, that is what I…"

I cracked open one eye, surrendering to the noise. I was curious now. One voice was clearly that of my brother, and I recognised the other but I couldn't put my finger on it. I shifted my hands around a little, pulling down the thick fabric that was covering me. Fully opening one eye, I identified it as my brother's Akatsuki cloak. It was warmer and heavier than I expected, but it smelled like him. It smelled delicious.

I smirked a little at the memory of last night. We had done it. We had had sex with each other, committed one of the greatest taboos in the country if not the world. But I didn't regret it.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun! I see you're awake! How nice of you to join us in the land of the living after your little nap," I whipped my head around to face the speaker. Madara stood calmly across from Itachi, who was anything but calm. Lines of tension were woven into his uncovered shoulders, though his face remained calm. Whatever they had been talking about was clearly making him deeply uncomfortable.

"Good morning, Otouto," he said, raising his eyes to meet mine, silently pleading to comply with Madara. I smothered a yawn, blinking blearily. It was too early in the morning to deal with anyone's machinations.

"It seems you really did tire him out, didn't you, Itachi-kun?" Madara's voice was laced with something odd, and Itachi's fingers twitched a little. "Still, down to business. Although it seems we were unable to precisely capture the Kyuubi, I have come to request that the both of you return with me to the base," It was clearly anything but a request. "You will both retain your positions in Akatsuki, and the information regarding your little failure has not been made widespread. Think of this as a second chance, and I expect you to do everything in your power to show me how grateful you are for this chance."

"Of course, Madara-sama. It goes without saying," His voice was a little strained, his fingers tightening a little.

"Good. Sasuke-kun?"

"Yes. Okay," I mumbled.

"Excellent. I expect you back before tomorrow. Itachi-kun, please don't hesitate to carry Sasuke-kun if he is unable to walk." Although his face was covered, I could hear the smirk in his voice. He clearly knew what had happened, but he didn't seem to care. That was odd. For one, he didn't even imply that what we had done was dirty and despicable, when it clearly was. And then there was the fact he knew in the first place. There was no evidence I could see; Itachi was fully dressed, I was covered up, and nothing was particularly out of place in the cottage.

I shot a look at Itachi, silently asking for answers, but he looked away. Madara moved towards the door, his pace fast and businesslike. Half way out of the door, he paused.

"Oh, and if you're wondering, Sasuke, you're not the first brothers to have indulged in such acts." His voice was high and playful, a sound that was both unnerving and childish at the same time. The door shut behind him, and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

I pushed the cloak fully off me and sat up, wincing at the sharp pain in my lower body. Still, it was just more pain, and more pain I could deal with.

"Are we going back?" I asked, gathering the cloak into my arms. Nii-san's scent clung to the fibres in an addictive and pungent concoction.

"Yes. We don't really have a choice," Itachi took the cloak from my hands and hung it about himself, before picking me up like I weighed little more than the cloak.

"I can walk, you know,"

"We're not testing that theory. I wasn't exactly easy on you last night, and I won't have you do any further damage to yourself on the way."

The journey wasn't difficult. I didn't protest much after I found the snug spot within my brother's arms, enjoying the closeness. Although we had gotten as close as two humans are physically able to, it still felt overwhelmingly good to be held. The rocking motion of his body as he ran was soothing, and would have lulled me to sleep had I not made the effort to stay awake. Instead, I looked up at his face, watching as he contemplated something. Whatever it was didn't appear to be particularly pleasant, especially since it was actually registering on his face. It could have been that he was letting his guard down a little, but I doubted it. We were still in dangerous territory, so keeping his guard up was vital.

I cast my mind back to before, when Madara had said that we weren't the only brothers who 'indulged'. Did he mean himself? If he did, then the clan had almost certainly erased any records of it from our history. Nothing so shameful as that would survive. In the time since there was the possibility of other brothers like Nii-san and me, but it wasn't likely. Normal brothers didn't even _think_ like that.

Yes, it was shameful, and yes, it was wrong. But it was so good, being so close. Being so close made me feel safe, wanted and _loved_. And I hadn't felt loved in a long time. Even if it was all an illusion, then I was still happy.

When we arrived at the Akatsuki base, I realised what Madara had meant about walking. It really, really hurt. Every step I took, I could feel sharp stings of pain crawling up my spine. It was clearly plastered across my face, because Nii-san kept shooting me little almost worried looks. But I managed the stairs, and I managed the walk to the communal kitchen. There were padded chairs. I thanked whatever gods had decided to give mankind the intuition to build chairs with built-in cushions.

"I have a small matter of business to attend to in another part of the base, so stay here until I come for you. Feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the cupboards and refrigerator." Itachi's hand rested briefly on my shoulder, before he turned and walked away. His pace was a little slower than normal; he wasn't trying to get anywhere quickly. That was a little strange. Prevaricating wasn't Nii-san's style.

I stayed perched on the comfortable chair, elbows resting on the table in front of me to cradle my head on the bridge of my fingers. It was quiet here. Maybe-

"-shut the fuck up, you bastard! So what if I got blood all over my fucking cloak! Jashin demands sacrifice, and you can't expect my rituals to be all neat and shit!" A voice yelled, coming from the door Nii-san had left through. He hadn't mentioned the other members were around. I tensed a little, not knowing what to expect.

"Yes I can, Hidan. I will not waste money on a new cloak just because you're a little too messy with your ridiculous rituals!"

"Oh, fuck you, Kakuzu, you money-loving whore!"

"Learn to clean up after yourself and we wouldn't be having this conversation,"

"This is hardly a fucking conversation, dick for brains!"

"Then what is it?"

"How the fuck should I know?"

"I would say-" The door burst open, revealing the owners of the voices. Two men, one with silver hair and the other with his much of his face and head covered, both wearing Akatsuki cloaks paused in the doorway. A momentary silence descended as my eyes flickered over to meet theirs.

"Well, fuck me! It's Itachi's fuckin' mini clone!"

"Hn," I rolled my eyes a little. I hadn't been referred to like that since I was a kid.

"I apologise for my partner's lack of eloquence, Sasuke," the one with the covered face said, irritation clear in his voice. "Hidan is widely known for being an inarticulate, wasteful idiot,"

"Like you can fucking talk, you money-hungry bastard!" Hidan yelled, crossing his arms a little petulantly.

"My point exactly,"

"Fuck you!"

"You wish," Instead of another rant, Hidan just grinned.

"If we're doing introductions, then this motherfucker is Kakuzu. He's like, our resident cheap skate bastard or something," He lazily waved a hand in Kakuzu's general direction, which Kakuzu grabbed onto, squeezing tightly.

"You'd all be running around naked and unfed without me. Be grateful," Kakuzu snarled, letting go of Hidan's hand. "You'll find your cloak on your bed, Sasuke. You'd do well not to ruin it, like every other person in this organisation seems to do on a daily basis. The number of cloaks I've had replace for Deidara is through the roof, and it comes out of the budget for all of your meals!"

"Ignore him, Chibi-Tachi. He secretly thinks you're too fucking cute to starve," Hidan smiled, raising an eyebrow in Kakuzu's direction.

"I am _not_ cute!" I protested. If I was anything, it was not cute. I was a boy, for god's sake!

"Sure you are! You look like a doll or some shit like that,"

"That's even worse. And don't call me Chibi-Tachi!"

"Don't be such a bitch. Hell, you're as bad as your brother,"

"I take offence to that," I replied.

"As do I. Come on, Otouto, I'll take you to your room," Itachi strode through the door and was tugging me to my feet before I could protest. I trailed behind a little petulantly, taking in the blank walls, the boring floor, and the plain ceiling. For the base of a criminal organisation, this place was very mundane. "I see you've met Kakuzu and Hidan,"

"Yes. They're very, ah…" I couldn't quite think of the right word. Insane? Bizarre? A walking freak show?

"Odd? Yes, try to avoid ending up as one of Hidan's sacrificial victims and don't break anything. Last time Deidara blew something up Kakuzu almost had multiple heart attacks out of frustration. It wouldn't have killed him, though. Both of them are immortal," Itachi warned, a note of amusement in his voice. They couldn't be all that bad if Itachi didn't mind them.

I looked a little closer at Nii-san, taking in his appearance. The band securing his pony tail was loose. That irritated me a little; Nii-san never let his appearance slip. I reached a hand up to push it up a little, pulling down the high collar of his cloak. I stopped moving, my grip firm on the fabric in my hand. A series of reddish marks decorated his throat like a necklace. His own hand moved up to cover mine, pulling it away gently.

"Nii-san, what are-?"

"Ita-chan, I don't think I said you could go yet!" Madara's creepy, playful voice echoed down the corridor, sending shivers up my spine.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Ooh, Itachi, you naughty boy! You can't be gone a minute without ending up on the wrong end of someone's very naughty intentions! So Sasuke's life is now fucked up again, but you'll have to wait about twenty four hours for his general reaction on it. Yay. And I really liked writing the cute little interaction between Kakuzu and Hidan back there. And yes, they are a side pairing. Yay. Because this story clearly doesn't have enough sadomasochism already :P **


	18. Blood and Tears and Hearts

**Buried Alive – Chapter 17: Blood and Tears and Hearts**

**A/N: Honeys, I'm home! Back from school straight onto my computer to work on the latest instalment of your incestuous pornographic material! I won't bore you with the details of my day, but teaching not-so-bright girls about primary through quaternary protein structure is very, very taxing. But I think we got there in the end, so all is good. Mondays are difficult because I have school then dance, which makes free time awkward when I have literally mountains of prep work for the next day . But as long as you get your chapter, you're happy – and so am I! Song of the chapter is 'Hide and Seek' by Imogen Heap. It's very depressing. Shoutouts to Nychta (even if you're faaar to young to be reading this xD) and to Chris (who I shouldn't let read this, but for some reason I do…I'll give you some brain bleach later). Oh, and a fringe is what English people call bangs…I think. Damn Americanisms. **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Lots of reference to dirty, naughty acts committed by our favourite brothers and their not-so-favourite ancestor/pervert/thing. And swearing. Plus de swearing. Although there will be no actual sex this chapter, I still kind of feel obliged to point all this out because it's about a very dodgy subject, y'know? I can't not-sell incest porn to kiddies! It makes me as bad as certain dodgy characters in certain fanfics…**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. Hell, if I did, I would be in a hell of a lot of trouble right now because I killed off Naruto not too long ago, and there would be no way any editor would let graphic incest slip through the radar. Because incest is bad, children. I hope you know this. As anyone in a normal familial relationship with their brother/sister will tell you, incest is pretty gross in real life. I would stab anyone who tried to pair me with my brother in the face with a blunt object, and then kill them. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Spin me round again_

_And rub my eyes_

_This can't be happening_

_When busy streets a mess with people_

_Would stop to hold their heads heavy_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

"A-are those love bites?" I said, reaching forward to pull down Itachi's collar again. My hand was blocked, and Itachi took a step closer to Madara, who stood half in, half out of a room a little way down the corridor.

"Your bedroom is four doors down on the left. It appears I'm needed again." He couldn't look me in the face as he walked quickly towards Madara, his shoulders full of unspoken tension.

Something clicked. An overwhelming feeling of despair began to crush down on my chest with every step Itachi took. They were – I couldn't even bear to think the words. I wanted to shut down, to run away and cry, but I would have no one to comfort me anymore. It was all just a lie. I had thought I could be happy with a lie, but it made everything worse. All the guilt for what I had done, all the regret for the pain I had caused, and all the selfishness and perversion I had indulged in caught up to me. But I couldn't move. My legs refused to take a step forwards, and my mouth refused to open to scream, whimper or cry.

Itachi took the final step, crossing over the threshold into Madara's room. The door shut behind him with a soft click.

I still couldn't move. My brother had gone, but I still couldn't move. I was useless and helpless again, as helpless as I had been when he first left. In that moment, I hated myself and I hated him more than I had ever hated anything before in my life. I could feel a rage bubbling up, waiting to overflow in my stomach.

A small part of me was hysterical. It all made sense now; the reason Itachi was a brilliant kisser, why he knew so much about sex, why he was so good at it. He had been doing it with Madara for gods know how long.

Rooted to the spot where I was, I heard something made a loud bang from behind the closed door where they were. I recoiled a little, and then broke out into a full-out sprint when I heard a _moan_.

I counted the doors as I ran, flinging open the door to my new room and violently throwing myself down onto the bed. My body hit the mattress with a dull _whumph_, and I just lay there, letting tears flow freely from my eyes in a way I hadn't since I was eight.

He had left me again. Not physically, but he was still gone.

This was worse than the first time, because he was just out of reach. Before, I had no idea where he was. He could have been whole nations away, he could have been a few miles from Konoha, or he could have been dead in a pit somewhere. Now I knew where he was, but an impenetrable barrier separated us. And this time, I didn't know how to break it down. I wasn't even sure I wanted to.

It hurt, but I couldn't pinpoint where. When we fucked – because that's all it was just a _fuck_ – I could tell exactly where it hurt. When he showed me the deaths of our parents over and over again, I could tell exactly where it hurt. But now I couldn't. There wasn't an epicentre of pain, like there used to be. This hurt all over.

This wasn't the kind of pain I could deal with. Killing innocents – killing _Naruto_, the most innocent ninja ever – I could blame myself, which was a kind of dealing. Physical pain made you stronger. The burn of sex gives way to pleasure eventually. But I couldn't deal with this.

Still, it was no less than I deserved. Divine punishment or otherwise, this was surely my comeuppance for trusting him, for leaving Konoha, for obeying him, for killing for him. For physically needing him so much it hurt to be alone again.

And it still hurt.

The blanket was smooth under my exposed skin. I dug my fingers into it a little, studying the texture. Soft. Warm. Nothing like him. Oh, he was physically soft and warm, since few humans are cold and hard in body, but he was cold and hard in everything else. Practically devoid of emotion. Rarely, if ever, showing affection.

Even though it was several rooms away, I could have sworn I could hear Itachi's voice.

I pulled myself up from the bed. I needed to move, to feel something. I looked around the room, spotting the door that probably lead to a small bathroom. I pushed it open, stripping off my clothes and dumping them messily on the floor before locking the door with a little too much force. The pain of the metal bolt cutting into my palm as I shoved the lock shut was good. I turned the shower up to full blast on the highest heat setting, and let the room fill with slightly sulphurous steam. The water must come from an underground source.

I watched my reflection fade in the mirror as it was covered in steam. My eyes were the last thing to vanish, dark spots of black in an overwhelmingly white canvas. I liked that. I hated my eyes, and I hated my face. They looked too much like him. They were evidence we were related, that we had some connection I could never break.

I stepped into the shower, relishing as the burning hot water spilled over my shoulders, leaving my skin pink. I tossed my head back, letting my dark hair plaster itself to my pale skin. I just stood there limply, letting water cascade over me. A drop of water hit my eye, making me blink harshly. My vision cleared a little, and I looked down in disgust over my body. The pale skin was suddenly repulsive, every inch had been touched by his hands, every curve and line had been traced and touched and felt. I brought my hand up to my shoulder and dragged a jagged line down my body with my nails. The red stood out bright against the very pale pink. I clawed my skin again and again, watching with morbid fascination as I tore my skin and blood oozed out, running away with the water in rusty rivulets.

When that bored me, I leaned back against the cool tiled wall. My skin was disgusting. My eyes were disgusting. My face was disgusting. I was a disgusting person, and it was all my own doing. I had made myself completely dependent on my brother, to the point I could barely function without him. We had had sex. If that wasn't disgusting, nothing else was.

It was fitting that a pair of murderers should commit another great sin. Still, I had never stolen, raped or pillaged. There was still time for me to expand my horizons of evil. After all, I was a part of a criminal organisation known for its evil. I would certainly have the opportunities.

I turned the heat setting all the way down to cold, and forced myself to face the jet of freezing water. It was painfully sweet on my burned skin.

Turning the water off, I stepped out of the shower. There was a towel on a rail on the wall, which I grabbed to towel my hair roughly with. I was far beyond being gentle with myself. Without drying properly, I put my clothes back on and wandered back into the bedroom. I realised the soft fabric I had been lying on was actually an Akatsuki cloak. My Akatsuki cloak. It didn't get more official than this.

Without really making a conscious decision about it, I left my room and wandered back towards the kitchen. I realised about halfway there I hadn't done too good of a job drying my hair, and it wasn't sticking up right. I really did look like a Chibi-Tachi.

I opened the door to the kitchen. Two people I hadn't seen before, one with long blonde hair held half up in a pony tail and a fringe that covered half of their face, the other with messy red hair. They were talking in low voices, both nursing mugs of coffee. I didn't even acknowledge their presence, and they seemed content to ignore mine. I hunted through the cupboards for a glass, finally finding a set of glassware in the end cupboard.

"Break those and Kakuzu will have your head, un," a voice said from behind me.

"Says the brat who blew up the entire right wing of the last underground base,"

"That explosion was beautiful, Danna, un. Real display of my art!"

"It was a pointless destruction of what was a perfectly adequate set of rooms. You just didn't like the wallpaper,"

"…That might have had something to do with it, un…"

I listened to their conversation with a little amusement. It looked like all the partners were close in this organisation.

"So who are you two, then?" I asked, finger tracing the rim of the glass absent-mindedly. I figured I should at least work out who everyone was here, since I was technically working with them now.

"Sasori," the redhead intoned, looking a little bored.

"Aw, come on, Danna! You can do better than that, un!" The blonde shot an irritated look at the redhead, pouting a little and flipping his hair. Well, that explained the complaint about wallpaper.

"And this is Deidara, a simpleton who blows things up for fun,"

"No fair! It's not just for fun, it's the best kind of art there is, un! Fleeting, transient, yeah?"

"No, brat, clearly the best art is eternal. What is the point of having art if no one can see it?"

"Then those who do see it are lucky, un,"

"Or dead,"

I took my glass and left, not bothering to fill it with anything. I was seriously going to develop a headache if I had to spend any more time in the presence of idiots bickering.

Turning into the corridor, everything was quiet. There was no sound coming from the room Itachi had disappeared into earlier, which was hopefully a good sign. Not that I cared. That bastard could fuck whoever he wanted. Even if I did want to shatter the glass and carve up the nearest human with it every time I thought about it.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Not really relevant to Sasuke self harming in the shower with his own fingernails, but I wanted to throw Sasori and Deidara in there because I love them. Oh look, another set of crazy young men for me to make do dirty things to each other…heheheh…Naturally, both of them are as straight as rainbows because this is me writing, and I am certainly not normal. For instance, I spent a hell of a lot of time reading yaoi fanfiction when I was supposed to be studying for my GCSEs…and I still did very well. Any slipped grades were totally worth it. Guess what I won't be doing this summer? Update within 24 hours, my darlings!**


	19. Can't Complain

**Buried Alive – Chapter 18: Can't Complain**

**A/N: Physically on the verge of collapse, but I'm still updating! Yay! Just because I can't move more than three feet without wanting to fall to the floor and nap or stand up straight without wanting to fall to the floor and nap or breathe without wanting to fall to the floor and nap doesn't mean I can't give you all a surprise! Because I was feeling particularly dodgy (and slightly emotionally devoid…) I am sticking in a dodgy scene. Not ItaSasu, because our favourite sexy brothers are currently fighting. So you get a MadaIta sexy sexy scene. Because I don't feel disturbed enough today. Our dodgy song of the chapter is 'You Know What They Do to Guys Like Us in Prison' by MCR, which, when I found out what it was about, I squee'd like a fangirl and went and read some Frerard (Frerard is Frank Iero x Gerard Way from My Chemical Romance…heheh guilty pleasure…). Just listen to the end bit. That 'NOW!' bit that sounds an awful lot like 'OW!' *giggles*? Yeah. Think…ah…well, you'll see xD I had to stab myself with a spoon to get this right O.O Cookies to you if you can guess how O.o Oh God, and don't eat ice cream when writing lemons…**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: We're cranking it all the way back up to the top of the scale for sexy stuff right now! If you're underage go away and adopt a homeless kitten or sponsor a starving child in Africa instead of reading porn. Heh, like that's going to stop you…If you are not underage but have problems with dubiously consensual homosexual intercourse, then run away too. I'm calling it dubcon because Madara's basically forcing Itachi into it. It's not really all that consensual. **

**Disclaimer: The following is a fan based fan work. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden belong Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release. Or alternatively, 'don't own, don't sue', because I have to buy a whole lot of cold weather stuff for my study tour to Iceland next month and MedLink course in December…yay more expenses…**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Now, but I can't_

_And I don't know_

_How we're just two men as God had made us_

_Well, I can't…well, I can!_

_Too much, too late and just not enough of this_

_Pain in my heart for your dying wish_

_I'll kiss your lips again_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I had no excuse this time. From the moment he had located us at the cottage, I could sense the mild annoyance in him, and I knew that I would be paying for what I did.

By the gods, it wasn't _what_ I did, it was _who_ I did. I had slept with my brother, my beloved Sasuke. I had taken his virginity, completely and without remorse, and now I would be paying for it. For five years, the only person who I had any kind of sexual contact with was Madara, but I had ruined that streak in one night of _indulgence_, as he put it. For all intents and purposes, I had traded my body in exchange for training, so he could do whatever he liked to me. After a life of so many lies, keeping one promise wasn't so bad.

It wasn't as much a case of a jealous lover as a vicious owner.

"Strip," he commanded. I pushed my cloak off my shoulders, letting it pool around my feet. I pulled my shirt over my head, dropping it unceremoniously to the floor, only for my undershirt and my trousers to follow it. I kicked my shoes off, before surrendering my last piece of clothing, my underwear. "Let your hair down," I ripped out my hair tie, letting it fall next to my clothes. My hair fell down my back in a cascade of raven strands. I let a few fall in front of my face, a small shield to my dignity. "On your knees."

Power plays. A display of dominance. To have me on my knees was all it took, for me to have to look up to talk or even to see was enough for him to get off to. To have absolute control over the situation, to decide who comes when and where, was all a part of the game.

I let myself fall to the floor, and stared back up at him, ever-activated Sharingan glaring. Without breaking eye contact, I parted his cloak and lifted a hand to rub him through his trousers. I could feel him hardening under my touch, and one of his hands knotted in my hair. I took this as a cue to unzip his trousers, carefully removing the growing erection from its confines.

I barely had a chance to take a breath before my head was thrust onto his semi-erect member. My cheek connected with the heated flesh, rubbing across the pale skin of my cheek. I opened my mouth, only for my head to be jerked back then slammed forward onto his member. I gagged, my throat constricting hot and tight around his cock. My hair was pulled roughly back, before being shoved back forward, tears involuntarily welling in my eyes. I brought my hand up to stroke the base, trying to appease him, or at least distract him a little. It didn't work. He just kept slamming my face into his groin until he came.

Normally, I would swallow every drop, but I had little control over the movement of my head. Instead, cum dribbled out of the side of my mouth. As I raised a hand to swipe it away, he seized both my wrists and pulled me to my feet.

I could feel Sasuke's chakra roiling outside the room. He was upset, and understandably so. I had taken what I wanted, every last fragment of his shattered innocence, and I had just stripped away the rose tinted cover. He was a smart boy, he had figured out exactly what was going on in this room, and either from morbid curiosity or shock he was probably going to find out far more than he intended.

My arms were tugged none too gently as Madara perched himself on the edge of his bed, yanking me into his arms.

"Ride me like a whore, Ita-kun," he breathed into my ear. "But don't even think about cumming."

"Yes, sensei,"

I reached down and began to slowly stroke his hardening length, still wet from my mouth. I could still taste the saltiness of his cum in my mouth, sticking to the inside of my lips and tongue and throat. It was certainly a taste I was used to, but that didn't mean I specifically liked it. When he was fully erect again, I let go, running my thumb over the tip teasingly.

I straddled his lap a little wider, knees sinking into the soft bed so far that I could feel the head of his cock against my ass. I slowly rubbed myself back and forwards, lowering myself so the sensitive head brushed a line from behind my entrance all the way forward so our cocks were practically touching. A movement of my hips reversed the movement, maddeningly slowly.

Without preparation, I lowered myself onto him. I needed less and less preparation, not nearly as much as Sasuke should have had, but I should have had some, if only to introduce a little bit of lube to make everything a little more enjoyable. I couldn't fault Madara on that; he made sure I enjoyed myself.

But not tonight. He gripped my shoulders and forced me down, the old burn returning only to be phased out by pleasure as I wiggled my hips a little. I was very practised at this, at finding my own prostate. I moaned aloud, unable to stop myself. One hand left my shoulders and gripped my throat instead, triggering all my muscles to tense on reflex.

"Shhh, Ita-kun. We wouldn't want Sasuke-kun or any of the others to know about this, would we?" He growled, his fingers tightening a little.

I nodded, and began to slide my way up. The hand on my shoulder shoved me back down, the grip on my throat tightening again.

"What was that, my gorgeous little slut? I didn't hear you?"

"Y-yes, sensei,"

The grip on my throat went slack, moving to knot into my hair. I let my head fall back a little as I rose up, the friction frustratingly good, before slamming myself back down, our bodies colliding with a slap. My hair was jerked down at the same time, exposing more and more of my throat. I felt incredibly vulnerable, knowing Madara wasn't in the best of moods, and so much of me was exposed. It was very vaguely erotic, although it didn't compare to having Sasuke underneath me. Nothing I could do with my _sensei_ would be that good.

I sped up the pace, landing with less force, but moving faster and faster. My well-trained thigh muscles didn't protest once. I let more moans escape me as my own pleasure increased as I let myself brush over my sweet spot over and over again. It was addictively good. The fingers in my hair suddenly tightened, signalling Madara's climax was close. Although I was getting closer and closer, I wasn't allowed to climax. The fingers twisted into my hair were painfully tight, and the angle my neck was at was increasingly uncomfortable.

With a final tug on my hair, I felt warm liquid coat my insides and heard a sharp exhale. That was my cue to get off, and to make myself scarce before he could change his mind again. Although I was almost painfully hard, I ignored it as I slid off his lap and onto the floor. He just sat there, cock out, watching me with eyes full of possession. That was the part I hated most, more than actually enjoying what he did to me. A small part of me argued that the pleasure was just my body's way of accepting what was happening early on, when I was still a young teenager naïve in the ways of sex, but the rest of me knew better. We were both too good at it for me not to. It was almost automatic.

But it was the possession I hated. As much as I wanted it to be a lie, I had become little more than a sex object, a whore in every sense of the word. My body, my virginity, in exchange for guidance. Sex for payment. The definition of prostitution.

I dressed quickly, but I couldn't find the hair tie.

I left without a backwards glance. Sasuke was gone by the time I stepped out of the room. I silently thanked any deities that were watching. It would have been humiliating and painful to face him right now, since he now knew the full extent of my betrayal.

As guilty as I felt, it was probably better for him to be driven away from me. It was unnatural to lust after your own siblings, and anything that prevented us fulfilling our perverse desires was probably a good thing. I felt no regret for the sex, but I regretted taking him away from Konoha in the first place. For making him dependant on me again. After five years, he had proven he wasn't going to recover, but the caring environment of Konoha was surely preferable to a criminal organisation full of psychopathic murderers, terrorists and monsters.

I loved him, and that was why I had to get rid of him.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Now I've finished choking on ice cream/spoons, I can comment on how completely crazy I feel. I never said I wouldn't write a second Mada/Ita scene, but I didn't really think I would…but I did. Uuuuhhhhh…Are there no normal characters in this fanfic? Am I distinctly unable to write normal characters? The answers are probably, but they have no real part, and no, I am unable to write anything normal. Hell, I once entered a creative writing competition with strict instructions to enter something normal and ended up writing about the graphic dismemberment of a corpse. Guess what? I didn't win. Even if it was brilliant as fuck. Reviews make me happy!**


	20. Throw It Away

**Buried Alive – Chapter 19: Throw It Away**

**A/N: Guess what? I'm still exhausted. And I have two tests to study for, but I'm not doing that right now because I'm writing your latest perverse instalment of perverse perversion at its most perverse pinnacle of perversion. Courtesy of a complete pervert, i.e. me. You may remember the last chapter, in which Madara and Itachi had sex again. If you do not remember it, then go and re-read it, or if you skipped it in the first place because you don't like that shit, then that's basically all that happened. Not all that much plot. But we have plot today! Because I have it all plotted out and stuff, even if I have managed to stretch one chapter out into two so my numbering on my plan is all behind and I can't be bothered to change it because MS Word is a bitch. Song of the chapter is 'Bleed it Out' by Linkin Park. Because it's epic. **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Not really any, except violence and swearing again. No sex. We had that in the last chapter, and then two times before that. Besides, the chance of getting an actually fully consensual lemon in this fic is currently at one in three, considering my previous history. Because I'm creepy and writing creepy Madara being creepy with Itachi is creepy. Four lots of creepy make one disturbed author, and a whole lot of happy readers (I hope!).**

**Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Naruto or anything like that, actually. I'm just a fan. Hell, I don't even own all that much merchandise because I'm cheap and I just write fanfiction and watch the anime and read the manga online. Don't sue me for that, either! Seriously! Pretty broke over here! And my friend is dragging me out for expensive coffee on Friday! I can't afford a lawsuit right now!**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Truth is you can stop and stare_

_Run myself out and no one cares_

_Dug a trench, laid down there_

_With a shovel up out of reach somewhere_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

Since I had discovered Itachi's little secret, I had spent most of my time alone in my room, leaving only to go to the kitchen to hunt up something to eat. The only contact with other people was when other members were using the kitchen at the same time.

They were interesting to observe. Although I hadn't known any of them long, I learned enough about their current lives from exchanging a few hollow pleasantries when I bumped into them in the kitchen. One night, I found Kakuzu hesitantly fishing out a bottle of strong alcohol from a stash in the back of a cupboard, his face uncovered and mumbling about sadomasochistic morons, sudden cravings for good booze and their overindulgent lovers. Shortly after that, the rest of the stash disappeared and both Kakuzu and Hidan weren't seen for a number of hours. Sasori and Deidara almost always appeared as a pair, usually bickering about something. The third argument ended with Sasori shoving Deidara into a wall and kissing him rather violently. I just looked away and pretended not to notice. After all, if you're a criminal, why not be a sexual deviant, too?

From our Leader-sama, I heard very little until I was waylaid on my way back from the kitchen by the person I least wanted to see.

"We have a mission," Itachi said quietly, his fingers closing around the edge of my cloak. I stepped forward, pulling out of his grip. I was doing my best to going back to the way it was before, just pretending that everything was normal and that I was fine. I had a shirt to cover the scratches and a mask to cover my emotions. Back to square one.

"When do we leave?" I replied. My voice sounded alien. Before, talking to my brother was like breathing; completely natural, and generally beneficial if not downright vital. Now it was like breathing in smoke, choking my lungs and making me uncomfortable and light headed.

"Tomorrow. It won't be a long mission, don't pack anything." He turned and walked away, down one of the hallways I hadn't bothered to explore in my general apathy. For a second I thought I detected a slight limp in his step, but it was probably just my imagination.

It's not like I had anything to pack, anyway.

I stalked back to my room, showering to reopen a few of my scratches before flopping down on my bed to sleep. I didn't dream.

The next morning was cold, even with the base's heating system. I wrapped my cloak a little tighter around me, and wandered out of my room. I didn't know where I was supposed to be meeting my brother, but I knew he would probably find me when he wanted to be found. A sinking feeling in my gut prevented me from looking for him in case I found him doing something I didn't want to know about.

A door further down the corridor opened and closed, revealing Itachi. He walked slowly towards me, his scratched forehead protector glowing darkly in the soft lighting. It was the same deliberately slow walk he had used before, when he was delaying the inevitable with Madara.

No. It wasn't inevitable. It had been happening for gods know how many years, and one night with me wasn't about to change that.

"Leave your cloak," he ordered, and I whipped it from my shoulders and threw it back into my room. I would clear it away later.

I silently followed him as he walked the rabbit's warren of tunnels towards the surface. The plaster and paint gave way to compacted earth, the lighting giving way to total darkness, and the air became musty and earthy again. I morbidly imagined this was what a grave smelled like.

Graves. Had they dug Naruto one yet? Did Kakashi and Sakura mourn his loss? Was his name carved on the cenotaph to ninja killed in action?

I didn't deserve an answer to any of those questions. I had regressed again, repressing the guilt and the sadness at my friend's death. In truth, I should have been practically catatonic with depression, but I couldn't bring myself to collapse and break down because I wouldn't get up. And I didn't deserve a breakdown either.

We broke the surface, the light stinging my eyes and rendering me momentarily blind. I recovered quickly, revelling in the way the light spots obscured Itachi from my vision when my eyes were drawn to him. It was automatic, a reflex from childhood. When Itachi was near, my eyes stuck to him and I pandered for attention. I couldn't help it.

He was certainly something to look at. His skin was inhumanly pale under the dappled forest light, most of his body shrouded in the black cloak adorned with red clouds. I knew his hidden body underneath, strong and lean with muscles in the right places, obscenely well proportioned and skin unblemished. He had little scarring, despite being a ninja. His face resembled that of our father's, more masculine than mine, dark eyes masked by the red of the Sharingan.

I envied his control over the Sharingan. It was a control I severely lacked, especially after obtaining the Mangekyou Sharingan, which had an unfortunate tendency to emerge whenever I was under pressure or highly emotional. Without the proper training, it was an immense drain on my chakra. Itachi had made no suggestion that he would be training me in the use of the Mangekyou Sharingan, and although Madara almost certainly knew how to use it, there was no way in hell I would go near him voluntarily again.

Every time the Mangekyou Sharingan emerged, I was reminded of Naruto. And not just of Naruto, but of all of Konoha. A small part of me longed for the place I called home, to wake up in the morning to complete inane missions with two babbling teammates and a perpetually bored-looking sensei, to train and get better under the supervision of the village, to do my part for the place that had practically looked after me since the massacre.

But there was no way I could go back. The gates were barred to me forever now, unless I was taken as a prisoner, and even then I would just be tortured and executed. I was a member of the Akatsuki; therefore I was a traitor to my village.

It wasn't so much being a part of an international criminal organisation that made me a traitor, it was killing Naruto. Naruto, the sweet kid no one could help but love, was dead by my hand. There was no way to turn back time, and there was no punishment I could receive that would bring him back. How many days had it been since he breathed his last?

Too many.

And I had done it for Itachi. Yes, it was on orders from Leader-sama, but it was also what Itachi wanted. I couldn't resist him. It was like my will wasn't my own when it came to him. I felt compelled to obey every word he said; to follow him to the grave if need be, unthinkingly and unquestioningly. In many ways, he had groomed the perfect soldier. This wasn't exactly a new development. I would have jumped off a cliff if he told me to when we were children. I needed him when I was a child as an older brother, but his role had changed. Now he was my entire world, but my entire world was a lie.

"I'm moving out a little way to the east. Continue travelling in a straight line. We should be arriving near our target destination shortly." I felt what little chakra he left unmasked vanish as he leapt to the side, and left my field of vision. I kept running, and as I ran I began to notice something familiar about the landscape. I knew these trees. It was the same mix of trees –

- directly outside of Konoha.

Immediately, I felt two unfamiliar chakra signatures approaching. How had I let this slip? I knew the forest around Konoha too well not to recognise it.

I panicked. If I was caught I would be tortured, then executed. My life would be over, and I wouldn't be able to be near my brother anymore.

No. I deserved to be tortured and executed. I decided should hand myself over, and admit to everything. I froze, letting my chakra unmask completely as the two unfamiliar chakra signatures approached.

Suddenly, Itachi's chakra was felt hard and fast to my side. I watched as he vaulted from the trees over my head into the path of the oncoming ninja, taking them out with precise strikes to the back of the neck. He turned on the spot to face a figure I couldn't see or detect.

"Itachi Uchiha. Return Sasuke to me," the owner of the voice stepped forward, his wild silver hair unmistakable. Kakashi-sensei had arrived.

Itachi didn't reply, instead throwing a shuriken back towards me. I didn't dodge in time, and the blunt face of the shuriken collided with my head. He had thrown it wrong, and my skin was unmarred, but thrown it with enough force to knock me back into a tree painfully hard. My vision faded from full colour to grey to black, and then back to full colour in a disorienting display of optical illusions.

For instance, that couldn't be my brother fighting my sensei. That couldn't be my brother, because he was letting himself lose. That couldn't be my brother, because he was retreating.

He was leaving without me.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yes, it's short, but I'm lazy and tired. I want a nap. And by a nap I mean I want my full six hours of sleep, rather than four and a half or less. Which means I'm going to bed now. So, it looks like Sasuke is going to be a sad panda once again, and we have the reintroduction of Kakashi (and next time, Sakura! Yaaay not.) Just a heads up, I probably won't be updating on Friday the 30****th**** of September because it's my school's open evening and I'll be even more exhausted than normal and I usually go straight to sleep after open evening. I have to do three hours of continual titrations. If you know what that is, you'll understand. If you don't, it's really infuriating chemistry. Reviews make my life a little bit better :3**


	21. Cut a Line

**Buried Alive – Chapter 20: Cut a Line**

**A/N: Happy chapter 20! Despite possibly doing damage to my health, I am updating. Because I love you. Not you specifically, but you as a reader base. That was a general 'you', not a specific 'you', you see how that works? Yeah. So, as I mentioned before, there will likely not be an update tomorrow because I will probably be literally unable to move and I'll probably just crash the minute I come home. It's my school open evening where little children from the local primary schools come and look around and decide if they want to come to my school, and I'm working in the chemistry department, which means repeating titrations over and over again to people who have no idea what I'm doing and do not appreciate how hard it is to do accurately. It's really frustrating. Song of the chapter is 'I want to kill myself by shooting myself in the face' by me. Oh, no, actually, it's something completely different. It's 'Kissing You Goodbye' by The Used. Oh dear, oh dear, my taste has gotten far too emo…**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warning: None, except Sasuke being emo and Suckura Whoreno being annoying. Dude, except dream sequences, there won't be any lemons until for a little while. Unless I decide to throw in a Madara x Itachi lemon…how much do you love me? **

**Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own Naruto. If I did, I would be fabulously rich and probably not dying of exhaustion because school is a bitch and I do too much. So don't sue me, please! I can't fit a lawsuit or any court hearings into my schedule! It's already pretty full! The only days off I have anymore are Tuesdays and Sundays…grumblegrumble…**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Trust to take the right to leave me_

_Waiting under dark clouds for the rain_

_Praying lightning strikes a change_

_As history gets lost_

_And as I took that final breath I felt alive_

_Meeting God to stand in line_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I must have blacked out at some point, though I vaguely recall the rhythm of Kakashi's footsteps as he carried me and the voices of various other people, usually calling my name or talking too quietly for me to hear. I didn't really want to hear anyway.

The next coherent point was waking up to a pair of big green eyes, a little too close to my face for comfort. I hated to think what the owner of those eyes was doing so close to my face in the first place.

"Sasuke-kun! You're awake!" Sakura squeaked, blushing and moving her face away from mine, a sickly sweet smile plastered across her face

"Thanks for pointing that out, Sakura," Kakashi rolled his visible eye. "Welcome back, Sasuke,"

I sat up, looking around. I was back in my bedroom in Konoha. The walls were still white, the Uchiha fan was still stuck to the wall, and my furniture was all in the same place. It was like waking up from a very odd dream.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked, scanning the room with drowsy eyes. Sakura was perched next to me on my bed, hands clasped in her lap and a blush still visible on her cheeks. Kakashi leant against the far wall, little orange book still in hand.

"A few hours. It's almost midnight," I glanced at the window. True enough, a waning moon rose above the trees in the not so distant forest. For a moment I wondered if Itachi was somewhere in those trees, watching and waiting for me to-

What could I do? Did I want to go back to him, or did I try to rebuild my life here in Konoha? Abandoning me again and barely fighting Kakashi before retreating gave the impression he was leaving me for Konoha on purpose. Knocking me out made me a victim rather than a villain, even though if they knew what I had done I would be locked up in a flash.

"You should both head home; you don't need to stick around. I'll just go back to sleep," I yawned for emphasis, suddenly anxious for them to go away again. These were the people I had robbed the worst. I felt guilt claw at my heart being near them, especially when they were being kind to me.

"You have a slight concussion from the shuriken. I'm here to wake you every four hours, and Sakura insisted on coming with me. I thought you'd want to wake up to a familiar face in your own bed rather than in a hospital," Kakashi said, turning a page, though his eye didn't follow the writing. "Sakura, you should go home. I need you awake tomorrow,"

"Alright," she pouted. "See you tomorrow, Sasuke-kun!" She practically skipped out of the door, banging it shut on the way out. When the front door slammed, Kakashi shut his book. He was going to say something serious, and it could only be about Naruto. Was he about to accuse me of killing him? No, or I would be locked up in a cell or dead in a ditch somewhere. Was he about to ask me for information on Akatsuki? It's not like I knew anything of importance, anyway.

"Sasuke. Since you have been gone, something happened. Something that affected you, me and Sakura very personally," Oh gods, he didn't know I knew. I had to fake it, or dredge up all the broken emotions I hadn't let myself feel at the time, or he'd know something was wrong. "Naruto – Naruto's dead, Sasuke. He was killed on a mission looking for you. A kunai to the heart, we don't know who, but whoever did it is going to pay. Slowly," A glint of something truly terrifying appeared in his eye, accompanied by intense sadness.

"B-but it's Naruto. How can he die?"

"Even he wasn't indestructible,"

"I don't want to believe it,"

"I'll take you to the memorial stone when you're all clear on the head injury,"

"But it's Naruto,"

"Even Naruto wasn't immune to death, no matter how alive he was. It's death, Sasuke. It catches up with all of us eventually. We're ninja; we're living on borrowed time. One of these days I won't dodge an attack fast enough or I'll fall into the wrong trap and I won't come out again. So will you. So will every ninja in this village, except the lucky few who live long enough to retire. For all the power we have, we're only human, in the end," Kakashi spoke softly, philosophically, staring at the wall above my head. "I'll let you get some sleep. See you in four hours,"

He walked out of the room, and I closed my eyes, willing myself to go back to sleep, but it wouldn't come. Instead, I lay there half awake with images of Itachi and Naruto, melding and forming into a blob of regret that weighed heavily on my psyche.

Yes, death was a part of me as a ninja. It was my job to complete missions, and if killing was a part of it, then so be it. But when it was Naruto, and when I specifically went against orders and killed him, it was different. Death was a part of me, murder wasn't.

I briefly wondered how other murderers managed to conceal their crimes. They dug holes and buried the body, or took it far away and burned it and scattered the ashes to the wind, or threw it into a river or ocean, or fed it to wild animals. Then they went home and continued to live their lives like normal.

Yes, that's what I would do. I'd try to live my life normally, going back to being a member of team seven, even if Naruto was gone. I'd work hard because Itachi had given me the opportunity to go back, even at the cost of having any kind of relationship with him. If it was what he wanted, I would do it. It would be good for me, too. Provided no one found out about my brief stint in a criminal organisation, my murders or my sexual relationship with my own brother, I would be fine.

Four hours of brooding later, Kakashi stuck his head round the door to check that I was still alive. I almost wished I wasn't, but death by concussion was a terribly feeble way to go.

The collection of gifts was gone from the top of my dresser. Someone had removed them, possibly taken away for evidence or something. I missed their presence. It was like Itachi had never come back, and like the last few days never happened.

But I knew they happened. I could feel it, a perverse longing to be back outside the walls of Konoha with Itachi, to be back underground or over ground, anywhere so long as I could be near him. Although the betrayal still stung, I still wanted to be near him. He was magnetic. And I couldn't help but crave him, crave his body.

Once again, I felt guilt pierce my heart. It was because of Itachi that I had left, and that I had killed Naruto. Still, I was the one wholly to blame for Naruto's death. I was the one holding the kunai, and I was the one standing over the corpse. I was the one that had benefitted from his death in obtaining the Mangekyou Sharingan, and once again I was dependant on Itachi. I needed him to train me to use the Mangekyou Sharingan. I was horribly unsafe to be around without the training.

But regardless of training, orders or guilt, I would stay in Konoha for Itachi and live.

Although death was sort of preferable, it was all for Itachi. It was always all for Itachi.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yes, it's terribly feeble and pathetic, but I'm dying over here. I have to memorise a whole bunch of French and there's no way in hell I'll be able to because my brain shut down about four hours ago and I've just been kind of grinding this out. I can't manage a full chapter, sorry! Not a great excuse, but at least I moved the plot along a bit. And we got an appearance of our favourite pink haired character, Sakura! Yay! *shoots self in head*. Still, I want to take this author's note to remind you that there will not be any updates tomorrow because I will be sleeping, likely covered in acid burns and probably with metal embedded in my fingers again, which I will have to dig out with a knife or a razor blade at a later date with much pain because I'm just that hardcore. That is, if I don't kill myself first by stabbing myself through the eye socket with a burette. I would also like to take this opportunity to ask you to review :3 reviews make me a happy little bunny!**


	22. Get Down

**Buried Alive – Chapter 21: Get Down **

**A/N: Due to it being Nychta's birthday, I am writing a lemon! Yes! I didn't specifically plan for it to go this way, but since this chapter and the next can go in any order, I thought I'd change them around as a little birthday present. Don't worry, no plot is affected or anything, and you can kind of skip this chapter if you're not great with the lemon. So, I hope no one was put off by my not updating yesterday night, but I had a good excuse. I still haven't recovered full feeling in my fingers, and I can't scratch my hands without causing pain because of basically having my hands dipped in acid and having alkali dripped on them at regular intervals for three hours, plus doing very complicated experiments bla bla bla song of the chapter is 'Government Hooker' by Lady GaGa because I'm running low on slutty songs that are actually kinky. I am a little bit drunk to write this because my research consisted of a bondage website. Oh dear lord, I didn't know people did some of that stuff. Oh dear, I just found a copy of volume 8 of Vampire Knight…that's one dirty cover, Matsuri Hino!**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Happy birthday, Nychta! As a result of you being fourteen (arg I feel so guilty for this…I feel like a paedophile, but since I was reading the bad stuff at your age I can't really comment…) I am heaping on the lemon! Because Sasuke and Itachi are separated at the moment, guess who gets it on instead? Yes, Madara and Itachi! And Madara is PISSED. So you can guess what's happening now…Graphic man on man sex, full of horrible kinky shit, but no literal shit because even I don't stretch that far. I think we can all appreciate in this chapter how much of a huge douchebag Madara truly is…poor Ita-kun **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto who might be even kinkier than I am, for all I know. However, the crux of the matter is that his characters would (possibly) not do this stuff in canon – or at least, not do it on screen in canon – ergo this is a fanwork, so don't sue me! Think of it as a compliment, even! **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_As long as I'm your hooker_

_(Back up and turn around)_

_As long as I'm your hooker_

_(Get your hands on the ground)_

_As long as I'm your hooker_

_(Back up and turn around)_

_As long as I'm your hooker_

_(Get down)_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

"You let him escape." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. Through the eye hole in the mask, I could see the Sharingan swirling angrily.

"Yes, Madara-sama," I said, forcing myself to bow my head a little in submission. I wouldn't regret my decision. It was better for Sasuke to be kept away from me, to try to be a normal teenage boy rather than be so dependent on me, although I feared it was too late.

I was, however, prepared to pay for my decision.

"You let him _escape!_" His palm collided with my cheek, sending my head snapping against the wall painfully. I let my body move with the slap, even though I could have rolled or blocked it easily. This was the consequence I was willing to deal with. It was for Sasuke. If it was for Sasuke, I would do anything.

"Yes, Madara-sama," I spoke softly, resisting the urge to stroke my reddening cheek. I could feel waves of anger radiate off him, in a way I hadn't felt in a long time, and even then rarely directed at me.

"Even when you were specifically under _orders_ to bring him _here_, to me, you let him go!" He lifted me up by the collar of my cloak, forcing my head back, before backhanding me across the same cheek. "You are such a disappointment, Ita-kun!" I recognised the ironically playful note in his voice, recognised his intention.

He hadn't been this angry in a while. He rarely showed that anger to anyone but me, instead bottling it up and focusing on scheming around the problems and coming out stronger for them. But the bottling could only go on for so long, and I took the brunt of the pressure when it overflowed. It was my duty.

"Yes, Madara-sensei," I switched honorific, indicating that I knew what he intended for me.

"I want you stripped and bent over my bed, now. I _will_ have answers tonight," he growled. I complied, slowly shrugging my cloak from my shoulders, peeling off my outer layers and stepping out of my underwear. I ripped my hair tie out a little too forcefully, pulling out a few dark strands with it, and dropping it on top of my cloak. I hated having my hair loose any time except while sleeping.

I walked towards the bed, setting my elbows down on the surface of the mattress in the same spot where he had fucked me with Sasuke outside the door.

"Head up, slut," he whispered in my ear, reaching around my face with some sort of gag. Two hooks were fixed in the sides of my mouth, the semi-sharp ends digging into the soft flesh of the insides of my cheeks. I couldn't shut my mouth to suppress any noise, or close my mouth to refuse to suck him off. One more piece of control lost. "Ita-kun, feel free to make as much noise as you want."

Without any kind of preparation, he slammed into me. Despite my experience, it still hurt. Madara wasn't exactly small, and he wasn't trying to be gentle, either. He deliberately missed my prostate, over and over, setting my insides tingling and pleading for some kind of contact. His pace sped up, fingers gripping harder and harder into my hips, but I was only semi-hard. Although the loss of control and the pain were turn-ons, there wasn't enough of either for me to appreciate him, and combined with his anger I didn't want to exhaust myself before he was finished. I wanted to be able to walk out of the room, rather than have to be carried or crawl.

With a dark moan, he came, riding out his orgasm and coating my insides with his seed. I tightened around him as he pulled out, trying to reawaken his desire.

"Not having fun, Ita-kun?" One hand reached around to fondle my length. "What about if I did _this_?" He made a series of hand signs, before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. Standing in his place was Sasuke, naked and pouting a little with dark eyes full of lust. It hurt to see a pale imitation of my brother when I'd much rather have the real thing, but a perverse side of me loved seeing my brother standing over me with such lustful eyes. But it wasn't him, and I didn't want my memories of Sasuke to be tainted by Madara's scheming.

"Please sensei, don't do that," I whispered. Sasuke's – _Madara's_ – hand reached around to pump my hardening length. I could feel myself getting harder in his hand; feel the pleasure of this imitation's palm against my sensitive flesh. It made me angry at myself for being such a whore.

"Don't you love feeling your little brother's hand on your cock, Ita-kun? Don't you want to feel your _precious otouto's_ cock inside your ass?" The hand moved faster, it's twin moving to draw circles around the sensitive skin around my hole.

"Don't say-" I protested quietly, my speech muffled by the awkward gag.

"Answer my question, Ita-kun!" Two slim fingers dipped into my ass, the spilled cum acting as a lubricant as the fingers played with my loosened entrance.

"Yes, sensei," A third finger joined them, sliding in next to them as the pumped and wiggled and twisted. A fourth digit slid in beside the other three, Sasuke's thin, delicate fingers spreading and splaying my entrance wider. Suddenly, the fingers drew together, pressing in up to the knuckle, then drawing out and forcing their way back in. I relaxed as much as I could, realising exactly what he was trying to do. I felt painfully stretched as the widest part of Sasuke's hand pushed in, before a small relief as his fingers closed into a fist inside me. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, but with the gag it came out more like a sigh.

"You just love to be fisted like a whore, Ita-kun, especially when I look like your own brother. Gods, you're such a perverted whore. It's a wonder he's as obsessed with you as he is, considering what you're really like," Madara leaned closer to my ear, his voice lowering to a whisper. "Unlike Sasuke-kun, I know you're really just a slutty, depraved little bitch, deep down inside. Just like Izuna."

Sasuke's slim fists drove further inside me, twisting before pulling back a little, setting a fast, pumping rhythm. I moaned at the intrusion, despite Madara's words. It was just our two bodies again, and with Madara in Sasuke's form, it was close to spending another night with Sasuke, although I felt deeply guilty about enjoying it so much with this sick illusion.

"So, Ita-kun, how about those questions you're going to answer for me?" Madara twisted a pale fist a little, brushing exactly over a spot that sent my eyes rolling with pleasure.

"Y-yes, sensei," I choked out.

"Why did you let Sasuke go?"

"B-because…aah…I'm not g-good for him...uuh…" The fist twisted inside me, knuckles brushing over a most sensitive part of my body.

"But I ordered you to bring him to me. Releasing him at a later date goes directly against that order. Do you have an excuse?"

"N-no, sensei,"

"Then do you understand that you deserve whatever punishment I decide to give you, Ita-kun?"

"Of course…hah…sensei,"

"Good," his voice was full of smiles as he forcefully ripped Sasuke's fist from my entrance, drawing a small yelp from my parted lips as my hole was spread painfully wide. "I don't think you've enjoyed tonight as much as you could have, Ita-kun, and I'm very disappointed," He dispelled the illusion, returning to his previous appearance. Still bent over, I felt him slip something small and smooth into my ass, positioning it carefully with his probing fingers. It began to vibrate, shivering inside my ass directly against my prostate. I shook with it, the pleasure unbearably good. "New orders: put on your cloak, and fetch me a bottle of sake from the kitchen. And don't even think about dropping that vibrator."

I stood shakily, bending down to pick up my cloak. I was incredibly stretched from the fisting, and I had to tighten my muscles to prevent the little object sliding out. With awkward steps, I made my way out of the door and down the corridor, silently praying that no other members were about, and that if they were that they wouldn't notice my loose hair and my lack of shoes, not to mention my stiff walk.

The trip to the kitchen was mercifully free of incidence, but painfully slow. I could feel warm cum dripping out of my ass to run down my legs, but I didn't dare pause to wipe it away. The vibrator managed to stay in the same spot, rubbing mercilessly against my prostate with every step. I took the sake from the cupboard and almost ran back, feet silent on the tiled floor. Without knocking, I flew through the bedroom door.

"What a good whore you are, Ita-kun! You can go back to moping or glaring at walls or plotting or whatever it is you young Uchihas do these days. I have a few plans to modify. You'll be hearing from me shortly." Madara took the sake from me and pulled the vibrator from my ass. I picked up my clothes and walked quickly out of the door, ignoring the slight sting I felt from the rough treatment.

Still, it was worth it. Sasuke's happiness was worth the pain and the humiliation, and worth enduring the sick fetishes of my disgusting _sensei_. Sasuke would be happier, or at least healthier, back in Konoha without me.

It would be like we never reunited.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: So, did you love it? Did you hate it? Can you wait another 24 hours for another installation of Buried Alive? Can someone pass me a box of Kleenex and some body spray, because I have some evidence to conceal? I wrote this in about three hours with 'Government Hooker' playing throughout my breaks, which ended with me slut-dancing and almost choking to death on coke, which was not a good idea. Ooh, and I have a new fanfic up! A dramatic turn away from the sick and scary shit in Buried Alive, 'The Greatest Lesson You'll Ever Learn' is a cute and fluffy KakaIru fic. So, if you're feeling guilty for reading some hardcore shit, go read that. Oh, and Izuna is Madara's brother. ** Reviews make the world go 'round! :3**


	23. Pieces of My Heart

**Buried Alive – Chapter 22: Pieces of My Heart**

**A/N: I just finished watching the film 'Il y a longtemps que je t'aime', possibly one of the most…ah…**_**French**_** films I've seen in a long time. Because it's French. But it's very depressing, or at least I found it depressing, but then I am very easy to make feel dead inside. Perfect for getting into the mood for this fic, no? I'm proud to say I no longer need subtitles for French films because I'm just that cool. So, did you all enjoy that very dodgy lemon? So, did you all hate that very dodgy lemon? Do you want to give me cookies? Do you want to throw sharp objects at me? Well, either way you have no idea where I live so both are impossible – unless you're one of the few people who I know personally who read this, and even then you'd have to kill me/give me cookies at school because you don't know where my house is (and no, I'm not telling you). Song of the chapter is 'When You're Gone' by Avril Lavigne, whose music I generally detest, but I am physically unable to listen to this song without crying my eyes out because it's depressing as hell. And I figured I should put in something a little less self destructive that isn't about self harm. **

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: No sex here! I'm still reeling from that lemon. Other than having a real tear jerker song, and Sasuke being morbidly depressive, not all that much. I just thought I'd point out right here that although I have the opportunity to slip it in, I'm not going to write any self harm. Once again, I point out that Sasuke is not a good role model for life, and that self harm is very bad, and scars take forever to fade, and that it isn't worth it. Go talk out your problems instead. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters, settings, bla bla bla. It all belongs to Masashi Kishimoto, who actually makes money from writing a glorified fanfiction-like sequel where the characters are old enough to fancy, and then killing off a whole bunch of characters then freakin' resurrecting them! Dude! I know the first rule of resurrection is 'if the author wants a character to come back, they will', but it's generally regarded as bad practise!**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I always needed time on my own_

_I never thought I'd need you there when I cry_

_And the days feel like years when I'm alone_

_And the bed where you lie is made up on your side_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

The Sun rose, and I finally got rid of Kakashi.

The first thing I did was shower, carefully sponging over my scratches and trying not to get shampoo in any cuts. I couldn't damage myself. That would be defeating the point of trying to live normally. I was pretty sure normal teenagers didn't actively cause damage to themselves. I stood under the warm water of the shower, letting water run into my eyes. There wasn't enough pain to activate the Sharingan reflexively, but just enough to make my eyes unfocused and sting. It wasn't damaging, just uncomfortable.

When I stepped out of the shower, I realised I hadn't changed the towels in far too long. I had meant to replace them a little while ago, but I wasn't around to do it.

A little annoyed at myself, I scrubbed at my hair with the old towel, squeezing out every drop of water I could manage. The rough noise of the towel rubbing over my scalp blocked out all other sounds; the drip of the shower head, the birds outside, the noise from the populated part of Konoha a short walk away. It was all too familiar, all too normal.

I dug a small tub of antiseptic cream out of the bathroom medicine cabinet. It was about six years old and barely used, only a few strokes of a pair of fingers indicating it had ever been used.

"_But it hurts, Nii-san!" I complained as Nii-san's cool fingers coated in white cream rubbed over the deep cut on my arm. Tears welled in my eyes at the stinging pain as the cream sunk into the wound._

"_I know Sasuke, but you need to stay still just for a moment," His other hand reached up to stroke my hair, instantly calming me down with his touch._

"_Fine, I'll do it for Nii-san," I was rewarded with a small smile._

I changed my mind. I really wasn't in much danger of infection.

I returned to my room, dressing quickly. I looked through my drawers a second time, just in case the row of trinkets Itachi had given me had been hidden away, but they were definitely gone. I felt a pang of sadness at losing yet another connection to my brother.

I made my bed, wiped down the mirror and windows in both the bathroom and my bedroom, changed the towels and rearranged the various ointments, creams and lotions inside the medicine cabinet, finding a few anti-aging creams that had probably belonged to Mother. They all ended up in the bin. I didn't need them, anyway.

As I walked out of the bathroom with the bin full of useless jars, I felt the oddest craving. I set down the bin beside the door, and crossed the small patch of corridor to stand in front of Itachi's old bedroom door. The pale face of the door stared back at me, blankly challenging me to open it and step inside. Almost numb, I pushed it open.

I was hit by his smell again, but it wasn't so foreign anymore. Instead it was painfully familiar, almost like his arms were around me and I was safe within his embrace. For a second, I wanted nothing more than to jump out of the window and run, find my way back to the Akatsuki base and fall back into his arms, no matter who else had been in them since.

I stepped into the room, taking the six paces across the room until my knees hit his bed and I let myself fall forwards onto the mattress, where his scent still clung overpoweringly to the soft fabric of the quilt.

"_Did you have another nightmare, Otouto?" Nii-san's calm, quiet voice cut through the darkness. I nodded, and ran forwards into his open arms, letting tears I didn't notice were falling soak into his pyjamas. "It was just a dream, Sasuke. You can stay with me tonight."_

I pulled my face up from the quilt and rolled the rest of my body into a sitting position on the bed. Crawling forwards, I reached for the small book on his bedside table. I pulled open the cover, and a small photograph of us as small children fell out onto my knees. I dropped the book and picked up the photo. In it, a tiny version of me was giggling wildly and clinging to the front of Itachi's shirt, who rested one hand on top of my head and smiled.

It was one of the few photos I had ever seen of him smiling because it was such a rare expression. I had to earn every smile, and cameras were rarely around when I needed them the most, which made this photo special. The pure glee on my face and the happiness reflected in Itachi's innocent, younger face were captured perfectly in time, a single snapshot of an event I was too young to remember.

I slipped the photo into my pocket and reopened the little book. It was a daily planner, with events like 'training with Father' or 'team meeting' listed in perfectly neat handwriting. I flipped through, finding other events like 'parent's wedding anniversary' or 'Shisui's party' underlined in red. Finally, I found 'Sasuke's eighth birthday' ringed in red, with a small list of ideas for presents listed next to it in impossibly tiny writing.

I shut the book and set it back in its place. With a quick glance towards the window for any observers, I slid off the bed and wandered over to the dresser. The weapons pouch resting on the top was still full of old weapons, a collection of kunai, shuriken and a sleeve of senbon needles, forgotten and unsharpened. I blew the dust off a family photo in a wooden frame, the twin of the one I had in my own bedroom, but without my brother and I folded out.

The wardrobe was still full of his clothes. I ran my fingers over the hangers, over the tops of shirts and the hems of trousers, over the silk of ceremonial robes and through the black tassels on the sash of his best and most expensive set of clothing. It had only ever been worn twice.

"_My deepest condolences on the loss of your friend, Itachi."_

I slipped my hands into pockets, looking for anything that was personal enough to provide the connection I so desperately needed. Itachi's unique sent radiated from the clothes, and I resisted the urge to throw myself against them, to pull them off the hangers and lay them all out on the floor and just lie there, surrounded by his old clothes. None of them would fit any more. In fact, they were closer to my own size.

On a whim, I pulled out an ordinary shirt; dark blue, high collar, Uchiha fan on the back. I held it out in front of me, looking for invisible rips or specs of dirt, before balling it up and walking out of the room, not shutting the door behind me. I flew down the stairs, my mind full of my brother.

I didn't hear the front door open, and I didn't hear footsteps.

"Sasuke-kun! We've come to visit you!" Sakura's bright and cheerful voice penetrated the sacred silence of my house as she and Kakashi stepped into my living room. I quickly hid the shirt behind my back, schooling my expression into something a little more stoic.

"You're up. You must be feeling a little better," Kakashi said, pulling out his book and leaning against the door frame. "I'll give you two a minute."

"But I-" I protested.

"Come on, Sasuke-kun!" Sakura gripped my arm and pulled me into the living room. When she finally let go, I took two steps back and held my hands behind my back, twisting my fingers into the fabric of the shirt I still clung to.

"What do you want, Sakura?"

"I just wanted to tell you that I'm really glad you're back," She blushed, clasping her hands in front of her. "It must have been so horrible, being the captive of that awful organisation. Who was keeping you prisoner? I bet it was that brother of yours, the one who-"

"Yes, Sakura, my brother was the one who-"

"-Itachi, that's his name! Anyway, I wanted you to know that I'm more than willing to help you kill that bastard, especially since he was probably the one who killed Naruto and -"

"No, he wasn't! That was-"

"-I'll help you get your revenge for your family! I didn't understand until-"

"Shut up! Just shut up, you stupid bitch!" My anger boiled over, bursting out in a yell.

My eyes burned, and suddenly the world fading into shades of stark black and white, the furniture of my living room bleeding away to leave myself and Sakura facing each other in an empty room. The anger I felt towards Sakura bled from my heart into my head, and I wanted her to feel _pain_, the same pain that I had felt for years.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I recognised what was happening and realised it wasn't a good idea, but I was too far gone to stop.

Suddenly, I felt something collide with my chest and the world regained its colour. Sakura was collapsed on the floor, and I was pinned to the wall by a very angry Kakashi.

"_You_ did it. _You_ killed Naruto."

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yay, moving the plot forwards! Sasuke is now in biiiiig trouble…I think that about sums it up. As much as I would have liked to torture Sakura just there, I don't think that would really have been appropriate or realistic, since Sasuke has no idea how to actually use the Mangekyou Sharingan properly. Although telling her to 'shut up bitch' is definitely a win. And yes, Sasuke did fly off the handle there a little but 1) he was very fragile right there and 2) Sakura's an annoying bitch and 3) he has little control over the Mangekyou Sharingan. A little extreme? Yes. Would I have done the same in his place and tried to torture Sakura? Probably. So, from one extreme to the next – torturing Itachi with sex to not torturing Sakura with epic jutsus. Yay. Reviews means cookies for you and happiness for me :3**


	24. Let Mercy Come

**Buried Alive – Chapter 23: Let Mercy Come**

**A/N: And on the eighth day, God said, "Let there be Fanfiction!" Now, although I am not God, and the week is only seven days long, I do declare that there be fanfiction created for the enjoyment of the many fangirls of ItaSasu! And it is certainly divine! Although not so godly… Still, here is your latest instalment in the rollercoaster life of Sasuke Uchiha, who, if you do not remember what happened last time, accidentally sort of used the Mangekyou Sharingan on Sakura, prompting Kakashi to realise that Sasuke killed Naruto. So the shit has really hit the fan, and Sasuke is standing right in front of it. Song of the chapter is 'What I've Done' by Linkin Park, although I don't think Sasuke is really up to forgiving himself or facing it without trying to kill himself or anything right now…SasUKE is more SasEMO right now…**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warning: Language warning for swearing, although if you're reading hard yaoi then I don't think you're so much of a delicate flower that you can't take someone shouting FUCK at you. See what I just did there? I'm lame! No yaoi right here in this chapter because shit's all a bit fucked. Gratuitous swearing over, onto the disclaimer!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto for obvious reasons, the first of which is that I am a sixteen year old English girl and not Masashi Kishimoto. I have zero drawing skills, which is why I write fanfic instead, unlike Kishimoto who has zero writing skills but draws instead, and thus Shippuden was born. To quote Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series, "It's like a fanfic, only written by actual writers!"**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I'll face myself_

_To cross out what I've become_

_Erase myself_

_And let go of what I've done_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I sat on the floor of my cell, knees drawn up to my chest, a bruise purpling on the side of my face courtesy of Sakura and nursing a broken wrist.

I had been back barely a day and I had already been exposed. After accidentally unleashing my Mangekyou Sharingan on Sakura, Kakashi had put two and two together and recognised the symbol on my eyes was different to the regular Sharingan. It appeared there were many scrolls I had yet to read.

After binding me with a jutsu and establishing that Sakura was undamaged, I was promptly hauled off for trial, very quickly found guilty, and thrown in a cell pending execution.

I hadn't bothered to defend myself either against Kakashi or in court. I was still unable to properly control the Mangekyou Sharingan, so any use was a huge drain on my chakra, leaving me weakened. There was no way I would ever be able to defend myself against my sensei – former sensei – without it, and even then it would be a question of luck, whether my brain determined the situation was distressing enough to automatically defend itself.

In trial, I didn't defend myself because I was as guilty as hell. Since I was already condemned to die before the trial started, I might as well speed the process up a little.

What I hadn't expected, however, was the terrifying accuracy of the interrogation.

"_You killed Naruto on orders from Akatsuki,"_

"_Yes."_

"_The same Akatsuki your elder brother is a part of,"_

"_Yes."_

"_You no longer harbour strong resentment towards your brother,"_

"_Yes."_

"_Describe your relationship with Itachi Uchiha,"_

That was where things started to get complicated. On the one hand, Itachi was already thoroughly doomed by his previous actions and in being part of Akatsuki, therefore telling the full truth about our relationship wouldn't damage him further realistically. On the other hand, it was like throwing away another part of myself, a part that held our taboo relationship in such high regard that it would hurt to lose it.

So, naturally, I chose to reveal all.

"_I had sex with my brother,"_

_The interrogator paused, letting slip all the emotions his covered face lacked._

"_You had sexual intercourse with Itachi Uchiha?"_

"_Yes,"_

Those six words had, in addition to my already sealed fate, caused my humiliation. Even if there was a chance a very misguided individual might think of me in any positive light, those six words had essentially prevented that from happening. Not only had I admitted to murder, confessed to taking orders from Akatsuki, but I had had sex with another man, my own brother.

In comparison to murder, it wasn't much, but in addition to murder it made me sound like such a twisted and despicable person. I wasn't about to argue with anyone who thought that. I was sick, twisted, hateful, disgusting and despicable, and so much more besides. I would be executed for murder, but I was being humiliated in interrogation for everything else.

"_You bastard! You fucking bastard!" I had rarely heard such rage in Sakura's voice. Lighting fast, her fist snapped back and ploughed forward into the side of my face, knocking me back against the wall with a sickening crunch as I landed on my wrist. "I can't believe I ever thought of you as a _friend_, you revolting brotherfucker!" _

I resisted the urge to smile at the phrase she had coined. 'Brotherfucker', a truly hilarious variant on 'motherfucker', and infinitely more applicable. After all, considering my mother was little more than a pile of ashes in a hole in the ground on my property, that was rather impossible.

Somewhere in my mind, I registered myself unhinging, and more than a little. It was the questions, the answers, and the certainty of my imminent death by violent and painful means that did it. I don't think there's a person alive who could sit quietly in my place and contemplate their actions and retain their full sanity. I had certainly lost the bulk of mine long ago, if what everyone around me kept saying.

"_He's completely switched off,"_

"_He's barely in there anymore,"_

"…_no care for his own well being…"_

"_..nothing but his brother…no wonder they…"_

"…_there's nothing for it…"_

On the contrary, I was very much present in my own mind. I didn't 'switch off' at all. Although the third and fourth points were very accurate, in what parts I heard. I didn't care if I was going to be executed, and there was nothing in the world but my beloved brother.

Yes, on the brink of death I felt that I could finally think what I had been denying myself to think, to feel, for years. I loved my brother. I loved Itachi. I loved him as the Nii-san I had been so reliant on as a child and I loved him as the man I had become addicted to once again.

Instead of some heavenly flash of white light beaming down upon my location or the fiery flames of hell consuming my body, there was nothing but the slight chill of the cell and the throbbing in my damaged wrist and bruised face. As powerful a revelation it should have been, I didn't feel the need to jump up and down and laugh and cry and sing it to the world. Instead, I felt myself slip a little further into the apathy that was growing inside my head.

As much as it should have mattered, it could never matter because I would never see Itachi again.

"_Sasuke Uchiha, we hereby find you guilty of voluntary defection, sexual perversion and first degree murder,"_

"_Yes,"_

"_Do you accept the charges against you?"_

"_Yes,"_

"_Do you accept your punishment by the laws of Konohagakure? Execution is the only punishment for your crimes,"_

"_Yes," _

And so, my fate was sealed. I was just counting down the hours until someone fetched me from the cell and lead me to wherever I would die.

Morbidly, I wondered who would have the job of executing me. As much as Sakura might like to do it, she was just a genin, and the taking of a life would probably destroy her in her current fragile state of mind. It would probably be one of the ninja from torture and interrogation, or from the civilian law enforcement. I wanted someone I knew to end my life. Death by a stranger was akin to death on the battlefield or death on a mission; there was a poetic honour to it I didn't deserve. Since I had no family to do it, a part of me desired my former sensei, Kakashi to strike the final blow. I didn't deserve it, but it would probably be a mercy and bring some form of retribution. An eye for an eye.

Eyes were what got me into this mess in the first place. If the Uchiha clan didn't possess the Sharingan, we never would have been powerful enough to merit wiping out. If Itachi hadn't had the Sharingan, he would never have shown me our clan's death. If I had never awakened my Sharingan, then there would be no benefit from killing Naruto, and I likely would have gone undetected until I put an end to my own life.

Would I be able to do it? Death no longer seemed as bad as I thought it would. As a ninja, being prepared to fall in battle was a way of life. Every ninja had their affairs in order from the first mission they go on to the last so there are no complications to those they leave behind. My own last will and testament was locked in the room in my house with all the unread scrolls, although I doubted it would be of any use to anyone. It stated all my property was to go to the people of Konoha and the Uchiha Compound was to be demolished, a foregone conclusion now I was a convicted criminal.

I regretted being unable to spend more time in Itachi's room.

My thought train was interrupted by a sudden explosion coming from somewhere above me, followed by several screams and someone yelling something about securing the prisoners. The explosions continued in a rhythmic sequence, getting closer and closer. Surely this wasn't some kind of mind game before my execution? Why would Konoha go through the trouble of such an elaborate hoax?

I heard footsteps running hard and fast on the concrete of the corridor outside, then a dull, wet squelch as the footsteps stopped. There was a slight gurgling noise before something heavy crumpled to the floor, and two sets of slower, casual footsteps approached my cell.

"Move back from the bars, Sasuke, un!" A somewhat familiar voice with a mildly irritating vocal tick called. I pressed myself against the wall as a set of clay insects crawled their way up the bars of my cell, wrapping their white bodies around the thick metal. Suddenly, the insects exploded, wrenching the metal bars apart and creating an opening just large enough for me to fit through.

"You're getting better at that, brat, although the theatrics upstairs was hardly necessary," A rougher voice growled.

"It was totally necessary, un! That was beautiful art, yeah?"

"No, it was a rather messy explosion. And you got bloodstains all over your cloak. Again."

I made my way towards the voices. In the middle of the broken corridor, Deidara and a large, hunched figure I didn't recognise were waiting for me.

"Who's that?" I asked, swiping at cement dust settling in my hair.

"Sasori no Danna, in his favourite puppet," Deidara said, a psychopathic gleam still visible in his eye from the explosions. "We've come to rescue you, un!"

"Leader-sama's orders. We haven't seen your brother for days,"

I smirked. Looked like I wasn't the only one missing their brother.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yay cameo time! So, it looks like Sasuke isn't going to be brutally executed after all…although that was kind of a foregone conclusion, considering how he's my main narrator. Even if he does kind of deserve it…I just got out of the shower and I only just realised how dodgy my conditioner looks. God, I am so messed up in the head xD Anyway, [insert shameless plug about reviews here]. Because you love me too much not to :3**


	25. Try To Start Again

**Buried Alive – Chapter 24: Try To Start Again**

**A/N: Two hours after half a glass of wine, I am sober! Yay! Damn my low tolerance for alcohol and my massive stress! Still, writing anything serious is incredibly difficult when you're drunk as a skunk, so I basically had to wait it out…not one of my smarter plans. Still, writing emotionally unstable thirteen year old boys does appear to be something I rather enjoy, so it's worth the wait. And you guys get your new chapter, which I'm sure you're all very happy about. A small announcement, 'Buried Alive' is nearing its conclusion! Nooo! I will probably finish this fic sometime in the near future, considering my update rate, and then 'The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn' will take over as my main fic. Song of the chapter is 'Breaking The Habit' by Linkin Park. More Linkin Park. In case you haven't guessed, I really like Linkin Park (or at least, up to Minutes to Midnight…The Catalyst sucks!).**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Not really anything but language. No sex here. Sorry. I'm still kind of in shock from my research from the last lemon chapter, where I had to go watch some…stuff…and then I ended up doing something completely different. Yay pointless research! **

**Disclaimer: I own Naruto about as much as my dead goldfish does, and unless my goldfish was reincarnated as Masashi Kishimoto (which I highly doubt) then that isn't very much. In fact, it's not at all. Rather than rant about how much I think Shippuden sucks, I'll just leave it here…*backs away slowly*…**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_I don't know what's worth fighting for_

_Or why I have to scream_

_But now I have some clarity_

_To show you what I mean_

_I don't know how I got this way_

_I'll never be alright_

_So I'm breaking the habit_

_Breaking the habit_

_Breaking the habit_

_Tonight_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

The flight back was…disconcerting. Deidara was still on his high from the explosions, which only served to annoy Sasori, which in turn led Deidara to attempt to seduce him while I was sitting right behind both of them. Needless to say, Sasori hit his rather lustful partner over the head and engaged him in a conversation about art, which went on for around three hours.

Up in the sky, the air was colder and fresher, the wind turning my cheeks a faint shade of pink that looked slightly healthier underneath the purple of the bruise. I held my broken wrist to my chest, trying to remember basic field medical procedures, but nothing came to mind. What incredibly basic medical skills I did have didn't stretch to fractured bones.

When we finally did land, it was at a different base. Either the last one was destroyed or there was a chance of detection if Akatsuki stayed in one place too long, despite the excellent defences. The new base appeared to be a series of cave systems naturally formed in the side of a rock face, shielded on one side by forest and on the other by the large mound of dirt that made up the hill.

"…and that is why, brat, my art is vastly superior to yours," Sasori concluded.

"But Danna, you didn't take half my points into consideration, un! Your entire way of thinking is wrong!"

"On the contrary, I took all your points into consideration; I just chose to ignore the ridiculous ones,"

"Which is all of them, right, un?"

"Precisely,"

"If you two have finished bickering, Leader-sama wants to see you," A vaguely familiar voice said. "Oh, and Itachi's around somewhere if you want to find him, Sasuke." The owner of the voice stepped forward. Kisame, with his enormous sword in tow, stood in the entrance to the base, his hands forming the last seal to temporarily suspend the shielding defences.

Instead of running blindly into the mouth of the cave, I walked slowly behind the two arguing artists. Their conversation was slowly turning more and more suggestive, ending with Deidara tackling Sasori into an alcove. I walked right past, pretending I didn't see anything. It wasn't any of my business.

I made my way to the communal kitchen, what seemed to be a common feature in all the bases. I poured myself a glass of water and sat at the table, waiting. Logically, Itachi had to come here sooner or later for food and water, so I could just wait here instead of getting myself lost in the cave network.

I quickly finished my water, but I didn't refill the glass.

I ended up with my head resting on my arm, drifting half in and half out of consciousness in the kind of woozy dream state where nothing seems solid but is horribly real the whole time. I sat at the table for hours, watching and waiting, staring at the same patch of wall across from my place at the table. A few hours in, I became almost certain that Itachi had abandoned me for good, but I resisted the urge to cry. After all, death couldn't be so bad an option when you don't have anything to live for anymore.

I vaguely registered a woman I had never seen before enter and leave the kitchen, her hair painted blue by my bizarre imagination. Or it might have actually been blue, I couldn't tell. She took a glass pitcher out of a cupboard and filled it with cold water, barely sparing me a glance before going back out of the door she came through.

A little while later, I thought I saw my brother standing over me, stroking my hair and trying to wake me up. I would have none of that, and remained stubbornly in my dream state.

"Otouto, it's time to wake up," _Father doesn't like it when Nii-san carries me like a baby._ "I can take you back to your room where you can sleep properly," _It was just a dream, Sasuke. _"You should wake up and learn the way to your room."

When I didn't move, refusing to believe his presence was real. A very solid pair of arms wormed their way under my knees and behind my back, lifting me gently from the chair. This certainly wasn't like being carried like a baby, so no one would mind. No, there was a special name for this way of carrying someone, but I couldn't remember. Conjugal? Connubial? Matrimonial? No, it was _bridal_. That's right, bridal.

Nii-san was carrying me like a bride. I could be Nii-san's bride, even if I was a boy. It didn't matter if the whole world thought it was wrong for two men to love each other, or for two brothers to love each other, because I could be Nii-san's bride. I wanted to grin, but the muscles in my face didn't want to respond.

The rocking pace of Nii-san's steps was like the movement of a boat on a lake when there's a very little breeze.

A door opened and shut, and Nii-san put me down on something soft and squishy.

"You can sleep properly here, Sasuke." I watched with bleary eyes as he turned to go, his figure silhouetted against the light from the doorway.

"Don't go, Nii-san," I whispered.

I think he heard me, because the door shut something warm appeared at my side, cradling my body close. I hadn't realised how cold I was until the warm thing next to me wrapped me up in his arms and smothered me with his familiar smell and whispered in my ear, "Sleep, Otouto," appeared next to me. Caves were really cold. I wished I had my cloak, but this warm thing was better.

I liked to be warm.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yes, it's pathetic, but I'm a busy woman. And I am feeling rather uninspired today, so think of this as kind of a half-chapter or a transitional chapter to get to the next bit. I couldn't really shove in a whole lot of random extra crap here, so I thought I'd just leave it short and actually have plot next chapter. It's better that way, yeah? Reviews make me a very happy bunny :3 I think I used that expression already :3**


	26. Another Memory

**Buried Alive – Chapter 25: Another Memory**

**A/N: GROVEL GROVEL GROVEL I AM SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING ON THE 5****th****! I don't really have an excuse other than 'I had a meeting about a school trip, I had a lot of prep, and then I was tired'. I did manage to update my other fic, but I'm finding that one a hell of a lot easier to write right now considering...well, you'll all see eventually. Anyway, in case you need a reminder, Sasuke has just returned to Akatsuki from Konoha, where Deidara blew shit up because it's fun *cough* I mean, its art. Totally art. That's my excuse every time. So, on a remarkably happy note, the song of the chapter is 'The Only Hope for Me is You' by My Chemical Romance because it's actually really sweet and romantic, and kinda fits this chapter well. Also, considering the slightly fatalistic nature of this song, it's even more appropriate considering how freaking obsessed with each other Sasuke and Itachi are...Not healthy, by anyone's standards. **

_This is thinking/dreaming_.

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title.**

**Warning: No sex just yet...depending on how much love I'm feeling, you might get one next chapter. Depends how dodgy I'm feeling. In fact, you'll probably almost certainly get one next chapter because I need to *spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler* so *spoiler spoiler* can happen. All of two people in the world besides me know what that means xD So, this chapter, no warnings except language and mentions of incest, because incest isn't good, kids. Although I think you know that already.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. If I owned Naruto, I would take Sasuke and Itachi and hit them over the head with a stick until they got less emo (and until Itachi admitted that his plan for Sasuke's life sucked major ass...I mean, what was it again, Ita-kun? 'Commit mass homicide, join criminal organisation, inflict massive trauma upon one I love the most'? Nice plan, genius. Oh, and then they'd have sex. Because no interaction between Sasuke and Itachi is complete without a bit of sex.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_And if we can't find where we belong_

_We'll have to make it on our own_

_Face all the pain and take it on_

_Because the only hope for me is you alone_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_It was Shisui's funeral. I didn't like Shisui, but I had to try and look sad because it was a funeral. _

"_Sasuke, come and stand by me," Mother called, her soft voice cutting gently through the quiet mumbling in the room. _

_I was supposed to be sad because it was Shisui's funeral, and it was sad when anyone died. But it was especially sad because Shisui was still young. People were supposed to be grown up when they die, so it was like being cheated out of years of your life if you died young. _

_No, it wasn't just sad because he was young. It was sad because he hadn't died like a ninja was supposed to: he had committed suicide. It was unexpected and sudden and very, very sad. No one would hear of any talk of dishonour, it was just sad. He had left a note, too. Maybe it wouldn't be as sad if he hadn't written down all the reasons he wanted to die. _

"_Why did Shisui want to die, Mother?" I asked. I didn't want to say anything to Nii-san about it; he was surrounded by a group of older men with sour looks on their faces, and Nii-san's face was slowly slipping darker and darker. It was a little scary. _

"_Sometimes people are very unhappy and they feel like they can't go on anymore," Mother paused, looking thoughtfully at the centre of the room where Shisui's body was enclosed in its coffin. The lid was closed. He had drowned himself, and the body wasn't right to look at anymore. "It's always better to talk about what's wrong than to take your own life, Sasuke. You can always talk to me or to your father or to Itachi about anything, alright?"_

"_Yes, Mother," I replied quietly. I wanted to ask Nii-san more about Shisui dying, about why he killed himself, but I didn't want to be a bother. Nii-san had just lost a friend. I didn't want to upset him._

_Back at home, Nii-san retreated to his room. I stayed away for as long as possible, oiling and sharpening weapons in my bedroom, rearranging things in cupboards and on shelves, making and remaking my bed, but eventually the temptation grew too great. I had to see my brother. I stepped out into the corridor, trying not to make a sound. I stopped at his door, considering my decision. Would he want to see me? Would he want some time alone? I raised my fist to knock tentatively, still wavering a little in my decision._

"_I know you're there, Otouto. You can come in,"_

_I pushed open the door and entered. Nii-san knelt on the floor, kunai and weapon cleaning kit laid out on the floor in front of him. Completely normal. _

_But what else could I expect from Nii-san? He was too strong to break down in tears after the funeral. After all, he was one of the first to find out Shisui was dead. I had left him alone the night he found out, just in case he wasn't that strong. _

"_Are you alright, Nii-san? Shisui was your friend," I said as quietly as I could._

"_I'll be fine soon enough. Come sit with me,"_

_We spent the evening together. Nii-san cleaned every weapon he owned while I sat on his lap, watching his technique and memorising the way his fine, pale hands moved over the cold metal. We didn't talk, and I didn't ask any more questions. I just sat there, watching Nii-san's hands move. Eventually, I crawled into his lap. He just continued cleaning his weapons, his warm body behind mine. _

_If it was anyone but Nii-san, I would have known the drops of water falling on my hair were tears, but Nii-san never cried. _

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I woke up slowly, the dream falling to pieces inside my head, but the warm feeling of Itachi's body didn't leave. I turned, looking up blinking into the red of the Sharingan.

"You're awake," His voice was barely above a whisper, face completely expressionless except for his eyes. His eyes were full of something, but I couldn't see exactly what.

"Yeah," I rasped. My voice was still rough from sleep, and my eyes had trouble focusing for long. "You tried to abandon me again,"

"Yes, I did,"

"It didn't work. Again," I pointed out. I felt a little triumphant; no matter how hard he pushed me away, I would always come back. I was physically drawn to Itachi like iron to a magnet or flies to honey. I would go to ridiculous lengths just to see him again.

"It could have,"

"No, it couldn't. I would have come back to you eventually,"

"But you could have had your old life back. Surely you would prefer that to me," His voice darkened a little, doubt and pain shadowing his eyes. There was no way it was accidental; he was showing me exactly how he felt without words. It_ hurt_ to let me go.

"Why wouldn't I want you?" I questioned. I curled my body a little closer to his, cursing my clothing for preventing skin on skin contact. He was here now, and my clothes were in the way. I needed to touch, to feel, I-

"Because I murdered our entire clan, traumatised you, work for the Akatsuki and I spent the last five years being used as a sexual outlet by our ancestor. There's no reason you should want to be near me,"

"You're my big brother. I don't care what you do; I'll always need you," It was true. If anything, I had proved that.

"Need me or want me?"

"I need you,"

"It's all my fault, Sasuke. I killed the clan, orders or not. I tortured you. I never put a stop to your dependence on me as a child. I'm the one responsible for all of your problems. I'm the last person you need," I curled even closer, trying to meld our bodies through the clothes. Itachi was stiff, his body rigid as he spoke. I would have done anything to relieve that tension, to make everything comfortable again. I began to run my fingers up and down his side in an imitation of the calming touches he used to give me when I was a child, but the implications were so different. As a child, I understood nothing about sex or love. I only understood affection. These touched were laced with all three, comforting and telling at the same time.

"That doesn't change the fact that I love you," I whispered.

The world didn't stop. The sky didn't fall. The earth didn't open beneath our feet and swallow us whole. We were just two people talking. But I had said it. I couldn't hide anything anymore.

"I don't doubt that you do," His voice sounded vaguely amused, and I avoided looking into his eyes. I couldn't bear to look and see something I didn't want to see; rejection, disgust, hate. Indifference.

"Do you love me?" The answer meant so much. My heart beat loud in my ears, and my hands paused on their trail up and down the side of his body. This was more important than my confession. I almost expected the world to stop, the sky to fall, and the earth to swallow us whole. It would make more sense, considering the complex stream of emotion running through my skull.

"Of course,"

"Then stop trying to push me away. I'm not leaving you, and you're not leaving me again. I'd kill myself before I let you leave,"

"You really mean that,"

"Yes, I do,"

"We're both sick,"

"I don't care."

Whatever he was about to say I cut off with a kiss, just a gentle press of my lips to his. I had heard more than enough. If I were to die tomorrow, I would die happy. My brother loved me, and I loved him. Everything would be alright.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: You know what they say about counting your chickens, Sasuke? Yeah, take that principle and multiply it by a factor of about six dead puppies and you have your figure. For those of you who were expecting a wild declaration of love complete with sunshine and rainbows and skipping off into the sunset, I am very sorry, but that would be incredibly out of character. Yes, this chapter is a little short, but I didn't want to cut into the porn ;) Reviews make me a happy, happy bunny multiplied by the square root of adorable ducklings to the power of four puppies cubed. Over one thousand kittens. Reviews basically make me happy :3**


	27. Not Afraid

**Buried Alive – Chapter 26: Not Afraid**

**A/N: It's lemon time again! And this time it's the main pairing of the fic, although I think Mada/Ita has had more sexual screen time that Ita/Sasu… hmmm, well, it wasn't exactly intentional, but it kind of happened. Still, you get your delicious ItaSasu lemon now, full of delicious sex and smut and yaoi goodness. I had 'Closer' by Nine Inch Nails going through my head all day because I was thinking about it, but that song is really not appropriate for this chapter. Go back a few chapters for a lemon like that. I'm afraid we're getting all sweet and cute here. So, instead of our flaming hot rough sex song, we're getting 'Heaven is a Place on Earth' by Belinda Carlisle. Not a sexy song by any means, but it fits…the sweet sex, y'know? This is proper lover-luvin', rather than Sasuke being masochistic or Madara basically raping Itachi. I figure this story should get at least one proper loving sex scene…**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warning: This is another M-rated chapter, dudes! That means if you have a problem with two men in sexual situations, go and read something else with less sex in. In addition to this sexual situation involving two men, I would like to point out right here once again that these two men are blood related, making it incest. Once again, I would like to say incest is not really a good thing to do, so go get therapy if you want to fuck your brother/sister. I, however, am not a therapist; ergo Sasuke is screwed – literally. **

**Disclaimer: Sasuke and Itachi are about to have sex. I think you can assume at this point that I do not own Naruto and that this is merely a fan work that is completely unaffiliated with the actual brand Naruto and all that it entails so don't sue me. However, if I did own Naruto, the plot would be very different…there would be much more yaoi and a lot less morons doing stupid shit and fucking things up for no good reason. People would talk their problems out over cups of tea rather than stabbing each other in the face. Violence is never the answer, people. Unless it's a question like, 'what is a synonym for assault?' or 'what starts with V and has an E at the end?' **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth_

_Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth_

_They say in heaven, love comes first_

_We'll make heaven a place on Earth_

_Ooh, heaven is a place on Earth_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I rolled my body over so I was lying directly on top of Itachi, my body pressed against his. His cloak was gone, leaving him in his normal clothes which were soft under my bare torso. I didn't remember taking off my shirt when I fell asleep, so Itachi must have undressed me at some point. Still, I didn't mind. It was one less barrier.

After admitting that I loved him, I felt like there shouldn't be any more barriers. No more secrets, no more lies, no more pretending, but I knew that wasn't possible. As much as I wanted it to be, it would never be possible. Neither of us worked that way.

The sensation of his body beneath mine was warm, both inside and out, and I suddenly found myself wanting more.

I wiggled my hips a little, pressing myself into him, inexpertly grinding our hips together.

"What are you planning, Sasuke?" Itachi murmured, arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer. I wished the final barrier of our clothes would just fall away to leave nothing but pale, sensitive skin and wandering hands and flushed cheeks.

"I'm seducing you," I said, smirking a little at myself. It wasn't a brilliant plan, considering I had all of one sexual experience of any kind, in which I did very little. Like any thirteen year old boy, I had been exposed to enough pornography to know about other kinds of things, but I had never done any of them or even really thought much about doing them with anyone except-

Itachi rolled us over, switching our positions and cutting off my train of thought. Our lower bodies were pressed together, my hands clinging lightly to the fabric of his shirt and his upper body propped up on his elbows. His black pony tail hung over his shoulder, the end resting by my cheek. A satisfied smirk appeared on his lips, eyes narrowing with amusement.

"Did you mean to do _this_?" I gasped when his hips pressed into mine at just the right angle, moving in a circular motion that brought my cock to life. The material of my clothes suddenly felt amazingly rough against my sensitive skin, adding extra stimulation to the movement of Itachi's hips on mine.

I pulled on the pony tail by my cheek, pulling his face closer to mine. I craned my neck up, reaching up for a kiss. He caught on quickly, bringing his head down to push his lips against mine. I let go of my grip on his hair and locked my hands around his neck instead, pulling him down closer to me. I let out a soft whimper when he stopped moving, letting him slip his tongue between my parted lips. I sucked it deeper into my mouth, shutting my eyes tight and focusing on the sensation of our lips gliding over each other, tongues meeting and dancing together inside my mouth.

He suddenly broke the kiss, pulling us up into a kneeling position before moving back in again. I frowned a little in confusion, then moaned loudly when I felt his hand slip into my trousers. The tips of his fingers traced the tip of my arousal; teasing me and making me push my body harder against his, desperate for contact.

"You can touch me too," His low voice whispered in my ear, deep and sultry with the sound of sex. I guided my shaking hand to the waistband of his trousers, slipping it beneath the waistband and into his underwear. I could feel the heat radiating from his member, radiating out from the stiff flesh like a fire. I felt his hand move deeper, stroking down the length of my own member. I mirrored his movements, and we shuddered in synchrony.

Yes, this was how it was supposed to be. Brothers, lovers, two human beings connected at a base level, sharing animalistic pleasure. At the same time, it wasn't pure lust; I loved Itachi, I loved him as my Nii-san. I loved him as the man I was addicted to, had been shamelessly addicted to for years. My need for him surprised even me, cutting through every cell in my body and replacing my desire for food, water and air with cravings for my brother.

I moaned again, his skilful hand moving faster and more intricately than I could match, but I continued stroking his member as well as I could. It felt good, to know I was giving something back rather than just lying back and accepting all the pleasure he could give me. I _wanted_ to give him something back.

I was getting closer and closer to climax, my breath coming more rapidly. I dropped my head against Itachi's chest, feeling the rise and fall as he took in breaths almost as quickly as me. A thumb swiped over the head of my cock, and I bucked against it, pressing myself closer to him as I came. I almost fell forwards, fingers knotting in Itachi's shirt, still not looking up. The weight of his gaze was too much.

An idea formed in my head. A sneaky, devious idea I had never had before while conscious. I wanted to try something new.

Shifting myself back a little, I gripped my brother's trousers and pulled them down to mid thigh. His erection stood proud as he looked down at me with a raised eyebrow. Carefully not looking into his eyes, my cheeks burning, I let myself fall onto my hands and knees and lowered my head to level with his cock. Nervously, I stuck my tongue out and licked the tip, taking a peek at his face as I did. A small smirk was on his lips, but the lust in his eyes was overpowering. Confident, I moved forward, enveloping the head of his cock with my lips, sliding my head forwards until I felt it touch the back of my throat. There was no way in hell I would try _that_ without a little more secret practise, so I moved my head back, picking up the pace. I moved a hand up to stroke his shaft, tasting the salt of sweat and bitter precome. One of his hands found its way into my hair, gently stroking and knotting in my dark spikes in encouragement.

I took another peek at his face. His lips were parted, breath coming in shorter gasps, and his cheeks were pink. The red of his Sharingan were dark with desire, cutting through the air between us like a knife.

My hand moved quickly up and down his shaft, slick with my saliva and his precome. I pulled my head back to say something, then completely forgot what I was about to say as he came. Sticky white fluid plastered itself to my face, my eyes wide. Had I just-? Yes, I had just sucked off my brother. I licked my lips, tasting his seed on my face.

"Thank you, Otouto," Itachi smirked properly, taking on the proper Uchiha look. "That's a good look for you," I was about to protest when he pulled me up and licked a trail from my temple to the corner of my lips, licking up a streak of his own cum. "We must remember to do that more often,"

"P-pervert," I stuttered, my pale face reddening underneath the coating of white, which was starting to drip off my chin.

"Your turn," He said, almost childishly. He swept three fingers through the mess on my face, pushing my trousers down with one hand. "And it's going to be good for you too this time,"

Fingers found their way to my entrance, circling lightly before the first finger pushed in. Once again, it wasn't the most comfortable sensation in the world, but I knew what to expect. The finger moved inside me, twisting and curling until it brushed against a spot that made me moan and made me lean forwards against Nii-san, fingers knotting into his shirt again. The second finger didn't hurt either, my muscles more relaxed from the pleasure his fingers were bringing me. The scissoring motion was a little more uncomfortable, but I didn't make a sound. The third and final finger didn't hurt too badly, a great reduction of the stinging and burning from the first time.

We knelt there for a few minutes, Nii-san's fingers gently pumping in and out of me, brushing over my prostate and encouraging me to relax and get used to the sensation. It was driving me crazy. I wanted something _more_; I wanted Nii-san's-

The fingers left me, and Nii-san's hands carefully guided me around so I was facing away from him on my hands and knees. My heart sank a little; I wanted to see his face again, but at the same time this was what he wanted for me. It would hurt less, and I would enjoy it more. I could give back.

I felt the blunt head of his member brush my entrance, and I let myself relax, exhaling slowly. He pushed in, a burn of pain making me momentarily wince, before pushing forward slowly and stopping. I breathed slowly, letting my body adjust properly. One of his hands found its way to my shoulder, a silent question. I nodded, letting him know it was okay, _I _was okay. Almost painfully slowly, he began to move. Experimenting with angles until he found the perfect angle that made me gasp with pleasure, he increased his speed. His fingers stroked my back, caressed my sides, ran through my hair, each fingertip pouring love into my body.

When we both came, I felt complete, possibly for the first time in my life. We fell to the side, Nii-san still buried within me, my cum staining the sheets beneath me. I had climaxed without a hand on my cock. We lay still, body heat radiating from each other. One arm snaked around my waist, pulling me even closer, like he was trying to mould us into one being even though we were as connected as two bodies could possibly be.

Drifting in the pleasant afterglow, half-asleep, I could have sworn I heard Nii-san whisper, "I'm so sorry, Otouto," before kissing the top of my head.

But I had probably dreamed that. There was nothing to apologise for.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Yay sex scene! It has literally taken me all day to write that properly. And writing oral sex is really…awkward…when you're thinking about details at school. Just a small point, I like to suck my pens and hold them between my lips when I'm listening to teachers in class. When your mind drifts towards blowjobs, that suddenly becomes…well. Yeah. Very awkward. So, who loved this lemon? What's your favourite lemon been for the fic? Tell me in a review :3 I love reviews :3**


	28. Tell Me I Was Wrong

**Buried Alive – Chapter 27: Tell Me I Was Wrong**

**A/N: I'm going to make this as normal an author's note as possible because I don't want to give anything away. For the two of you besides me who know what's going to happen, I hope I did okay. For those of you who don't enjoy Or not, as the case may be. Just so you all know, this was incredibly hard to write, both technically and physically. I haven't written any of my other fic because it would really spoil the mood for this one, and I've thrown myself into an emotional state to get it right, and I have to stay like this until tomorrow...great, and just when I finished convincing my parents all my problems were over I have to go and involve myself emotionally in my characters:/ Song of the chapter is 'Goodbye' by Secondhand Serenade. Oh dear Lord, it's depressing. All this chapter is from Itachi's perspective, though we haven't heard much from him since he was being raped a bit…So without further ado, I give you the penultimate chapter of Buried Alive.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: No sex here, just your usual language warning. I'd like to point out once again that incest isn't good, kids, but the actions taken in this chapter are worse. Certain…things…are best left to fanfiction, best kept out of real life. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, as much as I wish I did. I can't do anything witty…I just don't have the heart for it. **

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_It's a shame that it had to be this way_

_It's not enough to say I'm sorry_

_It's not enough to say I'm sorry_

_Maybe I'm to blame_

_Or maybe we're the same_

_But either way I can't breathe_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I curled around Sasuke, but I didn't sleep. I was still buried deep within him, connected on a base level, and it felt _right_. It made me feel human, feel less like an object or a weapon to be used and discarded. He made me feel alive again.

Needless to say, I didn't cry. Although the weight of my decisions pulled on my heartstrings, I couldn't bring myself to shed a tear for myself. I could shed oceans of tears for Sasuke, but I wouldn't shed any for myself.

Sasuke seemed to be under the impression that everything was entirely his fault. From causing so much pain among his former friends and sensei, to killing his best friend, to betraying his village and escaping back to me, he believed it was all his fault.

In a way, it was.

But in many, many more ways, it was my fault. It had been my fault from the moment I laid eyes on him as a tiny baby lying in our mother's arms and I swore to protect him. He was such a small baby, tiny fists gripping the edge of the cloth he was wrapped in, tufts of dark hair scattered across his head, wide, black Uchiha eyes staring inquisitively out at the world.

I was five, and I had a baby brother. I'm sure many five year old brothers make promises to themselves or to their parents to look after their little siblings, and most of them fulfil it. How I had tried to fulfil it! I had done everything in my power as a child to help him succeed, pushed him and encouraged him, dressed his wounds when he tripped and taught him things he shouldn't reasonably have learned for a long time. But at the same time, he grew increasingly dependent on me. He was like a limpet stuck to a rock. No, he was more like a seam of gold cutting through dark stone. I knew he was attached to me, and I encouraged his dependency. I let him believe his precious Nii-san would always be there to help him and love him, that I would never leave and be exactly what he needed.

When I was ten, I began to realise it was wrong. Other older brothers didn't have the same kind of relationship I had with Sasuke. They thought their brothers were annoying, and brushed them off without a care in the world. I couldn't brush Sasuke off without him flashing his big dark eyes at me and begging for another time to see me, without guilt seeping into my heart.

When I was thirteen, I knew it was almost obscene. I was his drug. I could do anything, and I did what my teenage body wanted. I kissed him. I touched him. I realised I would be scarring his mind forever, but I still did it. Of course, I was by no means a normal thirteen year old. I was already a member of ANBU, and I was deeply involved in my clan's inner workings. I knew political corruption, murder and bloodshed intimately, and I came to know sex through the talks of my elders. When I eliminated the entirety of the clan except Sasuke, I had hoped that it would be enough emotional trauma to erase the memories of us, of when we were happy children together, but it did no such thing. From my observations during the years we were separated, he hadn't let go.

It made it all that much more tempting to leave the fossilised leaf wrapped up in a strip of my cloak. It was spontaneous, but it re-established that connection. The first time he picked up my gift, it was inevitable; he would come crawling back into my arms the way he did as a toddler learning to walk.

It was only natural for it to progress to my bed. I was long past innocence, but it made me feel like a virgin to take away the last barrier between us.

That was why I had to do it.

Seven hours later, I woke Sasuke up. I watched as he stretched his pale body out across the blankets, a small smile in place across his lips that made his eyes sparkle with happiness.

For a second, I felt intensely regretful and guilty. But it was for the best. It was definitely for the best. I really did love him, after all.

"Konoha ninja have been pursuing us," I spoke softly. I stroked a hand across his cheek, memorising the softness of his skin, loving the way he leaned into my touch. "I intend to see them off,"

"A mission?" He mumbled into my hand, voice low from sleep.

"Of sorts. It's defence of the base," It was true. Konoha ninja, allegedly lead by Sharingan no Kakashi, had tracked Sasuke cross-country towards the base. Intercepting them and defeating them would secure the base.

"I want to come with you,"

"I intended to bring you anyway."

We dressed, playfully cleaning away any evidence from last night, eliciting euphoric giggles and smiles from my precious brother. He could walk well, compared to last time, although he limped slightly. He still wasn't used to the penetration of sex, and wouldn't be for a while. I had learned the art more than well enough. A small burst of anger at Madara burst in my chest, but I showed no outward signs of it.

The base was very quiet early in the morning. All the other members were tucked away in their own bedrooms or spaces, doing whatever it was they did quietly, for once. Mornings were usually the only quiet times, since almost none of us were really morning people. It was a nice change.

We ate in near silence, an old habit from the dinner table when we were still family instead of bizarre and obscene lovers. I secretly observed every movement Sasuke made, the movement of chopsticks from the dish to his mouth, the slow grind of his jaw as he chewed, the swell of his throat as he swallowed. He licked his lips, catching any crumbs.

I barely ate. Watching Sasuke was more than enough.

I left our plates in the sink, unwashed. I didn't think anyone would mind too much later. Instead, we set off down the hall. At some point, Sasuke's hand found its way into mine, and I held it lightly. I didn't dare grip it tightly, no matter how hard my hands were aching to.

I lowered the jutsu surrounding the base as we exited, sealing it off again. There was no sense in causing further damage to other people, no matter who they were. The morning air was fresh and cold, clouds gathering overhead indecisively, not sure whether they wanted to rain or not. I wanted them to; I liked the rain.

Then we ran. We ran towards the only source of chakra I could sense besides us, not bothering to cloak my own or Sasuke's signatures. The strongest signal I could feel in return was familiar, and Sasuke tensed beside me, similarly recognising it.

Kakashi stepped forward.

There was no battle. There were no other ninja; I believe the fight was too personal for Kakashi, Sasuke and I, so any team accompanying him was instructed to stay out of it. However, there was no battle, but there would only be one death today.

I let go of Sasuke's hand, and brought it up to his head, stroking through his black spikes. They were soft against my skin, strands rubbing between my fingers and against my fingertips in an addictive motion. I let my hand trail down to the back of his neck, where I struck sharply. Sasuke crumpled into my arms, his eyes rolling up and then shutting. He exhaled heavily as he fell, warm breath casting a mist into the air. I caught him gently, laying him on the ground across my feet. I stroked a hand across his cheek, not letting the touch linger, then stood up to face Kakashi.

"Hear me out, Kakashi-sempai," I called across the space that divided us. I didn't move, using my body as a shield for Sasuke. I was tense, but I didn't show it. I didn't trust Konoha to have set this up somehow, to draw my attention away from Sasuke and kill him under my nose.

"You have no right to call me that, Uchiha," Kakashi spat, his visible eye narrowed. I could feel anger radiating off him, righteous anger. It was certainly for a just cause.

"Maybe not anymore, but I did once. I ask that you honour that, and listen to what I have to say. I won't fight you, and neither will Sasuke, and I only ask you to listen and decide,"

"I can't do that. You're both criminals, and you have no rights to any such thing,"

"Please. Not for me, for Sasuke," I actually stooped to begging. For anyone else, I would do no such thing. Every other member of Akatsuki, every person I had ever been close to in my life, none of them were worth begging for but Sasuke. He was my world.

"Sasuke murdered my student,"

"He was also your student,"

"He is still a murderer," We remained rooted to the spot. Neither of us made any move to step forward or to attack.

"It was under my orders. I coerced him into killing Naruto, into joining Akatsuki. That was my plan all along, to reunite with my brother and seize power greater than any human alive can imagine. I have been grooming Sasuke for years to be the perfect pawn, and he performs excellently, to the point where he doesn't know he is one himself."

"He still-"

"It wasn't murder if it's under orders, sempai. We've both killed under orders from Konoha, but that doesn't make us murderers." I smirked. "Well, I am a murderer, but that's another story,"

"Why should I believe you?"

"Because I love my brother, and I don't want this life for him," I could still feel the tingle of his skin against mine, the softness of his face, the curve of his lips, the darkness of his eyes, the softness of his hair, the lines of his body. I knew them all, and I loved every one of them. But I loved Sasuke, not just his body. I loved his entire being, his destructive personality and all.

"Then you should have thought of that a long time ago," It was true, his voice almost condescending, as if talking to a small child. I felt like a child.

"I should have, but I didn't. I'm offering you a trade: my life, for Sasuke's,"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I will die, and Sasuke will live. You will take him back to Konoha, or to another hidden village, or to a civilian village where he will be allowed to make his own decisions without my influence. I will die at your hands, sempai,"

"Stop calling me that,"

"Then we have a deal?"

There was no reply.

He stepped forward, taking a kunai out of a weapons pouch.

For a moment, I was bitter. I was as much a weapon as a kunai was. But now that was coming to an end.

Another step, another emotion. I regretted too many decisions to count.

Another step and lack of regret. It didn't matter anymore.

A fourth step, anger. I was about to lose what I had fought for.

A fifth step, happiness. It was for Sasuke, so it was okay.

A sixth step, happiness. It was for Sasuke.

A seventh. Sasuke.

An eight. Sasuke.

A ninth. I love you, little brother.

There wasn't a tenth. I let a tear fall down my cheek as the kunai cut into my throat.

I fell to my knees, a hand rebelliously straying behind me to touch the edge of Sasuke's clothing. I was so disappointed; I would have traded anything to feel his skin. The tear dripped off my chin, falling onto the ground.

I'm sorry.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Take my hand away_

_Spell it out_

_Tell me I was wrong_

_Tell me I was wrong_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: Right. Let me just take a moment. Let me do this right. Okay, I'm ready. I'm very, very sorry. Incredibly sorry. Immensely sorry. Indefinably sorry. And many other words that begin with 'I'. Because I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I'm crying. Like, properly crying, with real tears and all. And to Itachi, I'm sorry. I basically had you raped then killed. What a shit way to go…Still, did you expect them to get a happy ending? It's not over just yet, so review and tell me how much you hate me :')**


	29. I Cannot Live Without You

**Buried Alive – Chapter 28: I Cannot Live Without You**

**A/N: I confess I'm a little disappointed that this fic will never make it to thirty, but here you go. The final chapter. The end. It's all over right here. I'm not dropping you a single hint here for similar reasons as last chapter, but I can tell you that part of me does not want this to end because it's so beautiful. Reflectively, this has been my favourite fanfiction I've ever written, and I'm glad I got it down. Thanks to all my readers, whoever you all are, and thanks for supporting me along the way. I honestly couldn't have done it without you :') but I'll leave the tears for later. We're back to Sasuke narrating, so please enjoy the dramatic irony. There could be so many songs of the chapter. 'Like a Knife' by Secondhand Serenade, 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt, 'Terrible Things' by Mayday Parade', 'My Immortal' by Evanescence, 'How To Save a Life' by the Fray', 'Good Riddance' by Green Day, the list goes on. I'm going with two, one for the beginning and one for the end. First is 'Like a Knife' by Secondhand Serenade because it captures stuff perfectly. The second is 'Goodbye My Lover' by James Blunt. There, I said it. It's been an honour playing with you tonight, gentlemen. It's been an honour.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Once again, I'm not giving anything away. Based on the fact Itachi is dead (yes, he is properly dead, as in slit throat heart not beating no brain function deceased) there cannot really be any sex. Usual language warning for the sensitive. And don't put away that box of tissues just yet. **

**Disclaimer: I may require therapy, but I don't own Naruto. No witty one liners here, too depressed.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Goodbyes are meant for lonely people standing in the rain_

_And no matter where I go it's always pouring all the same_

_These streets are filled with memories_

_Both perfect and in pain_

_And all I wanna do is love you_

_But I'm the only one to blame_

'_Cause today, you walked out of my life_

'_Cause today, your words felt like a knife_

_I'm not living this life._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

I woke up to rain on my upturned face. It wasn't heavy, falling in a light sheet around me and splashing onto my cheeks. A drop fell between my parted lips, cold and clear and tasteless. I opened my eyes slowly, looking up into the grey sky. Pearly clouds let themselves disintegrate above me, showering us in themselves.

Then I noticed I was moving. I was gently rocking back and forth, someone's arms underneath my knees and back as they walked briskly towards their destination. I kept my eyes on the sky. Last time Nii-san had carried me like this, I was half asleep and dreaming about being his bride. Now, more coherent, I knew it was impossible, but I wanted to be as close to it as I could. We could live the rest of our lives together, no one else coming between us. No other lovers, no men or women.

But there was still Madara. I felt intensely sad for a moment, replacing all the anger I had felt before when I found out what he did to my brother. I would do anything to make it stop. I would share Itachi's burden. He didn't have to be alone.

I would do anything for Nii-san.

I smiled a little, and turned my head. My face creased in a frown; it wasn't my brother carrying me, it was Kakashi. I tensed, then squirmed a little. I had killed Naruto, there was no way I would come out of this alive. I had to get away, get back to Nii-san.

"Calm down, Sasuke, it's all over now," Kakashi said. His voice was somehow louder because of the rain, ringing off the dripping leaves of the trees surrounding us, resonating over water-darkened bark. The forest was peaceful, and so was his voice, but I couldn't relax. Where was Itachi?

"W-what?"

"I don't condone your actions, or even really accept them. But I understand them. I understand why you did what you did, even if it was wrong," I couldn't sense my brother anywhere. Had he abandoned me again? Had he left me for Konoha to reclaim and execute?

"I don't understand,"

"You would do well to forget everything of Itachi Uchiha. Just pretend he never made contact with you again, and return to Konoha with me. It will never quite be the same, but it would be for the best," My eyes widened. I would never forget the last month. It was some of the happiest time of my life, and I felt alive again after so long. Before I was trudging through days without really thinking, completing missions and fending off annoying teammates, but now I had my brother back. That was better than anything.

"I still don't understand. What are you talking about?"

"Bad things happen to all people, regardless of whether they are good or bad themselves. We make promises we can't keep, and we end up hurting people we love. These are your basic life lessons. You can apply them to every single situation in your life, whether you want to or not. Sometimes you'll have blips on the radar, where something seems too good to be true. Let me tell you now, they almost always are," His voice was monotone, like he was reciting a script that he hadn't written. I had no idea what he was talking about. Was this supposed to be a lecture? Whatever it was, I didn't care. I just wanted to go back to Nii-san.

"Put me down, and tell me straight. What the hell are you talking about?"

"I should have told you all this when I first met you, but I thought you – you, Naruto and Sakura – should learn it for yourselves. But I think I was wrong. We shouldn't let children play in an adult's world. You were all too young," His voice was full of regret. He stopped walking, and set me down gently. My head spun a little, aching at the back.

Then I remembered. Walking out of the base, hand in hand with Nii-san, towards the foreign chakra signature. Recognising the signature was Kakashi. Then Nii-san touched my hair, then darkness. I had missed something, and it made me frantic.

"What did I miss, Kakashi? I know I missed something! Tell me!"

"It's not right, children being ninja. It's no different when you're so young and untrained as painting a target on your chest and offering an enemy a throwing knife. You're child soldiers. It has nothing to do with talent. There is a reason so many ninja die on missions; they can't go on, but can't commit suicide, so they get sloppy. Everyone gets sloppy, and then they die. Then they're replaced with a child," He swept a hand through his hair, his voice lowering. I stared up into his covered face, looking for any clues, completely disregarding what he was saying. It registered on some level, but it was irrelevant. I only wanted Nii-san; I didn't care about getting lectured.

"You're not answering my questions. What happened to my brother? Where is he?"

"I will never have children; I couldn't inflict that fate upon anyone. One day, I'll get too tired to carry on, and I'll die. Death is the great equaliser, Sasuke, and don't forget it. We'll all die, and it won't matter who we are anymore. From a Hokage to a vagrant, we're all the same in the end. In fact, the vagrant is somewhat lucky; he knows his life is over before it begins. Everyone else likes to pretend it isn't," I gripped the front of his jacket, and shook him as much as I could. Why wasn't what I was saying getting through to him? Where was my brother? I had to get to him, I had to get back. There was nothing for me anywhere else.

"Shut the hell up and listen to me! Where is Itachi! Tell me, you bastard!"

"We're all a tragedy of our time, Sasuke. Naruto, Sakura, me, you, Itachi, every person who is ever born is a tragedy of our time, and it's only a matter of time until we fall.

"He traded himself for you. Itachi is dead."

"What?" I tried to say. I couldn't raise my voice above a whisper. "You're lying. You have to be lying,"

"I'm not,"

"Is it really-?"

"He's gone,"

"Why?"

"Because he loved you. I believe that,"

I let go of the front of his jacket and fell to the floor. My heart halted in my chest, my blood froze in my veins. Nii-san was-

"_I'm so sorry, Otouto,"_

No, he couldn't be dead! I wouldn't let him be dead! He wasn't allowed to die; I needed him to be me. I couldn't be Sasuke without Itachi. I couldn't be anyone else. I didn't want to be anyone else. I raised a hand to my face, gripping my forehead as my Sharingan flared from the emotional turmoil.

Blood and tears fell from my eyes, and I gripped my head tighter, nails digging into my skin. Blood welled out of the superficial cuts, but it wasn't enough. There couldn't be enough. Nii-san was- I had to feel more pain. I dragged my nails down my face, raking lines in my skin. It still wasn't enough.

"_I'm so sorry, Otouto,"_

It was suicide then? Itachi let Kakashi kill him? The ninja in me sneered; suicide was a coward's way out. The rest of me quashed the ninja. If Nii-san was anything, he was not a coward. He had done so much, taken so much pain. He had killed his family, which must have hurt more than I could imagine. And worse, he had done it for _me_. He had let Madara fuck him so he could learn to protect _me_. And now, he had died for _me_.

It was all for me. _Me, me, me,_ _me, me_! And I didn't want it to be for me! I would be happy for it all to be for him, but now it was too late. I felt horribly selfish.

I stopped clawing at my face and let my bloodied hand fall to the floor with my tears. Nii-san was dead. Really dead. And there was no way to bring him back.

I choked on a sob. This hurt more than anything – it was the ultimate abandonment. It felt like someone was physically restricting my breathing; I realised it was me. I wasn't letting myself breathe. I didn't want to breathe; I didn't want my heart to beat. I didn't want to live without Nii-san.

A watery smile crept across my lips as I realised I didn't have to. I reached into my weapons pouch, still strapped to my body, for a kunai. A small hysterical giggle escaped my lips.

I could still feel his hand in mine, hands in my hair, fingers tracing across my body, lips on mine, breath ghosting across my face. I could still feel everything. I could feel his soft skin. I could feel the beauty of his body. I could see the beauty of his soul. I could see everything, but everything was missing. I was hollow, and being hollow hurt.

I hoped he wouldn't be angry with me. I hoped he knew me well enough to know I would always follow him wherever he would go. There wasn't a place I wouldn't follow him to. It wasn't destiny, but it was close.

There wasn't much pain. Dying of blood loss isn't painful, as such. It just feels cold, and I was already cold.

I'm sorry, Nii-san. I'll be joining you soon.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_You touched my life and you touched my soul_

_You changed my life and all my goals_

_All love is blind and then I knew when_

_I was blinded by you_

_I've kissed your lips and held your hand_

_Shared your dreams and shared your bed_

_I know you well, I know your smell_

_I have been addicted to you_

_Goodbye my lover_

_Goodbye my friend_

_You have been the one_

_You have been the one for me._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

Et fin.

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: "Now cracks a noble heart. Good night, sweet prince: and may a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest." So there you have it. Buried Alive is over. I'm crying again. I hope you weren't satisfied by the ending – I certainly wasn't. Death is the least satisfying conclusion I could have given you, but the most in character solution to all their problems. I bet you all really hate me now :') Still, I hate myself more. I actually did it. I actually killed them off. I'm kind of in shock over here, yeah? Let me know what you think in a review, because I can never have enough of those. If you're wondering, there will not be a sequel because I just killed off the main characters. Please assume that life goes on as normal for the other characters, except possibly Kakashi and Sakura who are now doubly scarred for life, for that is the fickle nature of death. My other projects include 'The Greatest Thing You'll Ever Learn', and I have an idea for another fic in development right now, so if you like my writing put me on alert and you'll get your fix. Shameless plug over, I hope you enjoyed Buried Alive.**


	30. Epilogue

**Buried Alive – Epilogue: The End**

**A/N: For realz this time! This is the actual ending of BA, there will be no more after this epilogue. I'm calling it an epilogue because it's not a real chapter because it's not full length, but there were a couple of loose ends I have to tie up before saying goodbye. I'd like to point out right here that my next fic will be a SasoDei fic, which is still in the works (please don't glomp me to death, Nychta!) and my KakaIru fic is ongoing. If you like the darkness, the SasoDei one might be for you. Just thought I'd shamelessly advertise myself right here :) So, that over, this is the real ending! Oh noes! 3****rd**** person point of view, because *spoiler spoiler spoiler*.**

_This is thinking/dreaming._

This is regular story.

**This is author's note.**

**This is title**

**Warnings: Alcohol consumption! I don't think I've ever had to warn for that one before. And language and implicit yaoi. No sex, because that would be highly inappropriate. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, it's Masashi Kishimoto's product, and he's making a whole lot of money off it. I'm not. Don't sue me.**

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_How can you think that any of this was easy?_

_With all the friends I've lost along the way_

_When this is over_

_We're all getting older now_

_And we all play a part in it_

_Innocence is falling_

_Can you hear them calling now?_

_But I'll be by your side until the end_

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

"It wasn't your fault, you know," Iruka murmured softly, rubbing a hand over Kakashi's back. Kakashi let his sake cup fall to the table with a dull _thunk_, and brought his elbows up to rest on the edge of the bar. The room was too warm and the sake was cheap, but Iruka was there, and that made it bearable. They weren't drinking in celebration; they were drinking to get drunk. Or at least, Kakashi was.

"Yes, it was," Kakashi looked up, single eye tracing the lines of Iruka's face. "It was all my fault. I let Sasuke sit there and cut his wrists. I didn't even try to stop him. I have no idea what came over me." A hand raked through his hair, fingers tense with stress.

"You weren't in your right mind," Iruka's soft voice said from beside him. "What could you have done? If you had brought him back, he would have killed himself some other way. I doubt Konoha would have allowed him to live, anyway. At the very least, he would have been sent away. Maybe it's for the best,"

"The best?" Kakashi said, his voice a little outraged. "The boy is in a _coma_, 'Ruka, and he's not waking up any time soon. I don't think he _wants_ to wake up,"

Iruka let his hand fall from Kakashi's back to his arm, letting it travel slowly towards his hand. The bar was dark, and mostly empty. No one was here to see, and he could feel how upset Kakashi was at himself. Although he wasn't nearly as daring as the jounin when it came to semi-legal public displays of affection, it was the least he could do to comfort his lover.

"I stand by what I said. He clearly didn't want to live in a world without his brother, and now he doesn't have to. If he does wake up, then at least he'll have you," It was true, in a sense. Although most of Konoha had turned against Sasuke, Kakashi was honour-bound to protect him. Part of the unwritten laws of honour forced him to obey the dead man's wish, even if it went against his own personal morals.

"Yes, just me. And a fat lot of use I was,"

"You saved his life, 'Kashi,"

"I let him slash his wrists. I couldn't get him medical help in time to stop him nearly dying," No matter how fast he ran, no matter how frantic his calls for help, he wasn't fast enough. Sasuke was still his student, in the end. Bonds like that don't break easily.

"He's still alive, isn't he? That's better than nothing,"

"He won't be happy, and there's nothing I can do about it,"

"He doesn't really deserve to be happy, at this point,"

"How can you say that, 'Ruka? Everyone deserves to be happy. Even Sasuke," He paused, thinking. "Well, at least he had the time he did with his brother. That's some consolation. Maybe he'll get past it one day, meet a nice girl, settle down and have kids. Repopulate his clan, like he said he would. Although I don't think he really wants women," A small, drunken smile pulled at the edges of Kakashi's covered mouth. Sasuke was flamingly gay – it didn't take a genius to work that out. Normal teenage boys bought porn and talked about girls and bragged about their achievements in the fields of romance, but Sasuke…well, Sasuke was too busy for that.

It was just another thing he had missed out on. It wasn't all that funny, really.

"He's thirteen, you can't really tell at that point," Iruka pointed out. Thirteen was really a little too young, even if it was the legal age of consent in most nations. It was mostly a formality; given the short life expectancy of most ninja, learning about their own bodies and experiencing physical pleasure wasn't low on the things to do before they died. For some boys, it was a rite of passage.

"I could tell. I could tell that about you at thirteen," Kakashi's smile returned, gripping Iruka's wandering hand.

"Yes, but you're special," Iruka pouted, pushing out his lower lip and tilting his head like a child. One finger stroked his, drawing comforting lines up and down.

"I know,"

"See, you're happier already,"

"More like drunk already,"

"Same difference."

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

_Bon, c'est vraiment la 'fin' __cette époque.__Je suis sérieux._

oO..Oo..oO..Oo

**A/N: So yes, everyone is thoroughly miserable, but at least Kakashi and Iruka (maybe) live happily ever after. And maybe Sasuke wakes up, maybe not. Maybe he gets better, maybe not. It's all up in the air, which is the beauty of an open ending. It also gives me the opportunity to write a sequel if I so choose, although considering I killed off Itachi and Naruto and Sasuke is incredibly suicidally miserable and Kakashi is mentally scarred even more (but at least he has 'Ruka) it could be a challenge. Plots tend to just come to me, so if I get one then I might write it, but don't hold your breath. I hope that tied up the glaring loose end right at the end, 'what the hell? Did Kakashi just let Sasuke suicide? OMGWTF?', so no, he didn't. But Sasuke's in a coma, which isn't good. Thanks very much for reading this fic, I really enjoyed writing it for you, and thanks for all the lovely reviews, alerts and favourites. Give me a last review? I love you all :3**


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